its been a while
Wow so after 12 o clock tomorrow the worst 2 weeks of my life will be over. I dont think I have ever been so stressed out before. In a way it was useful because I realized just how much I can accomplish, I am actually smarter than I think I am! (imagine that) However I am sleep deprived,cranky, depressed, u name it! Every little thing seems to set me off lately, so if ur reading this and I have been shitty to u, I apologize, thats not how I am. I have to keep telling myself it will all come together in the end, one day ill see the payoff for all of my hard work. Its pretty sad tho that I have to go get a checkup at the doctor this week just to make sure Im not killing myself with all the stress I have been under, I feel so old! I just want it to end!
I also feel like I have been stuck in a rut lately. I dont do anything exciting anymore, pretty much school takes over my life. In a typical day I go to class, see my boyfriend for a lil bit, then sleep. Not that I dont love my life, cuz I do. i just wish it was more fun sometimes. I constantly feel like the person no one wants to invite out anymore cuz im always doing homework, which is true, but it would be nice to feel needed and wanted. Even my own bf pays less attention to me, have I been that horrible lately? I know he loves me, but it would be nice if he showed it more sometimes. I dunno, maybe I just dont deal well with everything and need to find out how. Other people just seem so with it all the time and here I am this huge ball of stress and nerves. Why cant I be more like them? More put together instead of all over the place all the time. Sometimes I just wish I had an excuse to just quit school, but I dont, so I cant. I want too much out of life, its just so damn hard sometimes.
I also feel like I have been stuck in a rut lately. I dont do anything exciting anymore, pretty much school takes over my life. In a typical day I go to class, see my boyfriend for a lil bit, then sleep. Not that I dont love my life, cuz I do. i just wish it was more fun sometimes. I constantly feel like the person no one wants to invite out anymore cuz im always doing homework, which is true, but it would be nice to feel needed and wanted. Even my own bf pays less attention to me, have I been that horrible lately? I know he loves me, but it would be nice if he showed it more sometimes. I dunno, maybe I just dont deal well with everything and need to find out how. Other people just seem so with it all the time and here I am this huge ball of stress and nerves. Why cant I be more like them? More put together instead of all over the place all the time. Sometimes I just wish I had an excuse to just quit school, but I dont, so I cant. I want too much out of life, its just so damn hard sometimes.