I wrote two versions of the same idea, in a long(er) and a short version, and now I'm almost more interested in the differences between the two versions than in the idea itself. Cutting something down from 277 words to 100 words changed the story radically, for all that they appear similar superficially. The different implications you get when you
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Also longer version contained this:
"pro: conform to social norms, continue Royal House of Alderaan; con: risk conflict with Han, continue House of Vader")
which I loved. ;)
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I liked that the process of condensing a story past that limit highlighted some of the unconscious choices I'd made that I hadn't seen just reading and thinking about the story. I think I can use this as a tool in the future - condensing something too far, seeing what turns up, and incorporating anything I like into the "real" version. I'll have to try stretching something too sometime.
I'm glad you liked that line. I had fun with it :)
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I think I can use this as a tool in the future - condensing something too far, seeing what turns up, and incorporating anything I like into the "real" version.
Oh absolutely. How much can you take away before the story looses its emotional resonance? That said i do think the short version has the best opening line. It's so direct and filled with hurt.
The opening line on the long version is more vague, and therefore the story needs more words to get it going.
I'm glad you liked that line. I had fun with it :)
It was a very good line - and it managed to be funny, poignant and so very Leia all at the same time. Go you!
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Thanks for posting such a fun read!
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A while ago I was reading a Charles D'Ambrosio story in a prize anthology (the O. Henry Prize, i think), and according to his bio Charles revised the story hundreds of times. It's an agressive, desperate way of writing, like sculpting large monuments. Incidentally, I know someone who got in a fist fight with D'Ambrosio... But here I go getting all nonlinear.
If you do more revisions of any of these shorts, I hope you post them too so that people can keep reading ^)
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