Come hell or highwater....
Ok, so I know a lot of people are upset at me, and I know I have not been the best friend ever lately. Let this be my official apology to everyone. I know that I have been spending a lot of time with Brian. But when I look back on it, it doesn't seem like that much ... it's just during times that I would normally hang out with other people. I only see him maybe two or three days a week. And that just happens to be on the weekend. I'm really sorry to those of you who feel like I have been a crappy friend. I feel really bad that you think I'm avoiding you or whatever ... I've just been so busy lately ... when I went to Brian's this weekend, that's what I did over there all weekend ... homework. Oh, and I worked, but that didn't take up TOO much time.
Sorry about the whole Halloween fiasco. I wasn't planning on going out at all, and then, at the last second, I decided to go out ONE night to Quentin's party. I didn't know Tyler's party was that same night. No one told me. I knew that Tyler was having a party, but I didn't know when. So I agreed to go after Quentin's, but I ended up getting so drunk that I don't remember the night after Brian dropped Becky off at home. So obviously I was in no condition to go to another party.
I am just asking that for those of you who are starting to lose patience with me, please, try to have a little bit more patience, and maybe try to have a little more perspective. I realize I am hardly ever around and I don't hang out as much anymore, and I also realize that there are other people who work more than I do or study more. I am just trying to get things sorted in my life and trying to do well in this major since it is soooo competitive and there is so much work involved. I am literally tearing my hair out trying to get things done. And for those of you who knew that I would pull all-nighter's the day before a huge paper was due ... now I pull all-nighters the week before a huge paper is due. I hardly ever procrastinate as badly as I used to, and I can't afford to w/ the workload I have. Maybe I'm just stupid and not able to comprehend things and get things done as quickly as others, but I'm allowed to learn at my own pace. If I say I'm taking a weekend off, it's not to avoid being around anyone ... it's to get some "me" time. I've almost forgotten what free time feels like. I'm sorry, I will quit my complaining, but please just try to understand that I am having a difficult time juggling everything right now. I still love all of you and I'm still grateful that all of you are in my life. I don't feel as included anymore, and I have a good feeling why. It's fine, I deserve it. But if I'm not included, there's really not much of a way for me to get included again unless I basically delete a certain person from my life or just give up on doing homework or start procrastinating again.
I'm sorry, I never meant for this to happen, but I am still trying. I don't want you to think less of me and I still want to keep these strong friendships. It's just a little more complicated now and people might have to be a little flexible in helping me work around that.
Sorry about the whole Halloween fiasco. I wasn't planning on going out at all, and then, at the last second, I decided to go out ONE night to Quentin's party. I didn't know Tyler's party was that same night. No one told me. I knew that Tyler was having a party, but I didn't know when. So I agreed to go after Quentin's, but I ended up getting so drunk that I don't remember the night after Brian dropped Becky off at home. So obviously I was in no condition to go to another party.
I am just asking that for those of you who are starting to lose patience with me, please, try to have a little bit more patience, and maybe try to have a little more perspective. I realize I am hardly ever around and I don't hang out as much anymore, and I also realize that there are other people who work more than I do or study more. I am just trying to get things sorted in my life and trying to do well in this major since it is soooo competitive and there is so much work involved. I am literally tearing my hair out trying to get things done. And for those of you who knew that I would pull all-nighter's the day before a huge paper was due ... now I pull all-nighters the week before a huge paper is due. I hardly ever procrastinate as badly as I used to, and I can't afford to w/ the workload I have. Maybe I'm just stupid and not able to comprehend things and get things done as quickly as others, but I'm allowed to learn at my own pace. If I say I'm taking a weekend off, it's not to avoid being around anyone ... it's to get some "me" time. I've almost forgotten what free time feels like. I'm sorry, I will quit my complaining, but please just try to understand that I am having a difficult time juggling everything right now. I still love all of you and I'm still grateful that all of you are in my life. I don't feel as included anymore, and I have a good feeling why. It's fine, I deserve it. But if I'm not included, there's really not much of a way for me to get included again unless I basically delete a certain person from my life or just give up on doing homework or start procrastinating again.
I'm sorry, I never meant for this to happen, but I am still trying. I don't want you to think less of me and I still want to keep these strong friendships. It's just a little more complicated now and people might have to be a little flexible in helping me work around that.