Alone again....naturally....
You know sometimes I wonder if I'm totally cursed or something. Oh, not with anything noticeably bad like my hair falling out, or some freaky skin disorder or permanent bad breath - but something much worse. Loser-itis. That undefinable quality or aura that makes people just not want to hang out with me, or be my friend for long
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"... And then, you like, feel something taped to your forehead and it's a sign that says 'Gracias por la kidneys' or whatever 'kidneys' is in Mexican,"
I laughed at that one, and watched as he came to a halt in front of one of the doors. I glanced around, wondering if this was all the college life had in store for people. I mean it wasn't my deal, but I guess it was okay for some.
"It's horrible and I guess it happens all the time."
I nodded and watched him open the door and begin talking to his roommate, Jonathan, who was perched in front of the TV from best I could gather. I was taller than Andrew granted, but I still couldn't get a clear view of his friend.
"'Sup. Um, you really should have come to the comic book store with me, because, guess what? Oh! Do you know Xander? I just met him, but oh my god! He bought me all of my cull box! Isn't that the coolest?"
I was yanked into the room, and I had to smile. I mean what were the odds. Okay they were pretty good, but still I mean this was just plain madness. Like Bizarro World or something. Andrew just kept on chatting, pulling something out of the box of comics I had gotten him.
"And look who got his VERY SPECIAL EDITION OF PLANETARY! Xander bought it for you! He's like Santa! I mean, er... for you, like the Jewish Santa."
Andrew was beaming holding the oversized Hardcover in outstretched arms toward Jonathan. Jonathan was probably still trying to figure out how I ended up in his dorm room.
"So long time no see right? I mean last time was when we were blowing up the high school right? Glad to see you are doing pretty good, hey! You got Paine's Special Sphere!" I was instantly interested in how far in the game Jonathan had gotten, I mean I had been playing for a while since my trip got cancelled, but not religiously.
"Yeah, so I met up with Andrew at the comic shop, and did a bit of shopping, we thought about heading to see Constantine. Interested?"
Sure they weren't my normal class of friends, but you know what? They weren't some evil demons, and Buffy was busy with classes and family, and Willow had Oz... and Cordelia? Well... let's say not going down that path again.
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I hear Andrew coming on the other side of the door, and it sounds like we have a guest. Probably Warren again, I mean who else does Andrew get animated talking to nowadays? Andrew's going on about the organ trafficking again? Sheesh it's like this totally broken record with him. I think he's been watching too many of my taped re-runs of the X-files lately or something. I'm trying to ignore him, focus on the game, because really, don't want to be the third wheel in my own dorm room, but finally I look up.
"'Sup. Um, you really should have come to the comic book store with me, because, guess what?"
I shrug despondently, whatever it is I'm sure he'll be spilling in two seconds flat.
"Oh! Do you know Xander? I just met him, but oh my god! He bought me all of my cull box! Isn't that the coolest?"
Whoa, okay, was so not expecting this. Xander Harris, from high school. In my dorm room. He's okay actually, but still it sorta feels like I'm experiencing a time warp for a second, going back at Sunnydale High. Which, actually, could happen in this freaky town.
I approximate a halfhearted welcoming smile, and pause the game.
"Yeah. That's way cool. Hey, Xander." I respond, with a slight hint of reserve, playing it cool. "And Wells, it's gracias por los kidneys plural, not feminine. You always get that wrong."
"And look who got his VERY SPECIAL EDITION OF PLANETARY! Xander bought it for you! He's like Santa! I mean, er... for you, like the Jewish Santa."
I roll my eyes at Andrew.
"Duh, we don't have a Santa. And we don't give gifts at Hanukkah, just latkes and dreidels, because it's not about presents, but about spiritual renewal..." God, I sound like my mother giving a lecture about why presents were so gentile, and why Chrismukkah cards were crass. I reach out to take the book, and direct a more grateful smile to Xander. "Uhh, thanks dude, that was really generous of you."
"So long time no see right? I mean last time was when we were blowing up the high school right? Glad to see you are doing pretty good, hey! You got Paine's Special Sphere!"
I find my smile widening into a grin, remembering blowing up the school. What normal kid doesn't dream about demolishing their school at least once in a while? And we really got to do it.
"Yeah, good times." I agree, and then turn to the TV set. "Yeah, I'm pretty close to the end now. I want to get the perfect ending, I read on gamefaqs.com that it was a pretty cool ending."
"Yeah, so I met up with Andrew at the comic shop, and did a bit of shopping, we thought about heading to see Constantine. Interested?"
"Constantine? Awesome, I've been wanting to see that. I'd be up for that. I downloaded the trailer, and it totally looked like it's gonna have some bitchin' special effects..." I decide to leave the PS2 on pause and come back to it later, I'm not really in a good position to save. I reach for my jacket and get ready to leave. "So, are we ready to hit the road?"
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I smiled sheepishly at my little friend. I guess things just hadn't been the same for him since he and Fred, uh, "broke up."
"Yay! Constantine! Bring your leftover Pez, though, 'cause it starts soon and I don't think we'll have enough time to buy candy. We don't want to miss the trailers, 'cause, um... Yeah. We don't want to miss the trailers," I concluded, lamely.
It kind of threw me off that Jonathan knew Xander already. I should have guessed, as they were in the same class and all. And, Jonathan *had* been more popular than I was in high school. It would make sense that he'd know people from the beautiful and glamorous set.
"All set," I smiled at Xander, grabbing my manbag. "Maybe we can just stop in the dorm lobby and raid the soda machine? And hey, Jonathan? I'm sorry I didn't push you hard enough to come to the store with me. I'll buy you a grape crush and make it up to you, okay?"
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I nodded, having heard the same thing, but not just hearing someone else say it? Made me feel I don't know. Sort of normal for once. I mean I had no other guy-pals to talk to stuff like that about, although not that these could be 'guy-pals', but hey it is a start.
"Constantine? Awesome, I've been wanting to see that. I'd be up for that. I downloaded the trailer, and it totally looked like it's gonna have some bitchin' special effects... So, are we ready to hit the road?"
I glance to Andrew who seemed a bit sad that I already knew Jonathan, although knowing someone and 'knowing' them in Sunnydale, were two completely different things. We were of two different groups, but the way I see it? Had Buffy not come into town? Perhaps I would have been the third wheel to this odd tricycle. Or a Vampire. Either way? Very much with the different.
"Yay! Constantine! Bring your leftover Pez, though, 'cause it starts soon and I don't think we'll have enough time to buy candy. We don't want to miss the trailers, 'cause, um... Yeah. We don't want to miss the trailers,"
See? These were 'my' type of people. Buffy and Willow always rushed to the theater to just get the opening credits, all claiming that their time was valueable, and if they wanted to watch commercials they would have stayed home. Andrew grabbed, a - what is that? A purse? Oh well. Last one to judge here, I date mummies and mantis women, and took a demon to prom.
"All set, maybe we can just stop in the dorm lobby and raid the soda machine? And hey, Jonathan? I'm sorry I didn't push you hard enough to come to the store with me. I'll buy you a grape crush and make it up to you, okay?"
Jonathan shrugged it off, and we were off to the lobby. All dorms seemed the same. Sort of like pod people made them. Andrew and Jonathan filled the purse with candy, and suddenly it made sense why he was bringing it. We headed out to my car and after a brief period of shotgun calling they piled in. It was crazy to think that I was going out with 'the boys'. Wow. They could become 'my boys', sure it is an odd thought, but with Buffy and slaying, and school? It was hard to find time to fit in there and get quality friend time. Plus Willow? All with the Ozness, and Anya? Yeah I heard she was back in town, but not really wanting to see her right now. As I recall her love of money might just overwhelm her love of me.
Once at the theater I paid for both of them, and they were more than thankful. We headed in and had plenty of time. They were still showing the slides where they give you the trivia questions but never the answers, or the answers but to the wrong questions.
"Someone should really check those slides."
"Yeah, some future Jeopardy contestant might sue if they lose."
Giggling commenced and I knew I was going to have fun. The lights dimmed and Andrew started to freak out when he realized it was the trailer to DA's Hitchhiker's Guide. Apparantly he had only seen the teaser, and this one was supposed to have images of the creatures. It looked pretty cool, and I added it to my must see list.
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"Well if you hadn't drank all that Pepsi? You wouldn't have missed those parts! I mean come on! Two trips to the bathroom? And you didn't even time it so that it was during the boring Keanu talking moments. It was always you wiggling in your seat until you couldn't hold it, which usually meant something cool was going to happen."
We had sat through two hours of Keanu trying not to seem like he did in everyother movie. The only thing that saved his performance was the special effects. Otherwise I had been trying to recast it in my head for a good portion of the film.
Classic moment though? When the little Mexican dude is crouched to the ground clutching the spear head, sword thing, and Jonathan leans over and goes, 'My Precious' If I hadn't just swallowed my swig of Pepsi? The guy in front of me would have been mighty pissed at me.
"I just wish Keanu would stop acting. I mean honestly, I am sick of the movies where he is 'the only one that knows', talk about typecasting."
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I nodded and smirked at Xander dressing down Andrew and his lack of bladder control. Of course I knew why Andrew hadn't left during the Keanu talk-a-thon scenes.
"That's because Wells here has a big old man-crush on Keanu. He like went and saw the Matrix like sixteen times in one week. He even has 'A Walk in the Clouds' on DVD. It's totally pathetic. I mean, Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure was a classic, and granted, the Matrix was way cool, and Keanu kicked ass and looked good in black. But sheesh, he's like only got two expressions. Blank, and blanker."
I popped more pez in my mouth and crunched on them as we continued walking to Xander's car.
"I just wish Keanu would stop acting. I mean honestly, I am sick of the movies where he is 'the only one that knows', talk about typecasting."
I stopped in my tracks and stared at Xander, awe and wonder on my face.
"Dude, that was like a Jedi moment. I was thinking exactly the same exact same thing. All that there can be only one Chosen One crap is so lame. Why is it only one? That's stupid and not very strategically sound if you ask me. A league of heroes would do better than putting all your powers in one superhero. Except Highlander. The original, not the crap sequel. That's the exception that proves the rule."
I grinned and put on my best Clancy Brown voice.
"There can BE only one."
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"Hey, wait!" I snapped, realizing there was something else that annoyed me. "I didn't *even* have a man crush or WHATEVER on Keanu. I just like his, um, movies. And that 'Walk in the Clouds' DVD I got for a cent through Columbia House. So don't EVEN. Just because you don't get his subtlety, it doesn't mean he's not a good actor. I mean, hello? 'River's Edge'? 'My Own Private Idaho'?? And there was that one where he was the devil's... oh yeah, 'Devil's Advocate.' But, whatever. He's good. A man cannot be judged on 'Point Break' alone."
No one understand me. My words of wisdom as a Keanu devotee fell on stupid ears. So, I pouted all the way back to the dorms. I agreed with them on the whole Highlander issue, but, apparently my opinion was invalid because I thought Keanu did a good job.
"But what was up with Gabriel? Was that a lady? Or a man?" I asked, as we pulled up to campus. "I want to go back to the comics and see if Gabriel was drawn that gender-neutral. Because that was freaky. I wonder if Tucker has all my Hellblazers, still?"
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"Dude, that was like a Jedi moment. I was thinking exactly the same exact same thing. All that there can be only one Chosen One crap is so lame. Why is it only one? That's stupid and not very strategically sound if you ask me. A league of heroes would do better than putting all your powers in one superhero. Except Highlander. The original, not the crap sequel. That's the exception that proves the rule."
"There can BE only one."
Yep. These were my people. I tried something like that with Buffy, being the Slayer and all, and they all just laughed at me. Laughed! At Highlander! You don't laugh at that!
"But what was up with Gabriel? Was that a lady? Or a man? I want to go back to the comics and see if Gabriel was drawn that gender-neutral. Because that was freaky. I wonder if Tucker has all my Hellblazers, still?"
I thought about it for a moment, and of course I wanted my words to be prolific and impressive now, since I was all with the Jedi now.
"Well the actress was Tilda something, I think I remember her in something with Nicholas Cage in it. I think they went with her, cause well she is kind of androgynous in a way, but still really talented. I think Angels are supposed to be like neither male or female, just these ehtereal creatures. She looked hot though. I mean her and the devil? Made the movie, plus the Devil? Totally the guy from Armeggedon who was all "This is how we fix things on Russian Space station!" I love that guy!"
We finally made it out to my car and I glanced at the time. Yikes! It was getting kind of late. I mean not that I had other things to do, well wait I did. I was supposed to be all Recon man, looking for Faith. Hmmm.. I wonder if the boys would be interested in a bit of spy games. I mean Jonathon knew the score for Sunnydale I think, and Andrew? Sure he seems like he is all with the Sunnydale is a hotbed of bad stuff. Could I just ask them to help me out?
I thought about it and decided to test the waters a bit. I mean if they freaked out I could pawn it off as some random D&D reference or something right?
"So, you boys up for a bit of recon with me? There's an ex-comatose patient on the loose, and I am supposed to start making with the tracking. Are you game?"
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Xander wanted to go do some recon? That sounded way cool, and for a second I was all for the going into covert ops mode. Ex-comatose patient? Who could that be? Maybe it a was a girl and she was hot! But then I remembered...
"Damn it! Sorry dude but I have to cram for a Latin make up test first thing in the morning. See I had this 'episode' at the counsellor's office, and ended up go way over time. My latin professor said I could still get a grade for the test if I sat it tomorrow. Sounds awesome though."
I tried not to sound too disappointed, but heck latin was one of the subjects I really wanted to do well in because it helped me with my spells.
"I'm sure Andrew's game though. Just make sure you don't let him wear the wind-cheater or you can kiss any stealth action goodbye."
I clapped Andrew on the shoulder and grinned at him but the smile didn't reach my eyes. Yeah, he was still in my bad books. It was gonna take more than some free grape soda or comic book offerings before I'd forgive him for leaving me in the lurch. With Robo-boy.
Man, what a loser I was if I couldn't even keep my loser friends from ditching me for all things 'better, faster, stronger'.
Maybe it was just time for me to go back to my dorm, take my meds, cram latin, play some more X-2 and then call it a night. I sighed heavily.
"Just drop me off near the dorm, okay?"
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