:(
Lately I have like everyone puts there needs and desires above mine. I know that is not the case actually but that is how I have been feeling. I feel like I am the one who has to accommodate everyone else, I need to bend so that others don't break. My mom has these crazy whims sometimes, she really wanted to go to this Disney Outlet store, I was not all that interested and wanted to go other places; but yet again I let go of my agenda to accommodate hers. We did not know exactly where were going, my mom was looking at the map and player navigator so we would not get lost. Well I am on the freeway and I come the the 91 (the freeway we were supposed to take to get to the store) I ask mom which way 91 east or 91 west? I believe it is 91 so I merge into that lane premptively....my mom said just stay here so I assumed I had made the correct choice, as we keep going I say yet again Mom, EAST or WEST. She says EAST EAST, I don't know EAST. So I merge back into the lane for 91 east. As we are driving I ask her are you sure we wanted to go this way, and she is READING A BOOK not looking at the map. I was a little peeved. Well it turns out we were supposed to go WEST. As we are driving and turning around both my sister and I make some comment about if mom wanted to read she could have stayed in bed all day, since you had been reading in bed all morning. Then my mom says (she actually said this) Well I was asleep before I woke up!" And I said "Most people are" and she was fuming! Shana my sister was laughing, it was funny,even if she didn't see the humor in it.
SO we went to the store, not much to write home about there some decent stuff mostly cheesy stuff though did manage to buy a few things.
I am getting antsy at this point, because I have not really heard or spoken to Jesse in a while. Yesterday we (being my sister, mom and I) went to see a taping of the TV show Two and a half Men it was really funny and exciting. We were originally supposed to go see a taping of Joey but didn't make it in. We saw an accident happen right outside of the Warner Bros. Studio and had to talk to the police, and since we missed Joey they allowed us to go see Two and a half Men. Jon Cryer is just as cute as he was in Pretty in Pink :) It was a fun long day, but I really enjoyed it. I had been waiting all week to go. Had told Jesse on Monday the day I got the tickets and asked him if he wanted to come along as well and he said sure. Well he ended up taking Thursday off not Friday so he couldn't go. I understand having to work and I appreciate that that is where his priorities need to be, but I am just getting a little frustrated. Lately he has been pretty unitarian in his decisions about what to do. He says we are going here for lunch, or he is going to be free from x time to y time, and I feel like i have to be available whenever since he has no free time. It just feels like his needs are being meet while mine are put on the back burner. I am most likely just being hyper emoitional and overly sensitive, but my feelings were very hurt. He is an incredible guy and I feel badly because I know he is stressed out. I just wish he had some more time to just unwind because he always seems like he has something on his mind.
But I digress.....so I was antsy because I hadn't heard from him really or had any clue as what he was up to and if I was going to be able to see him at all. He texted me at like 5:30 saying he would be at the gym and could see me at 6:00. Well I was out shopping with my mom and sister and had no idea if I could meet him at six, and I lost it.....yet again I felt like everyone else was getting what they wanted and I was getting the shaft. I want to see my boyfriend I want to shop with my mom and sister, I want to be asked what I am doing and if 6 works for me or if there is a better time. I want to be valued! :( No one seems to value me, they just all assume that I will be available to do whatever whenever, I am just feeling like I don't count :( ) So I texted him how I was feeling, he said sorry. Not sure he really understands how I am feeling, not sure if he should understand how I am feeling. I am just kinda at a loss as to what to do. I am beyond happy with him and really do see a future with him. But I want a partnership a democracy of sorts in my relationship, I do not want a dictator :( I want someone who values my opinion and my time. I know he does this 95% of the time I just hope the 5% doesn't grow into a higher percentage at a later date.
So I talk to my mom and sister and ask if we can finish up shopping tomorrow instead and they were agreeable. Then I texted Jesse and asked him if he just wanted to come over at 7:30 and we could decide from there what to do and he said sure! So that seemed to be a solution.
But it is almost 8 and he is not here. And I just received an im from him telling me sorry he will be over soon. I am overly sensitive and emotional and I am pmsing I think but BLAH. This is just muy muy mal. No Bueno! :(
Hope the evening turns out better. because as it stands right now it blows!
SO we went to the store, not much to write home about there some decent stuff mostly cheesy stuff though did manage to buy a few things.
I am getting antsy at this point, because I have not really heard or spoken to Jesse in a while. Yesterday we (being my sister, mom and I) went to see a taping of the TV show Two and a half Men it was really funny and exciting. We were originally supposed to go see a taping of Joey but didn't make it in. We saw an accident happen right outside of the Warner Bros. Studio and had to talk to the police, and since we missed Joey they allowed us to go see Two and a half Men. Jon Cryer is just as cute as he was in Pretty in Pink :) It was a fun long day, but I really enjoyed it. I had been waiting all week to go. Had told Jesse on Monday the day I got the tickets and asked him if he wanted to come along as well and he said sure. Well he ended up taking Thursday off not Friday so he couldn't go. I understand having to work and I appreciate that that is where his priorities need to be, but I am just getting a little frustrated. Lately he has been pretty unitarian in his decisions about what to do. He says we are going here for lunch, or he is going to be free from x time to y time, and I feel like i have to be available whenever since he has no free time. It just feels like his needs are being meet while mine are put on the back burner. I am most likely just being hyper emoitional and overly sensitive, but my feelings were very hurt. He is an incredible guy and I feel badly because I know he is stressed out. I just wish he had some more time to just unwind because he always seems like he has something on his mind.
But I digress.....so I was antsy because I hadn't heard from him really or had any clue as what he was up to and if I was going to be able to see him at all. He texted me at like 5:30 saying he would be at the gym and could see me at 6:00. Well I was out shopping with my mom and sister and had no idea if I could meet him at six, and I lost it.....yet again I felt like everyone else was getting what they wanted and I was getting the shaft. I want to see my boyfriend I want to shop with my mom and sister, I want to be asked what I am doing and if 6 works for me or if there is a better time. I want to be valued! :( No one seems to value me, they just all assume that I will be available to do whatever whenever, I am just feeling like I don't count :( ) So I texted him how I was feeling, he said sorry. Not sure he really understands how I am feeling, not sure if he should understand how I am feeling. I am just kinda at a loss as to what to do. I am beyond happy with him and really do see a future with him. But I want a partnership a democracy of sorts in my relationship, I do not want a dictator :( I want someone who values my opinion and my time. I know he does this 95% of the time I just hope the 5% doesn't grow into a higher percentage at a later date.
So I talk to my mom and sister and ask if we can finish up shopping tomorrow instead and they were agreeable. Then I texted Jesse and asked him if he just wanted to come over at 7:30 and we could decide from there what to do and he said sure! So that seemed to be a solution.
But it is almost 8 and he is not here. And I just received an im from him telling me sorry he will be over soon. I am overly sensitive and emotional and I am pmsing I think but BLAH. This is just muy muy mal. No Bueno! :(
Hope the evening turns out better. because as it stands right now it blows!