Compliments
In an article ( www.chicagotribune.com/news/local/chi-compliment-guys-13-mar13,0,6849324.story ) I found via Salon, a small bit of social controversy has been created by two sophomores giving compliments at a college campus every Wednesday for two hours. There is question about their intent and the impact it has on those who are receiving the compliments. There is the obvious discourse on male female relations as it relates to boundaries, feminism and general interpersonal relationships. I think I am less interested in those things and more interested on the impact it has on the two young men.
To understand the true nature of subjects pertaining to society, etiquette one must understand nuances.
A well done compliment could be compared to a well fitted suit. They take quality, good form, style, time and attention to detail. I suspect these two gentle men are still perfecting the art of a compliment. What an interesting crash course they are giving themselves. Compliments should always be sincere and never forced. If you asked me to give 30 compliments in an hour to random strangers, I suspect I could give 10 sincere quality compliments, 10 average compliments and undoubtedly 10 compliments would lack the quality to absolutely ensure the recipient knew the nature of the complement well enough to not be offended. I wonder if I did this once a week for a year how much this ratio would change.
When I read this article I do not ponder the impact these two young men are having on others as I do on themselves. It would be my hope that when they are done with this little gig, they will have mastered this art form. So when they do want to give a real complement there will be no question of intent and it will be received well. If all college students could adeptly perform this deceivingly not so simple act after graduation, I think the world would be a better place.