(no subject)
It's so weird. I feel so bad and inappropriate. I feel like I've been given an handicapped heart. A cold heart. A fake, plastic heart, that does the physiological job, but that's about it. I feel trapped, but I don't move. I feel nervous, but I stand still. I ran away today without a word. He can't reach me here. He is so nice, he is so attentive. I'm all the opposite, and this he is beginning to discover. Some people don't have luck. I guess it's his case. He's so unlucky he found me and showed interest in me. I'm an interest-whore, driven by hormones and without any conscience. Damn me. I used to see all that was good in him. Now everybody else seem more interesting to me. The change is so radical, my brain is so weird. I tried to convince myself we were made for each other, and it worked, but only for a while. Argh, devil. I need to talk to him. Soon. I'm so weak. I don't know what to tell him. I don't even know the reasons of my feelings. They're just there, nothing's rational. burrrrr