grrrr arg
well yeah....yet another day shoved down the crap hole for the chrisness.....my life is going no where....well somewhere..but i dont care much.....it seems like nothing i do say or think about makes me happy anymore....i feel so empty yet full.....full of crap and info and ideas..it makes me sick most the time....but yeah.....all i do never makes me feel alive or good anymore....it either makes me depressed or closed off...god life sux....i mean.....like today...i was just sitting around all day doing nothing....the highlight of my day was at 830 rachel called and she was upset so i helped her out...and made her feel better...but what did that do for me...just made me give out even more of myself when theres nothing there to give.....i dont know what i could ever do to make someone feel better....im such an ugly depressing oaf.....sometimes i think people would be much better if i wasn't around...thats why i'll be so happy when i disappear to uic....i could just go away and become some number instead of the chrisness.....i just wanna stick to myself and not care to anyone but me...knowing my luck all of a sudden i'll start caring again and i'll ruin it...but yeah.....grrrr arg