Writer's Block: Merry Christmas

[sunkissedgirly]

The best present I received this year was Nicholas. He's getting ready to redeploy and has been away at training with his unit since the beginning of November. He wasn't able to come home for Thanksgiving, so although it really upset me, I wasn't too surprised when he said he wasn't going to be able to leave for Christmas. I made sure to mail his

Comments

[sunkissedgirly]

At least you were able to recognize the path (or lack thereof) your relationship was heading, and wasn't staying put for the sake of being in a relationship. Nick has been deployed for at least over 60% of the time we've been "together". Don't get me wrong, I'm head over heels for the guy, but every time we begin to have the opportunity to grow as a couple, he's shipped out. So we spend our physical time together is this false honeymoon state. We're almost 3 years into this thing so to back out now, for me at least, is a big thing. But it's frustrating - as my friends are getting engaged, married, and having kids, the questions of when will it be me are a constant. People hear we've been together 3 years and so it's the logical question, I understand. But, if Nick were to ask me to marry him tomorrow I would say no. He knows this, but doesn't understand it or agree with it. If it were up to him we would be married or at least engaged. It's a huge point of contention for us. I swore I'd never let a guy hold me back or influence who I am supposed to become, but I definitely have. and it upsets me. It's so cliche but having your significant other deployed is so emotionally, physically, and mentally taxing. Im the only one of my friends who has to worry about their loved one - if they're still alive or still in one piece. And always in the back of my mind is the thought of what would i do, if god forbid he doesn't make it out of that sand box? Or comes back maimed, or mentally gone. And I don't know.

I'm rambling, but the point I think I was trying to make is that in some sick way I've been in a stagnant relationship for 3 years.

[riding_wildfire]

The guy I broke up with is in the Army Reserves. Just comissioned for the 6-year officer program and also finishing college. So even though he's not deployed we're always too busy to see each other. But even if that weren't an issue my problem extended to us having nothing in common beyond hiking, which in the winter basically translates to friends-with-benefits which I'm not into, and not being on remotely the same track in life. No chance for a future together that would satisfy either one of us no matter how much we like each other or how well we get along. Was to the point of loving him without being in love with him, cliche as that sounds.

[sunkissedgirly]

Love can be so complicated. I wish things ended happily ever after like in the movies, especially Disney. Also, there's something so sexy about a man in uniform. Too bad that uniform makes them busy and takes them over seas.

[riding_wildfire]

I largely blame Disney for a lot of the idiotic ideas girls have about men and relationships that make us so easy to take advantage of til we're like, 24.