eeyore no more
i had my epiphany last night. i was looking over various syllabi last night and happened to discover that we have ONLY nineteen more days of school until we leave. nineteen. stop. think. let it sink in. nineteen days of class. nine before the two week break for semana santa and ten days after. aaron was working on an essay, but i interrupted him because i was laughing so hard. i realized last night that once next semester begins, i am going to have probably the worst work ethic i've ever known. "you mean school isn't closed EVERY friday? oh, and we're NOT travelling to an island this weekend? and what's that? no mandatory naptime?" on monday, i walked into my cinema class feeling overly confident so after i walked up to the professor, who is also my professor for art and one of my literature classes and said the following, "hi. umm...do you think i need to show up for class tomorrow?" he said, "well, i guess only if you have questions about the reading. do you have any questions?" i replied, "umm...i didn't start it." he said, "oh, well then i guess you don't have any questions then." me: "nope. see you around." so i didn't have to wake up early for my 930 class this morning, which worked out pleasantly. later that night i had to email the same man an essay that as of 8pm, i hadn't begun. so i wrote it fast and cranked out some utter crap. and i mean that. it was utter crap. the assignment was for 3 pages, i wrote one and a half. also, i never read the book upon which the essay was based, so i just wrote generalizations or things that i thought could be true. oh, also in the essay, i wrote the title of the book incorrectly. instead of writing La cabeza del cordero, i wrote El cabeza el cordero; which, for those of you who don't speak spanish, is complete and utter jibberish; it means nothing. this morning i received a reply to the paper and expected a good castigation. it said, "many mistakes. overall good work. grade: A." how does this work? someone explain to me how i will be able to function when i return to reality...please.
anyway, i guess the point of this rant is that we are nothing more than pampered little kids here. we live in our little SUNY bubble where everything is fun and easy and we get to travel wherever we want whenever we want and do pretty much whatever we want. there is nothing holding me back here; we have so much just handed to us and it's silly to take any of it for granted. next weekend we've got ANOTHER free trip to like 3 cities in spain as well as free entrance to the museum of abstract art. i feel so silly thinking now about how i was a trainwreck before i came here, feeling like i wouldn't be able to talk to anyone and thinking about how i'd be failing all my classes because i wouldn't be able to understand anything and then i'd lose my scholarship and drop out of school and end up in a box on the street singing with a monkey for change. now i feel pretty much unstoppable in this culture, which i still find to be backward, but almost a good kind of backward. i know that the things i take with me when i leave are far greater and more important than the silly castigations of corona or the weird looks i get on the street. each of them represents a part of a different culture and a part of a great story that i can tell to the people who really matter to me back home.
anyway, i guess the point of this rant is that we are nothing more than pampered little kids here. we live in our little SUNY bubble where everything is fun and easy and we get to travel wherever we want whenever we want and do pretty much whatever we want. there is nothing holding me back here; we have so much just handed to us and it's silly to take any of it for granted. next weekend we've got ANOTHER free trip to like 3 cities in spain as well as free entrance to the museum of abstract art. i feel so silly thinking now about how i was a trainwreck before i came here, feeling like i wouldn't be able to talk to anyone and thinking about how i'd be failing all my classes because i wouldn't be able to understand anything and then i'd lose my scholarship and drop out of school and end up in a box on the street singing with a monkey for change. now i feel pretty much unstoppable in this culture, which i still find to be backward, but almost a good kind of backward. i know that the things i take with me when i leave are far greater and more important than the silly castigations of corona or the weird looks i get on the street. each of them represents a part of a different culture and a part of a great story that i can tell to the people who really matter to me back home.