having a baby
this lady just left our house and i guess she was one of corona's friends. she started golden, bringing a dog with her. we asked what its name was and she said, "whoopi...like whoopi goldberg!" and i was all "wow, what a fun name." she said, "well i named her whoopi goldberg because she's black...like whoopi goldberg." and i was all "oookaaaaay." then corona came in the room and told this lady that i have such a beautiful labrador (not true, but the day she asked me what kind of dog i had, i couldn't remember the word for golden retriever). corona was all "andreyu, go get your picture to show her." so i went to my room and got my photo album that jessica blaser bought for me for my birthday because that's where i keep my colby like the cheese photo. so this lady is looking at them and says "my, what a pretty dog you have." i was all "yeah, it's pretty." then she looks at the next picture. (this, for the record is weird because i haven't known this woman more than 3 minutes at this point and she presumes that she can peruse my photos; yeah, no.) she then says, "oh, is this a picture of your mom?" i look at the photo knowing full well that i have absolutely no photos of my mom with me in madrid and i may have gasped aloud because the photo she was pointing to was actually a photo of me. luckily corona broke the awkward silience with, "oh no, silly! that is a picture of him! but he has longer hair." the woman snapped back though, saying, "no...it looks like a woman!" at this point i've given up all hope of maintaining any shred of dignity that i may have had and was just like "nope, me." then i walked away. then i stepped on little black whoopi goldberg. (that last sentence was false, the rest all too true.)