Original: "For Want of Caffeine" slash
First completed fic in a year, clocking in at 1,044. I've had the first sentence in my head for ages and finally, I have the motivation.
Hopefully people enjoy. C&C is always welcome. As is adoration.
Title: For Want of Caffeine
Genre: superheroes, slash
Warning: lil bit of potty mouth.
Summary: It was five in the morning and Merrick's supervillain boyfriend sucked, and not in the good way.
“I think we should be gay. With each other. Or - well - we don’t have to. But it’d be a good idea.”
Merrick wondered if the steel beam to his head last night was responsible for the hallucination. And it was a hallucination. He was very sure of that. No way in Aludan’s ten hells would his boyfriend be standing in the doorway at five in the morning propositioning him. Or something. It was hard to focus when half of him was still back in bed and sleeping, like all sane creatures did at this time of the morning.
So Merrick did what anyone would do; shut the door in the hallucination’s face.
Except, hey, turns out? Not a hallucination. Hallucinations couldn’t force the door open with their skinny frame and shove past Merrick with a muttered, “asshole”.
“Zach,” Merrick said slowly, voice thick with sleep. “It’s five in the morning.”
“Yeah, I know,” Zach said as he took up residence on the couch. “Sorry. Hope you weren’t asleep.”
“Five in the morning,” Merrick repeated desperately.
“Thought it was Monday. Had three - no, four cups of coffee. Can’t sleep. What about it?”
Merrick would have cried if he had anything resembling tear ducts. Talking to Zach was exhausting on the best of days - half-awake and distressingly caffeine-less, Merrik didn’t stand a chance. “What about what?” he asked, deciding that going with the flow was the only option in this scenario. Other than teleporting to the moon that is, but that would have been overkill.
“The gay thing,” said Zach, impatiently. He was, Merrick noted with rising horror, doing that squinty-eyed thing which meant he was reading future possibilities. Merrick wondered if there was one in which a supervillain attacked Central and interrupted this ridiculous conversation. Then he remembered that Zach was a supervillain.
“What about the gay thing?” Merrick said, for lack of anything more coherent. He collapsed on the couch, leaned on Zach’s slight weight, and settled in for one hell of a ride. Hopefully this time it wouldn’t end with him in the sun.
He felt Zach folded his ridiculously thin arms and shrug. “You’re the only person I don’t want to wipe off the face of the planet. And I would like to think you were fond of me too.”
Those were the longest sentences Merrick had ever heard from Zach. Still said in that flat monotone though. And doing absolutely to answer Merrick’s initial question. “Um...okay.” Merrick was aiming for gentle agreement, but it just sounded as if he were talking to a crazy person, which probably wasn’t all that far from the truth.
“I realise this is a shock,” Zach continued, “my research into your race revealed that homosexuality was uncommon in your culture. So I’m willing to give you time to adjust. Perhaps movies.”
“Wait, what?” Merrick said, finally woken out of his comfortable daze by the realisation that something was terribly odd about this conversation.
Zach’s bushy eyebrows came together in a frown. “Yes?”
“I’m lost. What’re we talking about?”
“You and I. As a duo. A couple. Partners.”
The first book Merrick had read upon arriving in this ball of mud was Alice in Wonderland. He felt a lot like the eponymous girl. “Zach,” he said very, very carefully, “are you suggesting that we date?”
Zach nodded readily. “Apparently, that’s the next step. After mutual confirmation of interest. According to various websites.”
Merrick took a deep breath, buried his face in his palms and laughed. And laughed. And laughed. He almost choked, he was laughing so hard. “Oh for Aludan’s sake,” he muttered in between bouts of hilarity. With great restraint that would have done his House proud, Merrick reigned in his mirth and looked at Zach.
“Zach,” he said again, even slower, “when you say ‘date’, you mean like going to dinner just the two of us?”
“Yes.”
“Or maybe shows and carnivals and concerts?”
“Presumably.”
“Maybe you even mean kicking third rate villain arse together for a change of pace?”
Zach’s frown got deeper. “Is there a point to this? And yes.”
Merrick reminded himself that he’d voluntarily chosen to befriend the most awkward boy on the planet. “Zach, we’ve been dating for two months now.”
“No we haven’t,” Zach denied, immediate and definite.
Caffeine would have made this conversation so much easier, Merrick mourned. “Yes, we have. Try to think back to, oh, last week. Or the week before.”
Merrick could pinpoint the moment Zach got it; something like surprise came over his face. Merrick wished he could have taken a photo of it then send it to his parents back home. It was hard to surprise someone who could see the future, but Merrick had always been a high achiever. “Oh,” Zach said quietly, that one syllable full of something a lot like wonder. It lasted for all of a second, then he was back with, “you never kissed me. Unless the internet lied to me about that. That is entirely possible.”
“Zach, what kind of websites did you look up?” Merrick asked, hurriedly continuing because truth be told, he didn’t actually want to know. “Never mind. And the answer is, I tried but you kept moving away. I thought you were just embarrassed or something. Your terran moralities confuse me. And by the way, we don’t have a word for homosexual because we don't really care.”
“Interesting. And my apologies. I thought you were just being very friendly. I’m very oblivious,” Zach offered. It was said in such a straightforward, inimitable Zach way that Merrick had to laugh, burying the sound in Zach’s shoulder.
“And I’m supposed to be the alien one,” Merrick said moments later, snickers occasionally escaping him.
Zach made a sound of agreement, slouching down further in the seat until they were a comfortable pile of limbs and torsos, supporting each other.
It was five in the morning, Merrick was still caffeine-less, and it turned out his supervillain boyfriend hadn’t even known they were boyfriends, which was all manners of suck except the good kind. Despite that, it was still going on the list of best mornings ever, fifth place at least.
It moved to first when Zach kissed him, all dry lips and warmth. And tasting of caffeine.
Hopefully people enjoy. C&C is always welcome. As is adoration.
Title: For Want of Caffeine
Genre: superheroes, slash
Warning: lil bit of potty mouth.
Summary: It was five in the morning and Merrick's supervillain boyfriend sucked, and not in the good way.
“I think we should be gay. With each other. Or - well - we don’t have to. But it’d be a good idea.”
Merrick wondered if the steel beam to his head last night was responsible for the hallucination. And it was a hallucination. He was very sure of that. No way in Aludan’s ten hells would his boyfriend be standing in the doorway at five in the morning propositioning him. Or something. It was hard to focus when half of him was still back in bed and sleeping, like all sane creatures did at this time of the morning.
So Merrick did what anyone would do; shut the door in the hallucination’s face.
Except, hey, turns out? Not a hallucination. Hallucinations couldn’t force the door open with their skinny frame and shove past Merrick with a muttered, “asshole”.
“Zach,” Merrick said slowly, voice thick with sleep. “It’s five in the morning.”
“Yeah, I know,” Zach said as he took up residence on the couch. “Sorry. Hope you weren’t asleep.”
“Five in the morning,” Merrick repeated desperately.
“Thought it was Monday. Had three - no, four cups of coffee. Can’t sleep. What about it?”
Merrick would have cried if he had anything resembling tear ducts. Talking to Zach was exhausting on the best of days - half-awake and distressingly caffeine-less, Merrik didn’t stand a chance. “What about what?” he asked, deciding that going with the flow was the only option in this scenario. Other than teleporting to the moon that is, but that would have been overkill.
“The gay thing,” said Zach, impatiently. He was, Merrick noted with rising horror, doing that squinty-eyed thing which meant he was reading future possibilities. Merrick wondered if there was one in which a supervillain attacked Central and interrupted this ridiculous conversation. Then he remembered that Zach was a supervillain.
“What about the gay thing?” Merrick said, for lack of anything more coherent. He collapsed on the couch, leaned on Zach’s slight weight, and settled in for one hell of a ride. Hopefully this time it wouldn’t end with him in the sun.
He felt Zach folded his ridiculously thin arms and shrug. “You’re the only person I don’t want to wipe off the face of the planet. And I would like to think you were fond of me too.”
Those were the longest sentences Merrick had ever heard from Zach. Still said in that flat monotone though. And doing absolutely to answer Merrick’s initial question. “Um...okay.” Merrick was aiming for gentle agreement, but it just sounded as if he were talking to a crazy person, which probably wasn’t all that far from the truth.
“I realise this is a shock,” Zach continued, “my research into your race revealed that homosexuality was uncommon in your culture. So I’m willing to give you time to adjust. Perhaps movies.”
“Wait, what?” Merrick said, finally woken out of his comfortable daze by the realisation that something was terribly odd about this conversation.
Zach’s bushy eyebrows came together in a frown. “Yes?”
“I’m lost. What’re we talking about?”
“You and I. As a duo. A couple. Partners.”
The first book Merrick had read upon arriving in this ball of mud was Alice in Wonderland. He felt a lot like the eponymous girl. “Zach,” he said very, very carefully, “are you suggesting that we date?”
Zach nodded readily. “Apparently, that’s the next step. After mutual confirmation of interest. According to various websites.”
Merrick took a deep breath, buried his face in his palms and laughed. And laughed. And laughed. He almost choked, he was laughing so hard. “Oh for Aludan’s sake,” he muttered in between bouts of hilarity. With great restraint that would have done his House proud, Merrick reigned in his mirth and looked at Zach.
“Zach,” he said again, even slower, “when you say ‘date’, you mean like going to dinner just the two of us?”
“Yes.”
“Or maybe shows and carnivals and concerts?”
“Presumably.”
“Maybe you even mean kicking third rate villain arse together for a change of pace?”
Zach’s frown got deeper. “Is there a point to this? And yes.”
Merrick reminded himself that he’d voluntarily chosen to befriend the most awkward boy on the planet. “Zach, we’ve been dating for two months now.”
“No we haven’t,” Zach denied, immediate and definite.
Caffeine would have made this conversation so much easier, Merrick mourned. “Yes, we have. Try to think back to, oh, last week. Or the week before.”
Merrick could pinpoint the moment Zach got it; something like surprise came over his face. Merrick wished he could have taken a photo of it then send it to his parents back home. It was hard to surprise someone who could see the future, but Merrick had always been a high achiever. “Oh,” Zach said quietly, that one syllable full of something a lot like wonder. It lasted for all of a second, then he was back with, “you never kissed me. Unless the internet lied to me about that. That is entirely possible.”
“Zach, what kind of websites did you look up?” Merrick asked, hurriedly continuing because truth be told, he didn’t actually want to know. “Never mind. And the answer is, I tried but you kept moving away. I thought you were just embarrassed or something. Your terran moralities confuse me. And by the way, we don’t have a word for homosexual because we don't really care.”
“Interesting. And my apologies. I thought you were just being very friendly. I’m very oblivious,” Zach offered. It was said in such a straightforward, inimitable Zach way that Merrick had to laugh, burying the sound in Zach’s shoulder.
“And I’m supposed to be the alien one,” Merrick said moments later, snickers occasionally escaping him.
Zach made a sound of agreement, slouching down further in the seat until they were a comfortable pile of limbs and torsos, supporting each other.
It was five in the morning, Merrick was still caffeine-less, and it turned out his supervillain boyfriend hadn’t even known they were boyfriends, which was all manners of suck except the good kind. Despite that, it was still going on the list of best mornings ever, fifth place at least.
It moved to first when Zach kissed him, all dry lips and warmth. And tasting of caffeine.