Under way...
So it seems things are under way but maybe not as fast or in the manner in which I had hoped it would be. I'm not sure why I had expected anything less. :)
I met with Donyale my therapist on Saturday and we caught up as best we could with in an hours time about 7 months past. In the end she let me know she couldn't support me in the process of coming off my meds at this time. I was not happy to hear those words come out of her but I expected it in all honesty. She is not telling me she will never support my decision to try and come off everything but she feels at this time it isn't right. We're going to work on getting me more level than I am now and gathering up support group. I've got the most stable home I've had in longer than I can recall and that is a huge starting point. Now if I left home and actually saw friends and did something other than play house girlfriend I'll start to do better.
Step 1: Today I called our local library to see if they have any volunteer opportunities. I'm hoping they do, if not I can try the one a few miles down the road in another town. The goal in this is is to break me in slowly to being around people again and not panicking. It'll get me out of the house a few days a week and then I'm not overwhelmed with needing to be somewhere a huge amount of hours. The final goal is that I have so many nights a week I don't sleep that I can't always function in the morning or get up early because I need to try and get some more rest. With out enough rest in a night and too many days in a row I have emotional break downs. So it they are maybe late mornings and just a few days it will work for a while. Right now a job is still not in my future. Which is KILLING me!
I know this doesn't read all smooth and nice, but I just need to get the thoughts out when I'm having them.
** If you're a FB reading who is not a LJ user and want to comment. Just leave your name in comments so I know who it is when I respond. :) Thanks.
I met with Donyale my therapist on Saturday and we caught up as best we could with in an hours time about 7 months past. In the end she let me know she couldn't support me in the process of coming off my meds at this time. I was not happy to hear those words come out of her but I expected it in all honesty. She is not telling me she will never support my decision to try and come off everything but she feels at this time it isn't right. We're going to work on getting me more level than I am now and gathering up support group. I've got the most stable home I've had in longer than I can recall and that is a huge starting point. Now if I left home and actually saw friends and did something other than play house girlfriend I'll start to do better.
Step 1: Today I called our local library to see if they have any volunteer opportunities. I'm hoping they do, if not I can try the one a few miles down the road in another town. The goal in this is is to break me in slowly to being around people again and not panicking. It'll get me out of the house a few days a week and then I'm not overwhelmed with needing to be somewhere a huge amount of hours. The final goal is that I have so many nights a week I don't sleep that I can't always function in the morning or get up early because I need to try and get some more rest. With out enough rest in a night and too many days in a row I have emotional break downs. So it they are maybe late mornings and just a few days it will work for a while. Right now a job is still not in my future. Which is KILLING me!
I know this doesn't read all smooth and nice, but I just need to get the thoughts out when I'm having them.
** If you're a FB reading who is not a LJ user and want to comment. Just leave your name in comments so I know who it is when I respond. :) Thanks.