Things...
This past weekend was really hard for me emotionally and although yesterday was good, today is a little rough. I guess I want to understand what happened and get a clear idea if my depression is really as bad as he said or was the whole thing over long before it ended and that is all it was. I don't want to be a nut bag and lost out in mental space. I have amazing friends and I wonder if they see the same things he did. I don't know. This isn't a wanting him back thing or any of that, it is a trying to figure it all out thing.
We are still no where ready for a bed to be delivered this weekend at my moms house. That makes me a little nervous and the other thing is that for the last two days my chest has been tight. Getting a tiny bit worse each time. *sigh* I maybe having an issue with the cats, if I am, what do I do now? I have no other place to go and can't afford my own place at this point. My health needs to come first and I know this, but at the same time my hands are tied. I've been doing great for almost two years and this possiblity scares me. I can't go through that again. *head desk*
I'm angry, I'm sad, I'm scared and really frustrated. I'm feeling like a failure having messed up another relationship and fear I'll be like my mother in the end.
GRRRRRRRRRR.....thanks for reading, I just needed a place to get the crap thoughts out. Other wise they eat me alive.
We are still no where ready for a bed to be delivered this weekend at my moms house. That makes me a little nervous and the other thing is that for the last two days my chest has been tight. Getting a tiny bit worse each time. *sigh* I maybe having an issue with the cats, if I am, what do I do now? I have no other place to go and can't afford my own place at this point. My health needs to come first and I know this, but at the same time my hands are tied. I've been doing great for almost two years and this possiblity scares me. I can't go through that again. *head desk*
I'm angry, I'm sad, I'm scared and really frustrated. I'm feeling like a failure having messed up another relationship and fear I'll be like my mother in the end.
GRRRRRRRRRR.....thanks for reading, I just needed a place to get the crap thoughts out. Other wise they eat me alive.