(no subject)
i don't have anything to do for valentine's day.
and i think for the first year ever, i'm actually ok with that. ok so yeah it would be nice to be with someone cool, but i'm definitely definitely not ready for that.
i think that all around i need to feel better about myself and my life before i give my time to someone else. i'm sappy. i don't care.
my life is bad. and please don't give me sympathy comments. i don't want them. i'm just stating a fact. i'm so utterly depressed all the time. it's like even when i'm having a great time, i'm just so sad.
and i realized today that i'm angry. i don't know who or what at, but i'm just angry. so horribly angry. sometimes i just want to punch someone in the face.
does anyone remember when i used to yell at people, while i was driving, just to make you guys laugh? well now i actually yell at them. and scream. and give the finger. and beep loudly and stare them down. even if they haven't done very much wrong at all. and that's just one example of how irrationally angry i get.
i wish that i could just have a few days off where i could just sit and wallow and not have to worry about what i have to do that day or where i need to go next.
i want to be alone, but i want to be with people at the same time. maybe part of why i feel so sad is because i don't have any people to share everything with.
i just want this to stop. i want to feel the way i did before. i don't want to be like this anymore.
i wish i had something to escape to.
and i think for the first year ever, i'm actually ok with that. ok so yeah it would be nice to be with someone cool, but i'm definitely definitely not ready for that.
i think that all around i need to feel better about myself and my life before i give my time to someone else. i'm sappy. i don't care.
my life is bad. and please don't give me sympathy comments. i don't want them. i'm just stating a fact. i'm so utterly depressed all the time. it's like even when i'm having a great time, i'm just so sad.
and i realized today that i'm angry. i don't know who or what at, but i'm just angry. so horribly angry. sometimes i just want to punch someone in the face.
does anyone remember when i used to yell at people, while i was driving, just to make you guys laugh? well now i actually yell at them. and scream. and give the finger. and beep loudly and stare them down. even if they haven't done very much wrong at all. and that's just one example of how irrationally angry i get.
i wish that i could just have a few days off where i could just sit and wallow and not have to worry about what i have to do that day or where i need to go next.
i want to be alone, but i want to be with people at the same time. maybe part of why i feel so sad is because i don't have any people to share everything with.
i just want this to stop. i want to feel the way i did before. i don't want to be like this anymore.
i wish i had something to escape to.