indeed.
I'm done with people telling me what to do and how to act. I've quit drinking and smoking pot, and I'm weening myself off of cigarettes. I am so sick of the poison in my life, I'm cutting it out. Mental poison and physical poison. So I'm also eliminating people who don't repsect me. This includes one of my former close friends. I'm not sorry, for the first time in my life I am feeling strong and empowered. When I've rid myself of all the bad things in my life, unnatural and unwanted things, I will be worthy of thinking f myself as I did before, like an independent, smart person. Among other things, I need to quit cutting (again, for good this time) and get out of Nebraska. I need to focus on me, and I'm not moving out of my house in August. When I do move out, it will be to LA. I plan to do that by the next Spring. I feel focused and a change is needed in my life. More desperately than I've needed anything, I need a change. A permanent one. I'm undergoing an intense emotional makeover.
I feel like I've always been a little older in my head than most people my age, and now I feel like I'm acting it. I need to get away from this immature bullshit. I need to get away from Nebraska. I'm so sick of being here and running into these bullshit people from highschool. I need to meet new people. I need to meet someone who has the courage and conviction to be who they are. Someone who can rise over the brainwashing we've been exposed to since birth.
Just because I am a woman, and a lesbian, I see no reason why I should "shut my mouth and take it." My days of obeying blindly are over. I will never again keep my mouth closed when people do something I don't agree with. Don't you ever again dare to tell me to shut up. Not ever. I doubt you'll be able to because I'm done with your bullshit. It's over. I'm not sorry. It's you, not me.
I realize by doing this I may be alienating some of my other friends, but that's something I'll deal with. I deserve better than people who would stop being friends with me just because I'm not friends with one of their friends either. I'm very much looking forward to putting all this behind me.
I feel like I've always been a little older in my head than most people my age, and now I feel like I'm acting it. I need to get away from this immature bullshit. I need to get away from Nebraska. I'm so sick of being here and running into these bullshit people from highschool. I need to meet new people. I need to meet someone who has the courage and conviction to be who they are. Someone who can rise over the brainwashing we've been exposed to since birth.
Just because I am a woman, and a lesbian, I see no reason why I should "shut my mouth and take it." My days of obeying blindly are over. I will never again keep my mouth closed when people do something I don't agree with. Don't you ever again dare to tell me to shut up. Not ever. I doubt you'll be able to because I'm done with your bullshit. It's over. I'm not sorry. It's you, not me.
I realize by doing this I may be alienating some of my other friends, but that's something I'll deal with. I deserve better than people who would stop being friends with me just because I'm not friends with one of their friends either. I'm very much looking forward to putting all this behind me.