(no subject)
I can't go to sleep and I have to get up at 7:30. I tossed and turned in bed for around an hour and a half. I just couldn't stop thinking about things. I thought about how I'm going to St. Louis in less than two months, girls, poker, sports, food, etc. The works, basically. After falling out of my bed in pure frustration, I put on my contacts and went downstairs to the computer room, where I obviously am now.
I went to the library today and borrowed four books. I already finished one and have started another. The book I finished was a memoir called True Notebooks by a writer who taught a writing class for a year. His students weren't typical, however; hey were kids in Juvenile Hall. I'd read a piece in Slate by the author a while back on his experience teaching the class, so when I came across the book at the library, I immediately picked it up. I thought the book was really touching. A good deal of the kids' works were put in the book. Oftentimes, they wrote about despair and the other horrible feelings they experience due to imprisonment. Reading their pieces made me glad that I've got the freedom I do. The book made me realize the sheer power and value of writing. It can be free therapy and, at its best, it can also touch others' lives. I wish I was better at writing. I should write a fictional story soon.
I still need to get a job (I need money). I don't think I'm going to get one with this little time.
I took a guitar lesson a few days ago. The guy tried to teach me power chords, but my fingers aren't accustomed enough. It'll come, I guess. David's been taking guitar lesson from this guy for months now. David was in Montana two days ago, so I took his usual guitar lesson in his place. It was fun. It was the first time I'd taken a music lesson in over six months.
I wish I still believed in God. I don't don't believe in God, but I don't believe. Life would be a lot easier if I did. Acceptance is pretty hard, though. There's just too much shit going on in the world. However, I don't agree with the atheistic "argument from evil" in which the question "How can there be evil in a world presided over by an all-powerful and all-good being?" is posed. I think there's something to be said about free will and the choice Adam makes in the Garden of Eden. But then again, how could God know the future if we truly have free will? Free will's an interesting concept. You know what scares me, though? Parallel universes. They freak me out to no end. I hate the idea so much. If there truly are an infinite number of parallel universes, that means we never deviate from any forks in any path. If parallel universes do exist, in one, you are Mother Theresa, Martin Luther King Jr., and Jesus Christ all rolled into one. But in another, you are an evil dictator who's ruthlessly killed more people than Hitler ever did. The problem with parallel universes is that they basically destroy the idea of free will. Because you, the multiple yous, have taken every choice possible. So how could there be free will if versions of us have done everything? Worse, I think parallel universes completely kill Christianity or our current perception of it. Judas is Jesus in one parallel universe. Jesus called down angels from heaven to free him from the cross. Jesus succumbed to the devil's temptations in the desert. But who knows. Perhaps Jesus and the crucifixion is the one constant in all the universes. Wouldn't that be interesting? Based on my very limited understanding of current theory though, that seems extremely unlikely. I think the most troubling thing about parallel universes is that I don't see how Heaven and Hell could work. Unless there are multiple Heavens and Hells. Holy shit. I should really go back to bed. I'm never going to bed at this rate.
I'm too much of a wuss to pick up the phone and call. I should. But what should I say? Damn. I wish I was the kind of guy who had all the words at all the right times. She's going to the East Coast extremely soon, or is already there. Man. I don't know. I just really feel like hooking up with somebody, really anyone, right now. It's not because seeing everyone else hooked up has made me want to hook up. (All these relationships actually piss me off because playing the third wheel sucks, which is the main reason why I stopped hanging out with couples.) It's feeling lonely and alone that's made me want to hook up. But I know those aren't the right conditions for a healthy relationship. It's just that this can be so hard sometimes. Gearing up for leaving. But I guess having someone would make it even harder to leave. I don't know. I'm just confused.
This shit's hilarious! A female dolphin president, lol. What a riot.
I went to the library today and borrowed four books. I already finished one and have started another. The book I finished was a memoir called True Notebooks by a writer who taught a writing class for a year. His students weren't typical, however; hey were kids in Juvenile Hall. I'd read a piece in Slate by the author a while back on his experience teaching the class, so when I came across the book at the library, I immediately picked it up. I thought the book was really touching. A good deal of the kids' works were put in the book. Oftentimes, they wrote about despair and the other horrible feelings they experience due to imprisonment. Reading their pieces made me glad that I've got the freedom I do. The book made me realize the sheer power and value of writing. It can be free therapy and, at its best, it can also touch others' lives. I wish I was better at writing. I should write a fictional story soon.
I still need to get a job (I need money). I don't think I'm going to get one with this little time.
I took a guitar lesson a few days ago. The guy tried to teach me power chords, but my fingers aren't accustomed enough. It'll come, I guess. David's been taking guitar lesson from this guy for months now. David was in Montana two days ago, so I took his usual guitar lesson in his place. It was fun. It was the first time I'd taken a music lesson in over six months.
I wish I still believed in God. I don't don't believe in God, but I don't believe. Life would be a lot easier if I did. Acceptance is pretty hard, though. There's just too much shit going on in the world. However, I don't agree with the atheistic "argument from evil" in which the question "How can there be evil in a world presided over by an all-powerful and all-good being?" is posed. I think there's something to be said about free will and the choice Adam makes in the Garden of Eden. But then again, how could God know the future if we truly have free will? Free will's an interesting concept. You know what scares me, though? Parallel universes. They freak me out to no end. I hate the idea so much. If there truly are an infinite number of parallel universes, that means we never deviate from any forks in any path. If parallel universes do exist, in one, you are Mother Theresa, Martin Luther King Jr., and Jesus Christ all rolled into one. But in another, you are an evil dictator who's ruthlessly killed more people than Hitler ever did. The problem with parallel universes is that they basically destroy the idea of free will. Because you, the multiple yous, have taken every choice possible. So how could there be free will if versions of us have done everything? Worse, I think parallel universes completely kill Christianity or our current perception of it. Judas is Jesus in one parallel universe. Jesus called down angels from heaven to free him from the cross. Jesus succumbed to the devil's temptations in the desert. But who knows. Perhaps Jesus and the crucifixion is the one constant in all the universes. Wouldn't that be interesting? Based on my very limited understanding of current theory though, that seems extremely unlikely. I think the most troubling thing about parallel universes is that I don't see how Heaven and Hell could work. Unless there are multiple Heavens and Hells. Holy shit. I should really go back to bed. I'm never going to bed at this rate.
I'm too much of a wuss to pick up the phone and call. I should. But what should I say? Damn. I wish I was the kind of guy who had all the words at all the right times. She's going to the East Coast extremely soon, or is already there. Man. I don't know. I just really feel like hooking up with somebody, really anyone, right now. It's not because seeing everyone else hooked up has made me want to hook up. (All these relationships actually piss me off because playing the third wheel sucks, which is the main reason why I stopped hanging out with couples.) It's feeling lonely and alone that's made me want to hook up. But I know those aren't the right conditions for a healthy relationship. It's just that this can be so hard sometimes. Gearing up for leaving. But I guess having someone would make it even harder to leave. I don't know. I'm just confused.
This shit's hilarious! A female dolphin president, lol. What a riot.