(no subject)
This morning, I was greeted with an email saying "ya know, a lot of us really miss the cynical, sarcastic, witty asshole Daniela. When is she coming back and why are you so nice lately?"
I considered this immensely. Yes, my sense of humor is best when dry, sarcastic and mean. Yes, a lot of people (mostly females) do not appreciate my humor because they get offended. Hold your horses Tonto, I'm not being sexist. But I think because lately, aside from silly stress that can be resolved rather easily, I have nothing to be cynical about. While I do appreciate being missed and that people actually find me humorous, I must say that I like being nice and in a good mood. I also contend that those I hang out with regularly and know me well will agree that I'm still pretty sarcastic and can really be an asshole when I feel like it. Just ask Brian what I said about "taking one in each color" while at the fair. I also think that my conscience has gotten to me a lot more than it used to. For instance, after I made the above joke at the fair, I immediately felt bad. Of course I laughed because, well I'm funny, but I still felt like a dick.
Today I got a spam e-mail that I didn't read, but the subject was "where were you 10 years ago when Princess Diana died." Seriously, I was at Shannon Rutherford's mom's house. I spent the night there. I was sitting in her big green chair in the basement because I usually slept there due it's high comfort level. I was wearing a white t shirt and purple shorts eating Cinnamon Toast Crunch. No. Seriously. It's funny how our memories can sometimes be photographic. It took me no time to recall that exact situation. Not that I have some kind of infatuation with Princess Di, but Shannon's mom did. She was crying hysterically. I asked for more cereal.
It's also funny how much things can change. From 7th to 11th grade, Shannon and I were literally attached. I called her parents mom and dad and she did the same with mine. She told me I was going to be the maid of honor in her wedding. We did everything together and I honestly thought she would be my best friend for the rest of my life. Then one of our other friends that was admittedly jealous of how close Shannon and I were started saying very untrue, hurtful things to Shannon claiming that I said them. Thus began a fight between the three of us that last half of my junior year and ultimately led to the demise of our friendship. I don't even know what Shannon is doing with her life anymore. Once in a great while we'll call each other to see what's going on, but I haven't spoken to her in over a year. This also began my huge issue with trust and is the reason why I choose not to let many of my friends get too close to me.
I'm procrastinating when I shouldn't be. I'm really good at that.
I also ramble. How do I even start talking about some of these things?