Attack of the bad!sex
So I'm reading this fic. It's not the best fic I've ever read, but it's not bad. The writing & characterization are decent and the plot is pretty interesting. There's several sex scenes and, while they aren't the hottest sex scenes I've never read, they are perfectly good sex scenes. Until I get to the one in the second to last chapter. It starts off perfectly fine and the all the sudden it's attack of the inexplicable purple prose and horrid descriptors.
Some highlights:
The cockhead was a spongy bulb that oozed eagerly at him as he brought it into his oral hangar, and clamped on tight to the human dirigible of manhood
felt the first, gentle, warm pressure of the cockhead against his anus. It was like his butt had become an open manhole
his bowels gave a gurgle and a slip and suddenly everything fit. Now the long schlong slid in and out and this time, there was no pain.
Now the gentle strokes were plying along his innards and turning him into seething gelatin puree
The wiggle from side-to-side was like a pinball bouncing on diodes of pleasure, the slow curving thrust was a piñata of ecstasy swaying in the breeze, the sharp hunches were a staccato rhythm of delirious desire, and he was going...totally...insane!
he was climbing the peaks without his trusty staff of potency, he was ascending the steppes of boiling bliss without the aid of his pole of power
Oh my god, where did this come from?! Nothing else in all the preceding chapters of this fic was written like this. Was the author experiencing a brief drug problem? Did the bad!sex aliens attack him while he was writing this one scene? I know not.
Other recent adventures in bad fic:
So I'm reading a Star Trek fic. It's not a particularly good fic, but it's not terrible and the plot is just amusing enough for me to keep reading. All is fine and dandy until it suddenly turns into attack of the heinous Mary Sue. There's an OC, a child who's been genetically engineered to have the best characteristics of his parents. He's a bit of a genius, but nothing too bad until suddenly he's taking the Academy Command Tests, specifically the Kobayashi Maru. WHICH HE PASSES. WITHOUT CHEATING. AT AGE SIX.
Yeah, I quit reading right there.
In other news, my silentlikestone fic sucks balls. Am contemplating total rewrite.
Some highlights:
The cockhead was a spongy bulb that oozed eagerly at him as he brought it into his oral hangar, and clamped on tight to the human dirigible of manhood
felt the first, gentle, warm pressure of the cockhead against his anus. It was like his butt had become an open manhole
his bowels gave a gurgle and a slip and suddenly everything fit. Now the long schlong slid in and out and this time, there was no pain.
Now the gentle strokes were plying along his innards and turning him into seething gelatin puree
The wiggle from side-to-side was like a pinball bouncing on diodes of pleasure, the slow curving thrust was a piñata of ecstasy swaying in the breeze, the sharp hunches were a staccato rhythm of delirious desire, and he was going...totally...insane!
he was climbing the peaks without his trusty staff of potency, he was ascending the steppes of boiling bliss without the aid of his pole of power
Oh my god, where did this come from?! Nothing else in all the preceding chapters of this fic was written like this. Was the author experiencing a brief drug problem? Did the bad!sex aliens attack him while he was writing this one scene? I know not.
Other recent adventures in bad fic:
So I'm reading a Star Trek fic. It's not a particularly good fic, but it's not terrible and the plot is just amusing enough for me to keep reading. All is fine and dandy until it suddenly turns into attack of the heinous Mary Sue. There's an OC, a child who's been genetically engineered to have the best characteristics of his parents. He's a bit of a genius, but nothing too bad until suddenly he's taking the Academy Command Tests, specifically the Kobayashi Maru. WHICH HE PASSES. WITHOUT CHEATING. AT AGE SIX.
Yeah, I quit reading right there.
In other news, my silentlikestone fic sucks balls. Am contemplating total rewrite.