Maybe if I Don't Think About It

[summer_melody]

Still the things won't go away. But I think my head makes them much worst than they are. My head can spin thoughts in superludicrous speed and brew all these nasty worries.

I feel so dead right now.

I find I have a problem living for myself. I don't want to live. I look at the world and see nothing. Nothing worth living for. I just don't trust anybody anymore. When I am sad that is.

I'm serious. This has become a annoying problem: Not wanting to live.

I don't find college very interesting. I think it'll be ok. I guess I lost my desire to learn too. I don't care what I look like. I don't care about the clothes I wear. I've determined that I'll never be open w/ my family. We are too unalike.

There seems to be no mystery in the world anymore.

Okokokok...I just need to breath and think about what is fun. Mrs. Haas said there is tons of great things in life. Somehow I feel suffocated that I can't do those things or...that those things just don't matter. It's like my life has been flooded w/ terrible things that I have been powerless over and all I want is for those things to go away so I can live a little. They won't go away so I dont' care about anything.

Oh, this makes no sense. I just need to go out and look positively at life. Ok...bye.