Time for a real update
So I haven't really updated since the end of the semester, and I decided that it is time for the real deal.
Graduation-> Fantastic! Well, sort of. The ceremony lasted 2 hours and 20 minutes. That part wasn't so great, but knowing that undergrad is over can't be matched. I finally have a piece of paper that shows employers that I am worth more than $10.50 an hour :) It has made Staples much more frustrating. I have a college degree, and I am still working at my dead-end high school job. Go figure. I didn't spend $40,000+ to work at Staples for the rest of my life. However, it is starting to seem like it since I have been there almost 7 years.
Josh and Cynthia's Wedding-> Absolutely fantastic. There didn't appear to be any moments of cold feet. Perhaps a little anxiety, but nothing out of the ordinary. The weather was beautiful. Pictures were fun. I wasn't ready to kill anyone by the end of the weekend. It was fantastic to see friends. (It was also fantastic to not be at work) I am so happy for the two of them. I caught the bouquet. I don't know why I keep going for them. I have no intention of getting married any time soon. Nor do I believe that I will because I am not in that place yet. I guess I have fun ripping the bouquet out of the flower girl's hands. It was so sweet to see Josh and Cynthia so happy. They were in the moment and loving it. I hope that I find that happiness... some day... not soon... way far off.... maybe in 10 years when I am ready to settle down.... if I am ready to settle down.... ok, so maybe 15 years... too much anxiety, must stop thinking about it...
Inevitable ending-> Dating with an ending date... well, it sucks... It sucks a whole lot. BUT... I am glad that I have it. I mean, I would rather go through the beginning of these difficult changes with someone by my side cheering me on. Especially with all of these changes being so scary. We both know that when I get on the plane to Kosova, that is it. So, we are just trying to enjoy the time we have while we have it. If it were just Kosova, things would be different. 8 weeks isn't all that long. At least, it is doable. I will be out of Ohio for 5 months. I won't be back until November for Thanksgiving. That is just too long. And perhaps if this had all started sooner, maybe some sacrifices would be worth making. It is too early in the game to know if those sacrifices would be worthwhile. So I am happy right now, even knowing that it will be over very soon...
Kosova-> Only one thing to say... I leave in 20 days, and I am terrified...
Chicago-> I am scared about Chicago... Mostly worried about getting a place and affording it... I am not scared for grad school. I am not scared about living in a big city. I am not too excited about living by myself, but that isn't a certainty. I think I am ready for the big change. I think the anxiety is coming on because of Kosova.
Live in general is pretty stressful right now. I have a lot to be excited about. Big things are finally happening for me. I have to pack my entire life in the next 20 days because my flight home from Kosova drops me in Chicago. No coming home. Mom is meeting me in Chicago with the part of my life that doesn't make it to Kosova with me. I also have my graduation party with Patti on the 31st. I suppose it is time to actually celebrate, but, of course, I am afraid that I will be worrying about Kosova.
Ok, I think that is a satisfactory update for now. I will try to keep updating. Hope all is well :)
Peace out friends,
Summer
Graduation-> Fantastic! Well, sort of. The ceremony lasted 2 hours and 20 minutes. That part wasn't so great, but knowing that undergrad is over can't be matched. I finally have a piece of paper that shows employers that I am worth more than $10.50 an hour :) It has made Staples much more frustrating. I have a college degree, and I am still working at my dead-end high school job. Go figure. I didn't spend $40,000+ to work at Staples for the rest of my life. However, it is starting to seem like it since I have been there almost 7 years.
Josh and Cynthia's Wedding-> Absolutely fantastic. There didn't appear to be any moments of cold feet. Perhaps a little anxiety, but nothing out of the ordinary. The weather was beautiful. Pictures were fun. I wasn't ready to kill anyone by the end of the weekend. It was fantastic to see friends. (It was also fantastic to not be at work) I am so happy for the two of them. I caught the bouquet. I don't know why I keep going for them. I have no intention of getting married any time soon. Nor do I believe that I will because I am not in that place yet. I guess I have fun ripping the bouquet out of the flower girl's hands. It was so sweet to see Josh and Cynthia so happy. They were in the moment and loving it. I hope that I find that happiness... some day... not soon... way far off.... maybe in 10 years when I am ready to settle down.... if I am ready to settle down.... ok, so maybe 15 years... too much anxiety, must stop thinking about it...
Inevitable ending-> Dating with an ending date... well, it sucks... It sucks a whole lot. BUT... I am glad that I have it. I mean, I would rather go through the beginning of these difficult changes with someone by my side cheering me on. Especially with all of these changes being so scary. We both know that when I get on the plane to Kosova, that is it. So, we are just trying to enjoy the time we have while we have it. If it were just Kosova, things would be different. 8 weeks isn't all that long. At least, it is doable. I will be out of Ohio for 5 months. I won't be back until November for Thanksgiving. That is just too long. And perhaps if this had all started sooner, maybe some sacrifices would be worth making. It is too early in the game to know if those sacrifices would be worthwhile. So I am happy right now, even knowing that it will be over very soon...
Kosova-> Only one thing to say... I leave in 20 days, and I am terrified...
Chicago-> I am scared about Chicago... Mostly worried about getting a place and affording it... I am not scared for grad school. I am not scared about living in a big city. I am not too excited about living by myself, but that isn't a certainty. I think I am ready for the big change. I think the anxiety is coming on because of Kosova.
Live in general is pretty stressful right now. I have a lot to be excited about. Big things are finally happening for me. I have to pack my entire life in the next 20 days because my flight home from Kosova drops me in Chicago. No coming home. Mom is meeting me in Chicago with the part of my life that doesn't make it to Kosova with me. I also have my graduation party with Patti on the 31st. I suppose it is time to actually celebrate, but, of course, I am afraid that I will be worrying about Kosova.
Ok, I think that is a satisfactory update for now. I will try to keep updating. Hope all is well :)
Peace out friends,
Summer