"Don't get her started!! ...See what you did, Lawrence?!?!"
My hands are shaking...tiny tremors are making it impossible to keep them still. I just want to cry a lot...I don't even know whats wrong with me...keeping horrible things to myself...but I can't even try to share them cause I don't know what they are...and I don't think some people would understand the warped twisted meanings of my feelings...
Just tired...heart is breaking...head is hurting...feet are aching...mind is spinning...thoughts are lacking...body's cold...lonely for companionship...lacking social interaction that means something...wanting to feel loved and appreciated...hating being a bitch...
Saturday will be my salvation...the mall is my haven and Kat is my confidant...I will not let our plans be foiled...
I miss Jossan...It's so hard to know what to do without her around...my morals have serioulsy taken a turn for the worse since she's left. I miss our crazy heart-to heart talks at one in the morning while making double chocolate brownies that were way to deep to actually come from us. It was the lack of sleep and the brownie mix...but...I miss that so much...I don't think I'll ever see her again...thats how I feel...she's so very far away and we can't scrape enough money together for at least one ticket so I can go to Japan...it'll probably never happen.
That's all for tonight...dreading school tomorrow. Rehearsals went very well however...we only rehearsed for half an hour. Carl was so surprised that we did so well on the first run in a week that he only tweaked a few things and said that we could go.
I have to go cut things out of my various random collection of articles and newspapers...
Soliloquy
Just tired...heart is breaking...head is hurting...feet are aching...mind is spinning...thoughts are lacking...body's cold...lonely for companionship...lacking social interaction that means something...wanting to feel loved and appreciated...hating being a bitch...
Saturday will be my salvation...the mall is my haven and Kat is my confidant...I will not let our plans be foiled...
I miss Jossan...It's so hard to know what to do without her around...my morals have serioulsy taken a turn for the worse since she's left. I miss our crazy heart-to heart talks at one in the morning while making double chocolate brownies that were way to deep to actually come from us. It was the lack of sleep and the brownie mix...but...I miss that so much...I don't think I'll ever see her again...thats how I feel...she's so very far away and we can't scrape enough money together for at least one ticket so I can go to Japan...it'll probably never happen.
That's all for tonight...dreading school tomorrow. Rehearsals went very well however...we only rehearsed for half an hour. Carl was so surprised that we did so well on the first run in a week that he only tweaked a few things and said that we could go.
I have to go cut things out of my various random collection of articles and newspapers...
Soliloquy