I Am Straight. And I Want to Take His Place.
Things have been pretty good. All in all, things have really worked out for me. The only piece left of the overwhelming sadness that used to define me is the lack of motivation. Which I'm working on. I don't feel as depressed as I did. I don't feel as anxious or worried constantly. I do, however, imagine the ways to make my life more interesting and memorable more than I actually act on these ideas. This turns into frustration with myself a lot, but I'm actively planning how to change this. As a result, the former sentence should be omitted. Lists! Let's make some lists. (I'm glad I'm practically the only one who uses their live journal anymore so I can get away with this garbage!)
Random:
1. What happened to the music in your life? New voices, new memorable lyrics, new drum solos that give you chills. I used to decide if I liked a group or song based on whether or not I could see it as a soundtrack of sorts to my life. Like right now. I'm listening to Modern Lovers, an older group I just discovered, and it fits perfectly to how I'm feeling right now. Thus, I'm a fan of their music. Now Playing: Modern Lovers - "Dignified and Old" and "Astral Plain". It just fits. Or The Black Keys. Good schtuff.
2. I'm really enjoying the new friend scenery I have going on. I always have and always will enjoy and adore my Midwest City Bitches. But we call them "The Bitches" for a reason. Robin, Tony and I have sort of created a new little group to enjoy on the weekends. Let's see... Lauren and Moe, Brandon and Chas, Angel and Joel, Brain Zero, Tommy Switch... It feels like grade school when you first get to the big new school and don't know anyone. Only the nicest and most sincere stick their hand out and offer you something to do on the weekends. That's what it feels like now that OKC is my stomping ground. For a long time I just rode Tony or Robin's coat tails and hoped someone was bold enough to strike up a conversation with me, since I was too shy to take the initiative myself. It feels good to feel like I have friends out here now.
3. I'm aspiring to become an optimist. When you look at it all in a broad view, there are two types of people: The Uppers and The Downers. If only we could all decide to try and look at the brighter side. Hard, but totally do-able.
4. I'm going to start going more places and doing more things. Robin, Alisa and I went to Lawton about a month ago and went to the mountains. Well, the closest thing Oklahoma has to offer anyway. We are going to start doing more spontaneous things like that.
In the next year:
1. Get back into school.
2. Find a job that I enjoy.
3. Lose weight.
4. Reinstall yoga into my life. If not, I'd welcome any kind of exercise.
5. Go to the zoo.
6. Have a life plan.
7. Re-evaluate my friends. To scared to get around to it at this point.
8. Make more time for the true friends.
9. Force myself into becoming a more tidy person.
10. Make it my mission: 2009 will be better. I'm 24. I'm getting older. Time to kick-start the best years of my life.
Random:
1. What happened to the music in your life? New voices, new memorable lyrics, new drum solos that give you chills. I used to decide if I liked a group or song based on whether or not I could see it as a soundtrack of sorts to my life. Like right now. I'm listening to Modern Lovers, an older group I just discovered, and it fits perfectly to how I'm feeling right now. Thus, I'm a fan of their music. Now Playing: Modern Lovers - "Dignified and Old" and "Astral Plain". It just fits. Or The Black Keys. Good schtuff.
2. I'm really enjoying the new friend scenery I have going on. I always have and always will enjoy and adore my Midwest City Bitches. But we call them "The Bitches" for a reason. Robin, Tony and I have sort of created a new little group to enjoy on the weekends. Let's see... Lauren and Moe, Brandon and Chas, Angel and Joel, Brain Zero, Tommy Switch... It feels like grade school when you first get to the big new school and don't know anyone. Only the nicest and most sincere stick their hand out and offer you something to do on the weekends. That's what it feels like now that OKC is my stomping ground. For a long time I just rode Tony or Robin's coat tails and hoped someone was bold enough to strike up a conversation with me, since I was too shy to take the initiative myself. It feels good to feel like I have friends out here now.
3. I'm aspiring to become an optimist. When you look at it all in a broad view, there are two types of people: The Uppers and The Downers. If only we could all decide to try and look at the brighter side. Hard, but totally do-able.
4. I'm going to start going more places and doing more things. Robin, Alisa and I went to Lawton about a month ago and went to the mountains. Well, the closest thing Oklahoma has to offer anyway. We are going to start doing more spontaneous things like that.
In the next year:
1. Get back into school.
2. Find a job that I enjoy.
3. Lose weight.
4. Reinstall yoga into my life. If not, I'd welcome any kind of exercise.
5. Go to the zoo.
6. Have a life plan.
7. Re-evaluate my friends. To scared to get around to it at this point.
8. Make more time for the true friends.
9. Force myself into becoming a more tidy person.
10. Make it my mission: 2009 will be better. I'm 24. I'm getting older. Time to kick-start the best years of my life.