[fic] Teenage Dream
Title: Teenage Dream
Genre: romance/humour/fluff
Chapters: 5/?
Rating: R
Pairings: YunJae/JunChun
Summary: Yunho's young and eager. Yunho's too young and too eager for Jaejoong
a/n: I'm mean
'Omg I love Japan. Let's go!' Junsu cheers when Jaejoong tries to stop the disgust spreading on his face.
'I don't think you're invited' he says, collecting the now empty jars off the table before he stops and inspects the damage, 'just like you're banned from my house' he looks at his friend accusingly.
'But Jae'
'Now you sound like Yunho'
'Oh, do I kinky baby? Is your mind making these connections? Do you feel things for me? I won't deny you, flower boy' Junsu winks at him as he wiggles his eyebrows and all Jaejoong can do is laugh. He wants to be mad because Junsu made a mess out of his living room but the younger's really good at lifting his otherwise foul mood so all is forgiven. He loves him immensely and they would make a perfect couple if only-
'Yunho must have one big dick if you're that smitten with him'
That. Jaejoong snorts in reply because Junsu is basic. He says exactly what he thinks and they just don't match at all. The younger doesn't feel bothered by his ignorance, though, and grabs the remote, switching on the TV.
'But are you really going?' he asks, switching through the channels mindlessly, 'I mean, it's one thing to agree on a date but a completely different one to go over to Japan for sushi, right?'
Right. Jaejoong nods and bites his lip. He knows the answer because he's already decided to go but he finds it hard to admit.
'Do I have a choice?' he asks instead and Junsu throws up his hands in mock surprise, giving him a look which translates into a very sassy gurl, please.
'Of course you have a choice, Jae. DUH. It is not an obligation and you're a grown ass man and, by the way, you're being led around by a teenager. You know that, right?'
Right. Jaejoong knows that but-
'What do you even know,' he waves him off, starting to collect the empty bags littering his table, 'you're a twenty years old imposing yourself on me and stealing my food'
To which Junsu has a lot to say.
'First, I'm twenty one year old and, second, you always invite me over and call me your lovely Susu. If your doting doesn't prove your love for younger men, I don't know what else does'
'Ah,' Jaejoong stops, thinking for a moment because this is all just too true. He loves Junsu and he does dote on him but he's like a younger brother without any sexual attraction.
'I haven't dated any younger men, though? I just like you. As a friend' he retorts and they are somewhat at a standstill now. Jaejoong decides to leave it at that and Junsu doesn't push it. They have a bit of a history but this is not the time or the place to discuss it.
He cleans the rest of the mess in silence while Junsu's immersing himself in whatever stupid program is running on the TV. They never talk much as their friendship is based on their mutual silent understanding but there's one thing nagging Jaejoong's mind and he can't let it go.
'Hey, Su,' he starts in a small voice before he adds some volume to it, 'why did you and Yoochun broke up?'
'Uh' Junsu stills, uncomfortable, because that's the one topic they don't discuss. Junsu never told and Jaejoong never asked but now Jaejoong wants to know and it's a problem.
'Yeah, well, nothing really that important but, well, uh, age difference' Junsu mumbles in such confusing language Jaejoong almost misses his answer but, once he processes the meaning, he curses and starts pacing the room.
'Fuck. The fuck didn't you tell me sooner' he says and adds 'you're just like six years apart from him' and then 'the hell am I doing with my life?' and finally 'oh God I'm not going anywhere'
'But that was different!' Junsu yells out and Jaejoong stops, looking at him with disbelief.
'Different? How was it different?'
'Well, uh, age is just a number and it's more like we didn't have any common interests'
'What interests do you think I share with a seventeen years old?' he asks and Junsu shuts up. Then he glances at the clock.
'Actually... I really need to hurry' he says and grabs his things before bolting out of the room without as much as a goodbye. Jaejoong finds it a really cowardly thing to do but chasing after the bastard would be even more ridiculous. Maybe if he were younger, or more athletic, but at his age it just seems exhausting.
'What am I going to do' he mutters to himself and sits down, sulking at his misery. He does feel sorry for himself because Yunho is amazing and sweet and lovable and if only he were ten years older... It's feels like the devil is dangling the man of his dreams in front of him but he's made him a baby and that's just wrong. He only has to step over all his principles and beliefs to get what he wants and that's really mean and unfair and... he freezes when something sharp stabs his ass. He quickly stands up, fishing the sharp object out of his pocket. He finds Yunho's ring there.
'That asshole' he curses, narrowing his eyes, and stares at the object as if it's personally insulted him. Yunho's truly stubborn and that's a major problem.
'Whatever' he lets out a loud sigh as he slips the ring onto his finger. It is a really nice ring, after all, and he's just human.
---
'Look, they offer wine here! Do you want wine?' Yunho babbles as he flips through the on-board menu. Jaejoong keeps staring out of the foggy window, wondering how is he ever going to survive this. It's been ten minutes and he already wants to jump the plane.
'You're underaged' he notes.
'It's fine' Yunho grins, 'you can drink and I can watch'
There's so much wrong with that statement that Jaejoong wants to scream but instead he glances at the excited face and turns back to his window. It's a dreadful two-hour flight. Yunho keeps talking and Jaejoong keeps ignoring him. That is, until he's forced to speak when he sees the taxi already waiting for them at the airport.
'Where are we going?'
'You will see'
'No. I don't really think that's- fine. At least tell me what are we going to do?'
'You'
Which isn't fine. Jaejoong makes a face and Yunho laughs. The boy is worse than Yoochun and he never hoped to meet anyone worse than Yoochun.
'And if we're serious?'
'I can do you serious. I can do you so serious all night you will not be able to walk in the morning'
'Yunho'
'Oh, yeah, well, I was thinking we could just walk around for a while before going to this nice sushi place I know and then to the hotel?'
Which is a nice plan and everything but-
'Why couldn't we do that back home?'
'Because you would have escaped me there'
So it's official, Jaejoong thinks and resigns to his fate as he gets in the car. He's on a date with a maniac and he is going to get murdered tonight.
'I'm not going to sleep with you though' he adds just to make himself clear.
'Well yeah, I know. It's more of a spa than a hotel and I thought we could enjoy it together'
'I'm still not going to sleep with you'
'It's your birthday present'
Which reminds Jaejoong of the ring. He quickly slips it off his ringer and holds it out, making Yunho shrink back as if it's made out of poison ivy.
'Take it back'
'No! It's yours. If you give it to me I will just throw it away'
'But I don't want it!'
'Just keep it'
Jaejoong feels like crying. Yunho's so stubborn that he can't do anything right. The boy is a professional at making things worse and he feels worse when he takes another looks at the ring, slipping it back onto his finger. Apparently, it's a mistake, because Yunho's by his side the next moment, caressing his face and kissing his lips.
'Please don't cry, beautiful. You're so amazing and lovely and I don't want to see you cry. I just want you to have the ring because it's a token of my love and when you wear it I feel so happy'
That's too much and Jaejoong pushes the kid away, angry.
'Yunho, stop it' he can take a lot but this is terrible, 'stop treating me like your possession. I'm a man and I'm independent'
'I know, baby'
'I'm not your baby'
'Ok, beautiful'
'God, Yunho, I'm not-'
'But you are' and Yunho's kissing him again, his hands falling down to his waist. Jaejoong's meant to push him away, he swears, but instead his hands wrap around the younger's neck and he breaths in the same air, their mouths never parting, only seeking out each other's taste, and it's hot, too hot, and Yunho mumbles something about going straight to the hotel and Jaejoong remember who he is.
'No' he tangles himself out of that grip, slapping his cheeks hard. What the hell is he doing and what's happening to his body? He should be capable of resisting a mere boy and he needs to take some control back in his life.
'Yunho... I'm not going to sleep with you, ok?'
'Ok... but I'm not the one constantly reminding myself of that'
Touché, Jaejoong thinks and scoots further away from the kid. Maybe he really is the sexual predator here and Yunho's just an innocent little boy. Then he glances over at the other, eyes falling onto his lap, and he established two things. First, Yunho's not innocent and, second, he's not little.
They spend the rest of the ride in silence. Jaejoong's too afraid to speak and Yunho's feeling content without talking. He's humming a melody Jaejoong can't put his finger on and overall it's quite awkward. When the car finally stops, it's not what he's expected.
'Let's go!' Yunho's shouts and grins at him, taking his hand and dragging him out onto the brightly lit street filled with people. He tries to protest when they pass young couples flocking together everywhere but he finds it difficult to do with the music blasting loudly. He would be lost in a heartbeat if not for the warm hand holding his own, leading him through the buzzing crowd.
'Let's go there, I will win something for you' Yunho says and shows him a games center and then proceeds to lose every game he tries out. He drags Jaejoong to a packed noodle place and they stand on their feet while trying to eat as quickly as humanly possible before moving on. Yunho buys them takoyaki and Jaejoong burns his mouth, tears spilling from his eyes because it's just too hot. Yunho suggest saliva as a treatment and Jaejoong hits him. He feels exhausted and dizzy and tired when he finally gets a minute of rest at a Ferris Wheel where Yunho shoves him in. The cabin moves at the speed of a snail and Jaejoong's feeling grateful.
'You're going to kill me, I'm too old for this' he moans, lifting his aching feet in the other's lap while trying to wipe the smile off his face. He wants to look pissed but it's difficult.
'Nonsense, you're the perfect age for this' Yunho answers and traces the fabric of the other's pants before he moves to sit beside him.
'Aren't you cold?' he wonders, pressing their bodies closer.
'I'm not'
'Well, but I am, baby' Yunho states, his hands already making it around Jaejoong's waist, 'can I warm myself by you? Because you're so hot'
'And you're so cheesy'
'You can eat me later'
'How do you even live with yourself?'
Yunho doesn't answer that, his face so close to Jaejoong's that he can feel himself burning up. Yunho's hands are holding him tight and secure, their bodies pressed together, and his own hands sneak up to rest on the boy's shoulders.
'You feel perfect in my arms' he says and Jaejoong has to admit that he feels perfect in his arms. He doesn't say it, though, because that would be a confession. That would be leading the boy on and giving him false hope and he can't do that.
'I love you'
'Don't say that'
'Well, why not?'
'Because-'
Because Yunho could possibly not be any closer and Jaejoong wants to kiss him. There are many reasons why Yunho shouldn't love him but the question of why not keeps replying in his mind. It's so easy to believe in the boyish charm and excitement and his mind urges him on. Just one kiss, he thinks and then he does exactly that, his eyes falling close and his body moving on its own.
He finds himself on his back the next moment, Yunho staring down at him, trapping him between his arms. He doesn't look amused, almost hurt, and guilt takes over Jaejoong's mind.
'Why do you act like that if you reject me? Why tell me off then kiss me the next moment? I love you, Jae, and I'm not ashamed to admit it. Why are you?'
Jaejoong gulps at that because he's done a terrible mistake and Yunho's right. He's been leading the young man on with his half-hearted refuses, his playful teasing, his shameless flirting and, honesty, he's loved every second of it.
'Because I'm an adult, Yunho. I have responsibilities. Life is not my playground and I'm not a magical princess. I know how teenager brains work, you obsess over things and think you have life figured out but you don't and you're going to forget about me in a month'
'It's been four years'
'You think it's been four years but we met only a few days ago'
'Fine. Then why can't you enjoy it for what it is?'
Which is another excellent point. Maybe he should enjoy this little affair but then again...
'I don't want to hurt. You're young and eager and you will have a dozen other lovers in your life but for me- I've already experienced it all and I'm not looking for another fling'
He's had his heart broken one times too many. The promises of the moon and the stars mean nothing if they don't last. He's too much, too clingy, too needy and, in the end, he's the one afraid. He's jealous and possessive and mean and he doesn't believe in everlasting love.
'I'm a bad lover. I'm mean' he says as he looks away. He hopes that Yunho will gets it but he knows he won't. The boy is too deep in his self-created fairytale to think rationally and Jaejoong will have to break him out of it by the worst possible means.
'I won't ever stop loving you, Jae, I promise' the boy says and of course he says that. That's something you say when you're seventeen and still have the whole life in front of you.
'Cute, Yunnie,' he looks at him with a smile and pats his cheek, 'but that never lasts and I know it'
'It will last' Yunho stares, his voice so serious that Jaejoong almost believes him. Almost. He would have if he were ten years younger.
Yunho slides one hand under his neck, his other hand taking a hold of his arm, and he hauls him up, their mouths now attached to each other's. The boy's kissing him with everything he's got, pouring his adoration and eagerness in the kiss, and it's too sloppy. Jaejoong takes a glimpse around, noticing that they are at the highest point now, and thinks how they should be enjoying the view.
They leave to the hotel without saying a word, Jaejoong somewhat resigned to what he has to do and Yunho's as clueless as ever. As soon as they reach the room he's trapped against the door, the boy's lifting his shirt up, and he's enjoying every second of it. Yunho kneels in front of him, kisses his stomach and whispers sweet promises into his skin, tells him how much he worships and adores him. Then he takes his hand and leads him to the bed.
The long fingers trace over his upper body, urging him to lie down, and Jaejoong compiles, the want roaring loud in his belly. Yunho's wet lips are on his neck, his shoulders, his sides, his hips while his hands work to undo his pants, the goal in his mind clear. He's not patient, not gentle, and Jaejoong can feel his skin being scratched by blunt fingernails, the teen too eager to stop and ask.
It's now or never, Jaejoong thinks and he reaches for him, making him look into his eyes.
'Yunho, you promised. One date and then if I still don't want you...you will go'
It's not what he wants to say, not what he desires, but it's what he needs to do and what is right.
'Please go' he adds and now it's out in the open. Now he can't take it back.
Yunho freezes, his face turning absolutely listless before he scrambles to his feet as if burned. He looks around frantically, grabbing the shirt he tossed away and puts it on hastily. It's too small for him because it's Jaejoong's shirt and the boy tries to figure it out but can't. He ends up cursing and wearing the shirt all wrong.
'Yunho-'
'No' he shakes his head, looking at Jaejoong with a smile, 'I get it. I tried my best but I'm not good enough for you. It's fine, Jaejoong, I'm sorry. I'm just really-'
He reaches for him but Yunho flinches away.
'No, don't. I made the promise and now I have to comply and I just- just...'
It would be fine. It would be fine to part like this and forget and move on. It would be fine because Jaejoong's finally made the boy understand and he's doing him a favor. It would be fine. But it's not. It's not because Yunho's voice is trembling and everything hurts.
'The tickets... Your ticket.. it's, uh, on the, uh, its-' the boy looks around, grabbing his jacket and taking some papers out of the pocket before he tosses them onto the bed and stares at them in confusion.
'It's here, somewhere, you will... just find and...' he looks at Jaejoong, lost, his whole body shaking and his fingers claming around his leather jacket. He opens his mouth to say something but leaves it at that and dashes outside instead, leaving Jaejoong alone. He stares after Yunho for a moment, then looks at the crumbled up papers, and feels stupid. Completely stupid and alone.
Tbc
Six
a/n: Yay. Cliffhanger. Came out of nowhere, I swear. Why am I posting something so terrible today?
Genre: romance/humour/fluff
Chapters: 5/?
Rating: R
Pairings: YunJae/JunChun
Summary: Yunho's young and eager. Yunho's too young and too eager for Jaejoong
a/n: I'm mean
'Omg I love Japan. Let's go!' Junsu cheers when Jaejoong tries to stop the disgust spreading on his face.
'I don't think you're invited' he says, collecting the now empty jars off the table before he stops and inspects the damage, 'just like you're banned from my house' he looks at his friend accusingly.
'But Jae'
'Now you sound like Yunho'
'Oh, do I kinky baby? Is your mind making these connections? Do you feel things for me? I won't deny you, flower boy' Junsu winks at him as he wiggles his eyebrows and all Jaejoong can do is laugh. He wants to be mad because Junsu made a mess out of his living room but the younger's really good at lifting his otherwise foul mood so all is forgiven. He loves him immensely and they would make a perfect couple if only-
'Yunho must have one big dick if you're that smitten with him'
That. Jaejoong snorts in reply because Junsu is basic. He says exactly what he thinks and they just don't match at all. The younger doesn't feel bothered by his ignorance, though, and grabs the remote, switching on the TV.
'But are you really going?' he asks, switching through the channels mindlessly, 'I mean, it's one thing to agree on a date but a completely different one to go over to Japan for sushi, right?'
Right. Jaejoong nods and bites his lip. He knows the answer because he's already decided to go but he finds it hard to admit.
'Do I have a choice?' he asks instead and Junsu throws up his hands in mock surprise, giving him a look which translates into a very sassy gurl, please.
'Of course you have a choice, Jae. DUH. It is not an obligation and you're a grown ass man and, by the way, you're being led around by a teenager. You know that, right?'
Right. Jaejoong knows that but-
'What do you even know,' he waves him off, starting to collect the empty bags littering his table, 'you're a twenty years old imposing yourself on me and stealing my food'
To which Junsu has a lot to say.
'First, I'm twenty one year old and, second, you always invite me over and call me your lovely Susu. If your doting doesn't prove your love for younger men, I don't know what else does'
'Ah,' Jaejoong stops, thinking for a moment because this is all just too true. He loves Junsu and he does dote on him but he's like a younger brother without any sexual attraction.
'I haven't dated any younger men, though? I just like you. As a friend' he retorts and they are somewhat at a standstill now. Jaejoong decides to leave it at that and Junsu doesn't push it. They have a bit of a history but this is not the time or the place to discuss it.
He cleans the rest of the mess in silence while Junsu's immersing himself in whatever stupid program is running on the TV. They never talk much as their friendship is based on their mutual silent understanding but there's one thing nagging Jaejoong's mind and he can't let it go.
'Hey, Su,' he starts in a small voice before he adds some volume to it, 'why did you and Yoochun broke up?'
'Uh' Junsu stills, uncomfortable, because that's the one topic they don't discuss. Junsu never told and Jaejoong never asked but now Jaejoong wants to know and it's a problem.
'Yeah, well, nothing really that important but, well, uh, age difference' Junsu mumbles in such confusing language Jaejoong almost misses his answer but, once he processes the meaning, he curses and starts pacing the room.
'Fuck. The fuck didn't you tell me sooner' he says and adds 'you're just like six years apart from him' and then 'the hell am I doing with my life?' and finally 'oh God I'm not going anywhere'
'But that was different!' Junsu yells out and Jaejoong stops, looking at him with disbelief.
'Different? How was it different?'
'Well, uh, age is just a number and it's more like we didn't have any common interests'
'What interests do you think I share with a seventeen years old?' he asks and Junsu shuts up. Then he glances at the clock.
'Actually... I really need to hurry' he says and grabs his things before bolting out of the room without as much as a goodbye. Jaejoong finds it a really cowardly thing to do but chasing after the bastard would be even more ridiculous. Maybe if he were younger, or more athletic, but at his age it just seems exhausting.
'What am I going to do' he mutters to himself and sits down, sulking at his misery. He does feel sorry for himself because Yunho is amazing and sweet and lovable and if only he were ten years older... It's feels like the devil is dangling the man of his dreams in front of him but he's made him a baby and that's just wrong. He only has to step over all his principles and beliefs to get what he wants and that's really mean and unfair and... he freezes when something sharp stabs his ass. He quickly stands up, fishing the sharp object out of his pocket. He finds Yunho's ring there.
'That asshole' he curses, narrowing his eyes, and stares at the object as if it's personally insulted him. Yunho's truly stubborn and that's a major problem.
'Whatever' he lets out a loud sigh as he slips the ring onto his finger. It is a really nice ring, after all, and he's just human.
---
'Look, they offer wine here! Do you want wine?' Yunho babbles as he flips through the on-board menu. Jaejoong keeps staring out of the foggy window, wondering how is he ever going to survive this. It's been ten minutes and he already wants to jump the plane.
'You're underaged' he notes.
'It's fine' Yunho grins, 'you can drink and I can watch'
There's so much wrong with that statement that Jaejoong wants to scream but instead he glances at the excited face and turns back to his window. It's a dreadful two-hour flight. Yunho keeps talking and Jaejoong keeps ignoring him. That is, until he's forced to speak when he sees the taxi already waiting for them at the airport.
'Where are we going?'
'You will see'
'No. I don't really think that's- fine. At least tell me what are we going to do?'
'You'
Which isn't fine. Jaejoong makes a face and Yunho laughs. The boy is worse than Yoochun and he never hoped to meet anyone worse than Yoochun.
'And if we're serious?'
'I can do you serious. I can do you so serious all night you will not be able to walk in the morning'
'Yunho'
'Oh, yeah, well, I was thinking we could just walk around for a while before going to this nice sushi place I know and then to the hotel?'
Which is a nice plan and everything but-
'Why couldn't we do that back home?'
'Because you would have escaped me there'
So it's official, Jaejoong thinks and resigns to his fate as he gets in the car. He's on a date with a maniac and he is going to get murdered tonight.
'I'm not going to sleep with you though' he adds just to make himself clear.
'Well yeah, I know. It's more of a spa than a hotel and I thought we could enjoy it together'
'I'm still not going to sleep with you'
'It's your birthday present'
Which reminds Jaejoong of the ring. He quickly slips it off his ringer and holds it out, making Yunho shrink back as if it's made out of poison ivy.
'Take it back'
'No! It's yours. If you give it to me I will just throw it away'
'But I don't want it!'
'Just keep it'
Jaejoong feels like crying. Yunho's so stubborn that he can't do anything right. The boy is a professional at making things worse and he feels worse when he takes another looks at the ring, slipping it back onto his finger. Apparently, it's a mistake, because Yunho's by his side the next moment, caressing his face and kissing his lips.
'Please don't cry, beautiful. You're so amazing and lovely and I don't want to see you cry. I just want you to have the ring because it's a token of my love and when you wear it I feel so happy'
That's too much and Jaejoong pushes the kid away, angry.
'Yunho, stop it' he can take a lot but this is terrible, 'stop treating me like your possession. I'm a man and I'm independent'
'I know, baby'
'I'm not your baby'
'Ok, beautiful'
'God, Yunho, I'm not-'
'But you are' and Yunho's kissing him again, his hands falling down to his waist. Jaejoong's meant to push him away, he swears, but instead his hands wrap around the younger's neck and he breaths in the same air, their mouths never parting, only seeking out each other's taste, and it's hot, too hot, and Yunho mumbles something about going straight to the hotel and Jaejoong remember who he is.
'No' he tangles himself out of that grip, slapping his cheeks hard. What the hell is he doing and what's happening to his body? He should be capable of resisting a mere boy and he needs to take some control back in his life.
'Yunho... I'm not going to sleep with you, ok?'
'Ok... but I'm not the one constantly reminding myself of that'
Touché, Jaejoong thinks and scoots further away from the kid. Maybe he really is the sexual predator here and Yunho's just an innocent little boy. Then he glances over at the other, eyes falling onto his lap, and he established two things. First, Yunho's not innocent and, second, he's not little.
They spend the rest of the ride in silence. Jaejoong's too afraid to speak and Yunho's feeling content without talking. He's humming a melody Jaejoong can't put his finger on and overall it's quite awkward. When the car finally stops, it's not what he's expected.
'Let's go!' Yunho's shouts and grins at him, taking his hand and dragging him out onto the brightly lit street filled with people. He tries to protest when they pass young couples flocking together everywhere but he finds it difficult to do with the music blasting loudly. He would be lost in a heartbeat if not for the warm hand holding his own, leading him through the buzzing crowd.
'Let's go there, I will win something for you' Yunho says and shows him a games center and then proceeds to lose every game he tries out. He drags Jaejoong to a packed noodle place and they stand on their feet while trying to eat as quickly as humanly possible before moving on. Yunho buys them takoyaki and Jaejoong burns his mouth, tears spilling from his eyes because it's just too hot. Yunho suggest saliva as a treatment and Jaejoong hits him. He feels exhausted and dizzy and tired when he finally gets a minute of rest at a Ferris Wheel where Yunho shoves him in. The cabin moves at the speed of a snail and Jaejoong's feeling grateful.
'You're going to kill me, I'm too old for this' he moans, lifting his aching feet in the other's lap while trying to wipe the smile off his face. He wants to look pissed but it's difficult.
'Nonsense, you're the perfect age for this' Yunho answers and traces the fabric of the other's pants before he moves to sit beside him.
'Aren't you cold?' he wonders, pressing their bodies closer.
'I'm not'
'Well, but I am, baby' Yunho states, his hands already making it around Jaejoong's waist, 'can I warm myself by you? Because you're so hot'
'And you're so cheesy'
'You can eat me later'
'How do you even live with yourself?'
Yunho doesn't answer that, his face so close to Jaejoong's that he can feel himself burning up. Yunho's hands are holding him tight and secure, their bodies pressed together, and his own hands sneak up to rest on the boy's shoulders.
'You feel perfect in my arms' he says and Jaejoong has to admit that he feels perfect in his arms. He doesn't say it, though, because that would be a confession. That would be leading the boy on and giving him false hope and he can't do that.
'I love you'
'Don't say that'
'Well, why not?'
'Because-'
Because Yunho could possibly not be any closer and Jaejoong wants to kiss him. There are many reasons why Yunho shouldn't love him but the question of why not keeps replying in his mind. It's so easy to believe in the boyish charm and excitement and his mind urges him on. Just one kiss, he thinks and then he does exactly that, his eyes falling close and his body moving on its own.
He finds himself on his back the next moment, Yunho staring down at him, trapping him between his arms. He doesn't look amused, almost hurt, and guilt takes over Jaejoong's mind.
'Why do you act like that if you reject me? Why tell me off then kiss me the next moment? I love you, Jae, and I'm not ashamed to admit it. Why are you?'
Jaejoong gulps at that because he's done a terrible mistake and Yunho's right. He's been leading the young man on with his half-hearted refuses, his playful teasing, his shameless flirting and, honesty, he's loved every second of it.
'Because I'm an adult, Yunho. I have responsibilities. Life is not my playground and I'm not a magical princess. I know how teenager brains work, you obsess over things and think you have life figured out but you don't and you're going to forget about me in a month'
'It's been four years'
'You think it's been four years but we met only a few days ago'
'Fine. Then why can't you enjoy it for what it is?'
Which is another excellent point. Maybe he should enjoy this little affair but then again...
'I don't want to hurt. You're young and eager and you will have a dozen other lovers in your life but for me- I've already experienced it all and I'm not looking for another fling'
He's had his heart broken one times too many. The promises of the moon and the stars mean nothing if they don't last. He's too much, too clingy, too needy and, in the end, he's the one afraid. He's jealous and possessive and mean and he doesn't believe in everlasting love.
'I'm a bad lover. I'm mean' he says as he looks away. He hopes that Yunho will gets it but he knows he won't. The boy is too deep in his self-created fairytale to think rationally and Jaejoong will have to break him out of it by the worst possible means.
'I won't ever stop loving you, Jae, I promise' the boy says and of course he says that. That's something you say when you're seventeen and still have the whole life in front of you.
'Cute, Yunnie,' he looks at him with a smile and pats his cheek, 'but that never lasts and I know it'
'It will last' Yunho stares, his voice so serious that Jaejoong almost believes him. Almost. He would have if he were ten years younger.
Yunho slides one hand under his neck, his other hand taking a hold of his arm, and he hauls him up, their mouths now attached to each other's. The boy's kissing him with everything he's got, pouring his adoration and eagerness in the kiss, and it's too sloppy. Jaejoong takes a glimpse around, noticing that they are at the highest point now, and thinks how they should be enjoying the view.
They leave to the hotel without saying a word, Jaejoong somewhat resigned to what he has to do and Yunho's as clueless as ever. As soon as they reach the room he's trapped against the door, the boy's lifting his shirt up, and he's enjoying every second of it. Yunho kneels in front of him, kisses his stomach and whispers sweet promises into his skin, tells him how much he worships and adores him. Then he takes his hand and leads him to the bed.
The long fingers trace over his upper body, urging him to lie down, and Jaejoong compiles, the want roaring loud in his belly. Yunho's wet lips are on his neck, his shoulders, his sides, his hips while his hands work to undo his pants, the goal in his mind clear. He's not patient, not gentle, and Jaejoong can feel his skin being scratched by blunt fingernails, the teen too eager to stop and ask.
It's now or never, Jaejoong thinks and he reaches for him, making him look into his eyes.
'Yunho, you promised. One date and then if I still don't want you...you will go'
It's not what he wants to say, not what he desires, but it's what he needs to do and what is right.
'Please go' he adds and now it's out in the open. Now he can't take it back.
Yunho freezes, his face turning absolutely listless before he scrambles to his feet as if burned. He looks around frantically, grabbing the shirt he tossed away and puts it on hastily. It's too small for him because it's Jaejoong's shirt and the boy tries to figure it out but can't. He ends up cursing and wearing the shirt all wrong.
'Yunho-'
'No' he shakes his head, looking at Jaejoong with a smile, 'I get it. I tried my best but I'm not good enough for you. It's fine, Jaejoong, I'm sorry. I'm just really-'
He reaches for him but Yunho flinches away.
'No, don't. I made the promise and now I have to comply and I just- just...'
It would be fine. It would be fine to part like this and forget and move on. It would be fine because Jaejoong's finally made the boy understand and he's doing him a favor. It would be fine. But it's not. It's not because Yunho's voice is trembling and everything hurts.
'The tickets... Your ticket.. it's, uh, on the, uh, its-' the boy looks around, grabbing his jacket and taking some papers out of the pocket before he tosses them onto the bed and stares at them in confusion.
'It's here, somewhere, you will... just find and...' he looks at Jaejoong, lost, his whole body shaking and his fingers claming around his leather jacket. He opens his mouth to say something but leaves it at that and dashes outside instead, leaving Jaejoong alone. He stares after Yunho for a moment, then looks at the crumbled up papers, and feels stupid. Completely stupid and alone.
Tbc
Six
a/n: Yay. Cliffhanger. Came out of nowhere, I swear. Why am I posting something so terrible today?