Under God's Eyes
Title: Under God's Eyes
Author: Suju_shinki
Pairing: Yoosu
Genre: Drama, Romance, Lurv Making~
Rating: NC-17
Length: Oneshot
Summary: They have each other and that's what counts.
Warning: Some religious themes.
AN: For bitingsu
It had all started the summer Junsu got a job at the ice cream shop at the other side of town. He had heard of Yoochun before, seen him around the school, but they had never talked, never acknowledge each other's existence. Junsu had a reason for that. The way his parents spoke about the Park family was more than demeaning and especially Yoochun who his father called 'uncontrolled' and 'rebellious'. Though they had never forbidden him from hanging out with Park Yoochun, Junsu knew that it was out of the question. He had heard rumours about the boy's drug abuse, drinking and most interesting, about him being gay. Junsu had been fantasizing about men since he was fifteen and finding out that there was actual another gay guy in their town was...comforting.
It was on one hot summer afternoon when most people were either at the pool or hanging in their backyard when Yoochun entered the shop. The first thing Junsu noticed was that he had cut his hair. The second thing was the little girl holding onto his hand.
“Tell him what you want, Sooyoo,” Yoochun said and picked her up before letting her sit on the counter.
Junsu waited patiently for the girl to make a decision. There was no hurry since the shop was pretty much deserted that day. Even too hot for ice cream, he thought.
They watched her stare at all the flavours in an awkward silence before Yoochun said: “He's waiting.”
“It's fine,” Junsu said. “Take your time.”
“You choose first,” Sooyoo said looking at Yoochun. “I can't.”
“Chocolate,” Yoochun immediately said. “One scoop.”
“Can I have two scoops?” Sooyoo asked and Yoochun answered her with a simple “No.”
The little girl seemed unfazed and said she wanted chocolate too. Junsu gave them their ice cream and waited for them to leave when Yoochun turned to him and tilted his head to the side.
“Where do I know you from?”
“School...I guess.” He didn't know if he should be offended. He may not be the most popular person in their school, but people knew him. Their school wasn't even that big.
“Right. Junho?”
“Junsu.”
“See you around, Junsu.”
He knew it was stupid, getting infatuated with someone after such a short conversation. A conversation that should have pissed him off, really, but the instead the opposite happened. He found himself hoping they'd come to the store again. Made sure he was there at the same time they had come that day. And it was exactly one week after their first visit that they came again.
“She's my niece. I get to look out for her every Friday,” Yoochun explained without anyone asking. Junsu noticed the 'get to' instead of 'have to' and guessed they must be really close.
And then there was that fated moment on a Saturday night when Junsu was on his way home from being out with his friends and had just a little bit too much to drink. He was walking home and got honked at. Yoochun drove him home that night and gave him his phone number. “If you want to hang out or anything.”
Their parents forbid him to ever see that kid again the very next morning, but Junsu found himself calling him two days later.
They met that evening at their school's yard, why, Junsu couldn't really come up with a reason. All he knew was that it should be abandoned. Yoochun didn't ask why they were there or if they were going to leave. They sat in the grass that evening and talked until the sun was starting to come up. They kissed before leaving for their separate houses.
“I don't know why you'd want friends like that, Junsu. He's a bad influence!” “Do your other friends hang out with him? They don't, so why should you?”
Junsu heard it everyday, got pissed everyday and Yoochun was there for him everyday. They hung out at night, even when Junsu wasn't allowed to stay out after midnight anymore he snuck out, went to the school yards and they'd sit and talk, kiss and talk, and talk and talk and talk. Yoochun had tried a lot of different drugs, had tasted a lot of different drinks and Junsu wasn't surprised. He said that it was what he used to do and that he hadn't had a pill or a sniff in over six months. Junsu told him that he went to church every Sunday even if his parents didn't go and that he didn't know how being gay was fair in his position. He cried. Yoochun was there. He was always there.
The summer was theirs, every night was theirs. Yoochun had taken him to his house once, when his parents had left town for the weekend and they ended up in Yoochun's bed, tugging at each other's shirts. Junsu was dreading the moment he had to start saying no, because his entire body was screaming yes, yes, yes the whole time. Yoochun's hands on his naked chest, on his back, his lips in his neck and then there was a hand on his crotch and he was pulled back into reality. “I can't do that. I'm sorry...”
“Don't be,” Yoochun had said and pressed their foreheads together. “God is watching after all. You've just saved my soul.”
Junsu dreaded the beginning of their new school year, but it was there way too soon. He barely spoke to his parents anymore, and they didn't bother him about Yoochun either. Junsu guessed they never found out about him sneaking out all those nights, probably thinking he was over his 'friendship' with 'that boy'. A phase he had heard his father call it.
People stared at them during the whole first week of school. Rumours, rumours and more rumours. Yoochun couldn't care less and convinced Junsu that there were worst things in the world than a couple of teenager talking about stuff they don't know shit about. It was life, Yoochun had said. It sucked sometimes. And that had become Junsu's motto for that whole school year. It was graduation year and Junsu found out that Yoochun was doing extremely well in school. He was there more often too, and Junsu teased him for it.
Most of Junsu's friends didn't even talk to him anymore and he couldn't be sad about it. He could hardly have call them friends in the first place. Still, he couldn't help but wonder what the reaction to him being gay would be, if the fact that he hung out with Park Yoochun was this big already.
During that year, it was got harder and harder for Junsu to stop whenever he felt they were going to far. Most of the time Yoochun wouldn't try anything below the belt, but it happened now and then when they were too engrossed in what they were doing. Junsu loved the feeling of Yoochun's hands on his hips and allowed the occasional grope of his ass and that was as far as they went. He was embarrassed by the fact that it happened quite often that they had to break apart because their erections were getting too painful.
It was what made him start to think about the future. He was gay, he was a convinced Christian. How did that work? Yoochun said that it worked fine. That it was stupid to just stop believing because you're gay. The bible is truth he said, except for the whole you can't be gay thing.
Junsu was thankful that he had met and had fallen in love with this person. Yoochun never said anything about them having to hide their relationship, never said anything about Junsu having to come out, never pushed him further than his limits.
“ I have a friend,” Yoochun said when graduation was coming closer and closer. Their schoolbooks were lying before them on the grass in the school yards. “And his brother is a priest. He does gay marriages.”
“That's great,” Junsu had said and flipped over a page. Yoochun shoved the books out of the way carefully and sat in front of him.
“Kim Junsu,” he said and Junsu looked from his face to his books wondering what was going on. “Look at me,” Yoochun said and Junsu concentrated on his face. “Marry me.”
Junsu could only stare for a few seconds, trying to figure out if this was really happening, if Yoochun was really serious-
“Okay,” he blurted and his arms were around Yoochun's neck before he realised what was happening.
Yoochun told him he'd stay with if that's what he needed. He'd be by his side for support while he told his parents that he was gay. Junsu half regretted telling him it was better if he didn't come. It'd only make it worse. He did wished from the bottom of his heart that there was someone with him at that moment. Someone who could force it out of him. Someone who understood how he felt. Someone who could cushion the blow.
“What is it, Junsu?” his mother asked. “What did you want to talk to us about?”
“I'm gay,” he said staring at the wall, the floor, the doors, the family pictures, nothing, anything. As long as he didn't have to see their faces crumble.
Junsu moved in with Yoochun and his parents a week later. He had announced it to his parents that morning together with that he was accepted into the college that he wanted, but neither of them budged. Yoochun's father offered to talk to them, but Junsu could only imagine their reaction to the man they already didn't respect. He wanted to save the man the misery and deep down he wanted to see whether his parents would try and reach out to him.
It wasn't that Yoochun's parents supported the marriage, not at all, but Junsu couldn't be mad at them. They were like Yoochun. Nice and honest, liberal, Junsu noticed. It was awkward at first. Going from not knowing these people at all to living in their house. It wasn't until one night Yoochun's mother had caught him praying while Yoochun was downstairs that she sat on the bed and looked at him with tears in her eyes. “You're a good kid,” she said. “Don't let anyone make you think otherwise.” Junsu had burst into tears at that point and she held him, like a mother held her son.
Graduation came and went and Junsu hadn't heard anything from his parents. Junsu was getting anxious and wanted to start a new life fast. Marrying Yoochun was part of that. They had talked about it with Yoochun's parents so much, that in the end they had practically planned it out for them.
“At least You'll be married under the eyes of god,” Misses Park told them. “That's what's important.”
“Thank you,” Junsu said and kissed her cheek. Yoochun moved to the other side and kissed her too.
They were the only ones there, at the school yards and Junsu knew the priest thought they were crazy. It was them, the priest, Yoochun's parents and aunt, and little Sooyoo was their flower girl.
It wasn't perfect, far from it, but at that point the only thing that counted was his groom. His dashing groom.
“One day we'll celebrate it big and everyone will be there,” Yoochun whispered into his ear when they were back in their one-bedroom apartment that night. They were standing in the middle of the empty living room, not having had any time for decorations or even just furniture yet. The radio was on and they swayed together.
“We won't even have to ask right?” Junsu said softly and tightened his arms around his new husbands waist.
“They'll be begging to come,” Yoochun said and at his little laugh at the end of that sentence Junsu could guess where his mind really was.
“As newlyweds we have an obligation on this night,” Junsu said and pushed himself up to be able to look Yoochun in the eyes.
“I don't think we won't have to see sex as an obligation for a long long time. Let's enjoy it while it's still fun,” he grinned.
They had a bed and that was pretty much it, and it was also pretty much all they needed. They undressed each other standing next to it, and Junsu's heart was beating faster with every piece of clothing they shed. Junsu had read up on gay sex enough to know that it was probably going to hurt. He was happy to find out that Yoochun had thought of lube and was thinking of ways to make it comfortable for him. Also seeing Yoochun's shaking hands gave a certain assurance, he wasn't the only one nervous.
They kissed for a long time, Yoochun lying on top of him, touching each other where ever they could. “You scared?” he asked softly.
“Are you?” Junsu answered his question with a question.
“To death,” Yoochun said and let out a shivering chuckle.
“Me too,” Junsu admitted and felt his cheeks burning up when Yoochun's eyes roamed his naked figure. He closed his eyes and felt an unexpected kiss on his stomach. His eyes flew open and Yoochun was there, there where they had craved each other for so long. Long slender fingers wrapped around his cock and started stroking him lightly. His eyes rolled back into his head as he spread his legs wider. Seconds after he felt Yoochun's wet tongue around his tip and his eyes shot up. Pleasure rushed through his groin and he had to do his best to keep his hips on the bed. Yoochun licked him from base to tip, before engulfing his entire cock. Junsu's arm shot up and he put a hand in Yoochun's hair and groaned.
Yoochun bobbed his head up and down and Junsu's breathing started following the same rhythm. “Yoochun,” he breathed. “Yoochun.”
Yoochun took his mouth off his cock and pushed Junsu back onto his back. He kissed him hard and sloppy and Junsu could feel his hard erection slide against his thigh, feeling it leaving a wet trail of precum behind.
“Don't you want to get in me?” Junsu asked breathlessly after long agonizing seconds of kissing.
“Is that even a question,” Yoochun said shaking his head. “I'm dying here.”
“Do it,” Junsu said and reached for the lube waiting for them on the night stand. “Do me.”
Yoochun accepted the bottle and sat up on his knees, giving Junsu a full view of everything he had to offer. His erection was standing straight up, pointing at his bellybutton and Junsu's hand was on it before he could stop himself. Yoochun hummed in approval and held the bottle of lube upside down, over his dick. It trickled over it and Junsu spread it around, stroking him carefully and enjoying the small noises his husband made. He regretted not taking a taste before they lubed it up, but then realised they still had a whole life ahead of them.
“Give me your hand,” Yoochun said softly and took his hand off his cock. He scraped the left over lube off with two fingers and told him to lie down again.
'It's-”
“Gonna hurt. I know,” Junsu said. “But that's life.”
“It'll get better,” Yoochun said. “I promise.”
Junsu tried not to think about all the things that had to get better as he felt Yoochun's fingers pry into him. He closed his eyes and let it happen. He was preparing himself for the worst when he felt something wet and cold drip onto his cock. When he opened his eyes he saw Yoochun closed the bottle of lube with one hand and throw it on the bed. He started stroking Junsu's lubed cock and Junsu groaned in pleasure as his hand flew over it. The lube was a nice touch. A very nice touch.
Yoochun's fingers were digging deeper and deeper and he felt the sting he had felt it the beginning fade.
“You think you're ready?”
“Yeah,” Junsu said, though he thought that the only way of really finding out would be trying. He spread his legs wider and watched Yoochun take the base of his own cock in his hand before pressing their lower halves together. Junsu felt Yoochun's lubed cock against his ass and shivered when he found his hole and slowly pressed in. he repressed the urge to squeal at the sensation that ran through him and just brought his legs higher to give his husband more access.
Yoochun fell forward and put one hand on each side of Junsu's head. He pressed a kiss on his lips and cheek before he slammed himself in with one final thrust. Junsu's arms jerked up and he clung onto Yoochun with all he had. Yoochun moaned and grunted into his neck, sunk his teeth into him kissed him, licked him and Junsu tried to concentrate on that instead of what was going on down there. Yoochun must have realised he wasn't having the best time because one of his hands slid in between them and started stroking him. Junsu hummed in appreciation and put his own hand over his and moved with him. “I'm coming,” Yoochun breathed into his ear. “Junsu...”
Yoochun stilled and Junsu felt his hole fill up with something warm and he felt Yoochun slowly soften inside of him. Yoochun fell onto him heavily and moved to the side a bit so he could keep stroking him. He felt soft kisses pressed against his arm and shoulder as he got stroked to his own release.
Junsu closed his eyes after that, exhausted, but Yoochun's voice kept him awake. “Don't fall asleep,” he said. “It's time to take a shower in our new bathroom for the first time.”
“Do we have to?” Junsu whined and turned onto his side to face his husband. “We're married. We just had sex. We're grown ups. Can't we just do whatever we want?”
“If you don't mind waking up with hardened cum all over you I'm fine with it,” Yoochun smiled and put a hand on his cheek.
“I can handle that,” Junsu smiled back.
“Good, because there's going to be lots of more hardened cum in our future.”
“Looking forward to it.”
“It?”
“It,” Junsu said. “Our hardened cum. Our life together. The future. It.”
“It's going to be great,” Yoochun said. “I promise.”