Your 14 against Mine: suju

suju_shinki

Your 14 against Mine

Aug 16, 2010 15:05

Title: Your 14 against Mine
Author: suju_shinki
Pairing: Yoosu
Rating: pg-13
Genre: angst D8
Summary: Yoochun’s sends Junsu and email with 14 reasons. Junsu sends one back.
An: ...DX

From: ypark@ceo.live.kr

To: kimjunsu@live.kr

Subject: 14 reasons why we shouldn’t be together

You’re a day-person when I’m clearly a night-person. You wake up at 6:30 on weekdays when you only have to be at work at 9 and it’s a 15 minute drive. You wake me up by using the blow dryer right next to my face, leave the light on when you leave, forget to take your empty cup of coffee and put it in the sink.
You’re a slob, while I hate messes. You never put the cap back onto the toothpaste, your clothes stay where ever they land until I pick them up or yell at you to pick them up, you eat so fast half the food lands on the floor and in your lap instead of in your mouth, you never do laundry giving me the excuse that you don't know how the machine works. Liar.
You have no sense of style whatsoever while I actually put some thought into what I’m going to wear. You also wear my clothes sometimes and it hurts to see my clothes be so painfully miss-matched by your unworthy hands.
When you’re mad at me you stop being cute and starts being the coldest person I know. You still talk to me, but every thing that comes out is hurtful and you don’t stop until I cry. Sometimes I think you do that on purpose.
You cheated on me. You said it was an accident, you said you weren’t thinking straight and that I wasn’t there and you felt neglected and you this and you that and my head got filled with your bullshit until I finally gave in and took you back. I forgave you. Kind of.
Your best friend confessed his love to me once, while you and me were already together. I told him you were the only one for me and that it was really inappropriate for him to be saying this to his best friends’ boyfriend. I wonder if you would have still slept with him if you knew.
Not all of my friends like you, which means a lot since everyone you ever meet likes you from the beginning. It’s your face they like. Not you. I think I’m the only one who likes you.
Sometimes I want to throw that blow dryer of yours into the bath tub while you’re in it. It’s come so far I’m contemplating murder, Junsu.
There are times I feel like you’re hiding something from me and I get paranoid. I get scared to death when I think of you cheating again. I asked you to stop hanging around that guy. No, I demanded it, screamed at you, swore I’d leave you if you didn’t. I know for a fact that he still calls you and that you still see each other. And I’m still here.
You feel like I don’t get you, but I do. Even though you never actually speak the words, I always know what’s bothering you and I always find a way to solve it. You don’t know that I’m doing that and even if you knew, would it make a difference?
You don’t get me. You think you do, but you don’t. You think I’m simple, easy to please. I think that’s the funniest thing, don’t you? I have two degrees and you’re a college drop out, working at a construction sight. Still you think I’m simple.
The sex we had was fantastic. I once read that the better the sex, the worse the relationship. I wondered a lot about this after I found out you cheated. If our sex wasn’t good enough, if I wasn’t good enough. That was stupid. I’m great in bed. We haven´’t had much sex lately. I come home late from work, you bitch about it. I come home early and you’re no where to be found. To be honest, I don’t know how we could ever go back to having sex the way we did, because at that time you were mine and mine alone and now…now I know you’ve been his too.
Your family still doesn’t know you’re gay and I still haven’t officially met them even though we’ll be together four years next month. I wonder if you’ll remember.
I read somewhere that the more lies your partner tells, the more he’s scared to lose you. Is that it? Are you scared to lose me? Because the amount of lies you tell- which I see right through by the way- are only pushing me away. When people talk about what you need in a relationship the word ‘trust’ seems to be popular. Why can’t we try that? Why can’t I trust you?

From: kimjunsu@live.kr

To: ypark@ceo.live.kr

Subject: 14 Reasons why we can never break up

Even when you’re not a morning person there are some mornings you wake up with me and I don’t blow dry my hair on those mornings and I don’t even drink coffee. Because when you’re up and by my side so early I feel like I get all the energy in the world.
Sure, I’m a slob. But if I wasn’t then we’d never get to do our extra special monthly cleaning together and I know how much you like that. And when I see you enjoy something like that I can’t help but enjoy it myself.
When you have time you pick out clothes for me and I let you, because you always look so excited about it. I never told you this, but on days that you dress me, people always tell me how good I look.
When I’m mad at you and I take it as far as making you cry, you know I cry myself. And since we’re crying together it doesn’t feel as bad anymore.
I cheated on you. I cheated and you knew the second you laid eyes on me. You were so busy and you seemed so far away. But there’s no excuse, I know that and when you took me back I still felt like I didn’t deserve it. You’re too good for this world, Yoochunnie.
Hyukjae never stopped talking about how amazing you were and about how lucky I was I got someone like you, because I didn’t deserve you. In the beginning I thought he was just joking around, being the dick he was. But in the end I realized he was serious. He wanted you but you were mine and I wasn’t ever going to give you up. I think it was partially the reason why I slept with him.
I don’t care if people like me or not. I want you to like me, to love me and you do.
I’d rather die at your hands than die without you as my man.
We only see each other at our Sunday afternoon soccer matches and I am hiding something. You don’t know that every time we see each other I end up punching him in the face unless someone stops me. You work on Sundays, but if you want I’ll stop going to the soccer matches.
I always thought things just worked out for me and that god had his way of helping me out. Turns out I was right. His way of helping me out was by bringing you into my life. An angel in a business suit.
I don’t get you, that’s true. I realized that you sometimes dumb yourself down to make me feel smart and I have no idea why you do that. But it’s probably a good thing because I feel stupid enough as it is and you’re some kind of genius. If you’d start getting smarter on me I’d lose the little pride I have left.
I’ve looked up that thing about the sex and it’s true. But I found out that the sex becomes better when the people doing it long for the other to like them and wants love instead of rejection. I don’t see how that’s a bad thing. Why can’t good sex just be good sex? And I’m great in bed too. You forgot to mention that. Also, I miss the way we were too and I’ve always been yours. He was a big mistake,
I’m going to tell them soon, so please bare with me. If I’m going to come out I have to do it with you by my side of else I’ll never be able to. They’ll only accept me if I have someone worth accepting with me and they’ll love you, Yoochunnie. I’m sure of it. And to be completely honest, I hadn’t remembered it, but it would have hit me in the upcoming month.
I love you and losing you is not an option, so please tell me what to do to win your trust. I’ll do anything. What do you think of couple’s counselling?

genre:angst, pairing:yoosu