Update from Noir Cahier
I am so sick of the fact that everything that is healthy for you cost so god damn much. Then you hear on news that Americans are overweight and give out those expensive tips to lose it. People need self control, I say that about others but it seems like that's what I really need as well.
I have been wanting to go to the gym. I have a lot of motivation for it right now. What I mean is aggression, I am so angry inside and I don't even know why.
I have been a big attention hog. I like it when I have Kenny's attention. I don't seem to get enough. I want to be his every desire and fantasy. It makes me sad that I can't. I really don't know what he wants in a woman. Even if I did know, I could never be that way. He's still doing that whole no-no that I get very jealous and angry over. I've been getting angry and jealous very easily lately. That's where the need for self control would come in handy. I told him how I feel, asked him not to do it and he still does it. It makes me feel like he doesn't need me and doesn't care how I feel. It just makes me feel very unloved by him sometimes. it like I'm not happy with him unless his eyes and hands are on me all the time. Even when he is with me, I can't help it to think that he is thinking of being somewhere else or being with somebody else.
I hate the way I look and think so much that I can't even get the guy I love to love me.
I hope this writing thing will allow be to relieve and ease some of the emotions and thoughts (moods) I go through. All I really want is to be like my self again and be a sexy vixen for the love of my life.
P.S. Dearly Beloved, Die= everything that makes me, not me, a very unhappy Kitty Kat and thing that I just need to get over and let go of.
*MEOW*
I have been wanting to go to the gym. I have a lot of motivation for it right now. What I mean is aggression, I am so angry inside and I don't even know why.
I have been a big attention hog. I like it when I have Kenny's attention. I don't seem to get enough. I want to be his every desire and fantasy. It makes me sad that I can't. I really don't know what he wants in a woman. Even if I did know, I could never be that way. He's still doing that whole no-no that I get very jealous and angry over. I've been getting angry and jealous very easily lately. That's where the need for self control would come in handy. I told him how I feel, asked him not to do it and he still does it. It makes me feel like he doesn't need me and doesn't care how I feel. It just makes me feel very unloved by him sometimes. it like I'm not happy with him unless his eyes and hands are on me all the time. Even when he is with me, I can't help it to think that he is thinking of being somewhere else or being with somebody else.
I hate the way I look and think so much that I can't even get the guy I love to love me.
I hope this writing thing will allow be to relieve and ease some of the emotions and thoughts (moods) I go through. All I really want is to be like my self again and be a sexy vixen for the love of my life.
P.S. Dearly Beloved, Die= everything that makes me, not me, a very unhappy Kitty Kat and thing that I just need to get over and let go of.
*MEOW*