Idealistically Yours
Title: Idealistically Yours
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: implied sex, MAJOR manga spoilers
Summary: After Tamaki's actions in Boston, Haruhi learns that she still has a lot to learn about love.
Author's Notes: set after the manga's ending. Written for ouran_contest's "Ideal" theme.
The preview image was colored by nishi_bee... I just cropped it to use as a preview image for this and added the credit text to it. I hope that's okay! To see more of nishi_bee's fantastic coloring from chapter 83, click here
If anyone wants to see the cut-out lemon for this fic, just let me know in the comments and I'll fix it up and post it ^^
“Please, Haruhi?”
“I said no! Get out of here!” Haruhi snapped, a vein pulsing in her temple as she moved over to the ‘door of love’ that connected their apartments and opened it, pointing toward his apartment that was visible on the other side. “I’m sorry, senpai, but I have homework to do.”
“But I want to spend some time with you!” Tamaki wailed. “I never get to see you at all except for meals and on the train to school!” he was waving his arms around and he was grumping and whining, and Haruhi had had just about enough. “Can’t I stay for--”
“No…” Haruhi told him firmly, shoving him toward his own apartment. “Get out, please. I have a lot of work to do…” Haruhi had to admit that though she enjoyed, occasionally, being so close to her senpai in proximity, the living arrangement was anything but ideal. Most of the time, he got in her way and he made it impossible for her to do things like study. In the six months they had been in Boston, he had singlehandedly turned her study time from something she enjoyed doing to something stressful.
“But I actually have something really important I need to talk to you about!” Tamaki gasped as she shoved him over the threshold. “Please!”
“NO!” Haruhi snapped, closing the door in his face. “Let me do my homework and then maybe I’ll consider letting you back through!” she locked the door and sighed heavily, turning away. Kyouya had warned her it was a terrible idea to move the furniture away from the door, but she hadn’t listened. Now she was regretting it. “And you’re abusing your privileges!” she told him through the door. “Keep doing this, and you’ll have to use the foyer like everyone else!”
She heard him whimper and she sighed softly, running a hand across her hair in frustration and moving toward her desk to do her homework. She loved him, that much she was certain of, but there were times when she questioned whether she could be around him without losing her sanity.
Homework occupied most of her thoughts for the next hour, but whenever she had a moment to think in between History essay questions, she would find her mind wandering to Tamaki. She felt guilty, that much was clear, and it was enough for her to push her workbook away and lean back in her chair. The door to Tamaki’s part of the apartment was visible through her bedroom door, and she spent several moments staring at it. She glanced at the clock only to find that it was nearly eight. He was normally never quiet this long.
“Maybe I was a little hard on him…” she muttered to herself, getting up and moving over to the door. One little apology wouldn’t hurt anything, she supposed. Almost timidly, she approached the door, and she knocked twice on the wood.
“Senpai?” she asked, leaning toward the door to check for any sound of movement on the other side. There was none, and she was worried for a moment for the sake of her normally rambunctious lover. Unlocking the door slowly, she pushed it open and walked cautiously into the apartment on the other side, hoping she wasn’t intruding.
Haruhi had rarely been into Tamaki’s part of the apartment; normally, whenever she had free time, he came to her. It smelled subtly of roses and of the ridiculously expensive cologne that Tamaki liked to wear, and for moment she simply stood there breathing it in and glancing around her. It was as though she had walked into an entirely different world.
The lights were all off in the apartment, and it would have been difficult to see if it weren’t for the scores of candles that burned on every available surface. As she stepped further into the apartment, the smell of roses intensified. It became clear almost immediately that rose petals rested on everything, and fully intact roses sat in vases of water around the candles. It was like a flower shop had exploded in Tamaki’s apartment, and she was concerned.
“Senpai… was there some sort of accident?” she asked, baffled. All thought of apologizing had been chased from her mind by the strangeness of the situation.
“Why no, my sweet!” Tamaki’s voice came from somewhere nearby, and she jumped in surprise, shrieking just a bit. “This is all part of my wonderful plan for our evening together! Perfectly calculated to give you the best night of your life!”
“Oh really?” Haruhi was beginning to wish she had simply gone to bed.
“But of course!” Tamaki came out of the dimness of the kitchen, carrying two glasses in one hand and a large glass bottle in the other. “Champagne, Haruhi?”
“I’m sixteen, Tamaki-senpai,” she reminded him. “And federal law here states that I’m not legally allowed to consume alcohol until I’m 21.”
“Oh, Haruhi,” Tamaki said with a chuckle, sweeping over to her and setting the glasses down on his coffee table, pouring some champagne into each and handing her one. “Always following the law! Live a little, for once!”
“No, thanks,” Haruhi muttered, glaring into her glass. The champagne was pale yellow and seemed to glow in the candlelight. She set the glass down on the coffee table and turned around, toward the open door. “I’m going to bed.”
“Haruhi, wait!” Tamaki wailed, setting down his glass and bounding after her. Midway between the sofa and the door he tripped and he and Haruhi toppled onto the hardwood, Haruhi cursing softly under her breath and Tamaki apologizing profusely. They sat up, Haruhi rubbing her head, and Tamaki blushed a bit, looking sorry. “Sorry I crushed you,” he as good as whispered.
“That’s fine,” Haruhi muttered, letting him help her to her feet. “But I’m still going to bed.”
“Why?” Tamaki asked, his voice bordering on a whine. “I thought things were going so well!”
Of course he did, Haruhi mused with a sigh. The boy flat out refused to see the things that were right in front of him if they were unpleasant. He was such an optimist it was almost scary at times. When he signed letters, she was surprised he didn’t sign them “idealistically” instead of “sincerely”. She could see it now, she thought with a wry smile.
Dear Haruhi,
I seem to have lost my mind tonight.
If you see it, please return it to me.
Idealistically yours,
Tamaki Suoh
“Because this is ridiculous,” she replied finally, turning for the door. “You cover your entire apartment with roses and candles and offer someone under the legal age limit alcohol when they have classes in the morning… it’s just too much.”
“I can get rid of all of it!” Tamaki said, sounding desperate, and his warm hand fell gently on her shoulder. “Please don’t go, Haruhi! I’m sorry if I overwhelmed you, but I wasn’t meaning to annoy you, I promise! I just have something very important I want to say to you, and I wanted everything to be special!”
“Next time, if there’s something you want to say to me,” Haruhi began straightforwardly, looking up into his eyes. “Then just say it to me. There’s no need to make a big fuss about it.”
“I know,” Tamaki said, looking a little embarrassed. “I guess sometimes I forget that you’re… you. I mean… every other girl would have enjoyed this kind of gesture, so I wasn’t really thinking. But I know you’re not every other girl, Haruhi.”
“I guess, in a way, it was kind of nice,” Haruhi said carefully. “That you took the time to do all of this for me, even if you went crazy with it and acted like a guy from some romance novel.”
“Does that mean that you’ll stay?” he asked softly, and his eyes glimmered a bit with hope in the flickering candlelight.
“For a while,” Haruhi acquiesced, nodding a bit. Tamaki barely held back a squeal of what sounded like joy and took her hand, leading her over to the sofa. He set her down and then took her glass of champagne in his hand. She watched him pour it down the sink (she flinched a little at the waste; knowing him, it was probably horrendously expensive) and dig around in the refrigerator until he found some soda to replace it with.
“Is Sprite okay?” he asked cheerfully, and Haruhi nodded. Tamaki stepped back to the sofa and handed her the glass, which was now filled with the clear, bubbling liquid. For a moment, Haruhi wished she would have thought to sample the champagne. Tamaki sat beside her and picked up his own glass, sipping at his champagne, and she drank her own soda slowly, feeling a bit ridiculous to be drinking it out of a champagne flute.
“So, you read romance novels, then?” Tamaki asked after a comfortable silence, bringing up her earlier reference, and Haruhi choked just a bit on her soda.
“Maybe once,” she admitted, scowling into her glass, and Tamaki laughed.
“I’m not here to judge you,” he reminded her softly, and he lifted his hand to brush a lock of hair behind her ear and then looked deep-- a little too deep-- into her eyes. Their love was still innocent physically, but there was still somehow something erotic in the way he always looked at her in these moments. “And you look beautiful, by the way.”
Haruhi resisted the urge to flush. It had been six months-- six months since she confessed her love to him at the airport, six months since he had whispered those three words back in the fountain, six months since had become a real, honest-to-god couple-- but his compliments still always set her off balance. She was wearing a yellow ruffled vest he had bought her over her striped tank top and denim shorts, and she didn’t feel particularly beautiful. However, it was a skill of Tamaki’s to see beauty in everything, and she wasn’t about to make him feel bad.
“Uh… thanks,” she muttered, blushing just the faintest shade of pink and hoping the candlelight would hide it. Tamaki had a keen eye, however.
“Oh, Haruhi, you’re so shy when I compliment you! It’s… it’s cute!” he gushed, and Haruhi sighed a bit.
“Stop it!” she muttered as he leaped on her, crushing her against him in a patented hug that was sure to leave no bone intact by the time he was finished. “You’re crushing me, senpai! We talked about this, remember?”
“Sorry,” Tamaki said sheepishly as he drew back. “I forgot.”
“What was it you wanted to talk to me about?” she asked to change the subject, and now it was Tamaki’s turn to go red. He blushed and looked away and Haruhi was actually worried for a moment. “Senpai?”
“Well… Haruhi… I actually have something to ask you about…”
“Go ahead,” Haruhi told him, taking a long sip of her soda. Tamaki gulped down about half of his champagne and then took a deep breath, taking one of her hands gently. He stared into her eyes for a long moment and then reached into his shirt pocket. He turned more to face her on the sofa cushion, his indigo eyes locked carefully with hers, trembling like petals in the wind.
“Haruhi… will you marry me?” he asked softly, pulling out a ring that glittered and gleamed in the candlelight. For a moment Haruhi was frozen stock-still and all she could do was stare from Tamaki to the ring and then back again before she found her voice.
“N--no…” she stammered, and immediately his face fell.
“No?” he asked, looking at her as though he didn’t really believe it was possible. Haruhi could see his chin quivering, his eyes moistening, and his hands staring to shake as he shoved the ring almost viciously back into his shirt pocket. “You won’t marry me?”
“Not right now,” Haruhi said quickly. “I mean we… we’re still in high school, Tamaki-senpai. We’re too young to get married. I’m not saying that I don’t… ever want to marry you. I’m just saying that I’m not ready for that right now.”
“Does age really matter?” he asked softly, taking her hand and gazing deep into her eyes.
“It’s not about age. It’s about the fact that I’m not ready to get married. I wasn’t ready the last time you brought it up and I’m not ready now. Be patient,” she scolded quietly, watching him alternate between hope and misery. “I love you, Tamaki-senpai. I’m sure about that. And someday, I’m sure I’ll want to marry you. But right now, I think things are fine just the way they are,” she smiled slightly at him, placing her hands gently on his chest and simply leaving them there, feeling his heart beating beneath them.
“You’ll want to marry me someday?” he asked softly, as though lulled by her simple touch.
“Yes. I guess it’s probably pretty selfish but right now, I don’t want to get married because… I love the way things are between us. I don’t want them to change just yet. Even if it’s a change for the better… I’m not ready yet.”
“Things are wonderful, aren’t they?” Tamaki asked, his fingers playing with her hair gently as he swept one strong arm around her and pulled her closer to his chest. Almost terrifyingly gentle, his fingers caressed her cheek, tracing the line of her temple, jaw, and then throat. He took her face in his hands and simply gazed at her for a moment. “I love you, Haruhi,” he whispered, his skin dancing hues of gold and orange in the candlelight.
“I love you too,” she said softly as he bent to kiss her, placing small, fluttering kisses on her lips and then kissing her fuller. He ran his thumb along her lips and she kissed it before he captured her mouth with his again. The firelight flickered in his eyes before he closed them. She let him caress the small mounds of her breasts through her shirt and his breath came hot and shallow against her neck.
“I’ll be patient and wait for you,” he whispered. “Until the day you’re ready to marry me. And I promise I‘ll love you always.”
Haruhi smiled and closed her eyes, letting him kiss her all he wanted and letting his hands wander much more than she would normally allow. Tonight was the perfect kind of night to truly let him show her his feelings, and he seemed intent to do just that. As the candles melted low and their light glinted on his bare, flawless skin, Haruhi let herself be content.
He may have been ridiculously idealistic, but she wouldn’t have it any other way… because he was idealistically hers.
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: implied sex, MAJOR manga spoilers
Summary: After Tamaki's actions in Boston, Haruhi learns that she still has a lot to learn about love.
Author's Notes: set after the manga's ending. Written for ouran_contest's "Ideal" theme.
The preview image was colored by nishi_bee... I just cropped it to use as a preview image for this and added the credit text to it. I hope that's okay! To see more of nishi_bee's fantastic coloring from chapter 83, click here
If anyone wants to see the cut-out lemon for this fic, just let me know in the comments and I'll fix it up and post it ^^
“Please, Haruhi?”
“I said no! Get out of here!” Haruhi snapped, a vein pulsing in her temple as she moved over to the ‘door of love’ that connected their apartments and opened it, pointing toward his apartment that was visible on the other side. “I’m sorry, senpai, but I have homework to do.”
“But I want to spend some time with you!” Tamaki wailed. “I never get to see you at all except for meals and on the train to school!” he was waving his arms around and he was grumping and whining, and Haruhi had had just about enough. “Can’t I stay for--”
“No…” Haruhi told him firmly, shoving him toward his own apartment. “Get out, please. I have a lot of work to do…” Haruhi had to admit that though she enjoyed, occasionally, being so close to her senpai in proximity, the living arrangement was anything but ideal. Most of the time, he got in her way and he made it impossible for her to do things like study. In the six months they had been in Boston, he had singlehandedly turned her study time from something she enjoyed doing to something stressful.
“But I actually have something really important I need to talk to you about!” Tamaki gasped as she shoved him over the threshold. “Please!”
“NO!” Haruhi snapped, closing the door in his face. “Let me do my homework and then maybe I’ll consider letting you back through!” she locked the door and sighed heavily, turning away. Kyouya had warned her it was a terrible idea to move the furniture away from the door, but she hadn’t listened. Now she was regretting it. “And you’re abusing your privileges!” she told him through the door. “Keep doing this, and you’ll have to use the foyer like everyone else!”
She heard him whimper and she sighed softly, running a hand across her hair in frustration and moving toward her desk to do her homework. She loved him, that much she was certain of, but there were times when she questioned whether she could be around him without losing her sanity.
Homework occupied most of her thoughts for the next hour, but whenever she had a moment to think in between History essay questions, she would find her mind wandering to Tamaki. She felt guilty, that much was clear, and it was enough for her to push her workbook away and lean back in her chair. The door to Tamaki’s part of the apartment was visible through her bedroom door, and she spent several moments staring at it. She glanced at the clock only to find that it was nearly eight. He was normally never quiet this long.
“Maybe I was a little hard on him…” she muttered to herself, getting up and moving over to the door. One little apology wouldn’t hurt anything, she supposed. Almost timidly, she approached the door, and she knocked twice on the wood.
“Senpai?” she asked, leaning toward the door to check for any sound of movement on the other side. There was none, and she was worried for a moment for the sake of her normally rambunctious lover. Unlocking the door slowly, she pushed it open and walked cautiously into the apartment on the other side, hoping she wasn’t intruding.
Haruhi had rarely been into Tamaki’s part of the apartment; normally, whenever she had free time, he came to her. It smelled subtly of roses and of the ridiculously expensive cologne that Tamaki liked to wear, and for moment she simply stood there breathing it in and glancing around her. It was as though she had walked into an entirely different world.
The lights were all off in the apartment, and it would have been difficult to see if it weren’t for the scores of candles that burned on every available surface. As she stepped further into the apartment, the smell of roses intensified. It became clear almost immediately that rose petals rested on everything, and fully intact roses sat in vases of water around the candles. It was like a flower shop had exploded in Tamaki’s apartment, and she was concerned.
“Senpai… was there some sort of accident?” she asked, baffled. All thought of apologizing had been chased from her mind by the strangeness of the situation.
“Why no, my sweet!” Tamaki’s voice came from somewhere nearby, and she jumped in surprise, shrieking just a bit. “This is all part of my wonderful plan for our evening together! Perfectly calculated to give you the best night of your life!”
“Oh really?” Haruhi was beginning to wish she had simply gone to bed.
“But of course!” Tamaki came out of the dimness of the kitchen, carrying two glasses in one hand and a large glass bottle in the other. “Champagne, Haruhi?”
“I’m sixteen, Tamaki-senpai,” she reminded him. “And federal law here states that I’m not legally allowed to consume alcohol until I’m 21.”
“Oh, Haruhi,” Tamaki said with a chuckle, sweeping over to her and setting the glasses down on his coffee table, pouring some champagne into each and handing her one. “Always following the law! Live a little, for once!”
“No, thanks,” Haruhi muttered, glaring into her glass. The champagne was pale yellow and seemed to glow in the candlelight. She set the glass down on the coffee table and turned around, toward the open door. “I’m going to bed.”
“Haruhi, wait!” Tamaki wailed, setting down his glass and bounding after her. Midway between the sofa and the door he tripped and he and Haruhi toppled onto the hardwood, Haruhi cursing softly under her breath and Tamaki apologizing profusely. They sat up, Haruhi rubbing her head, and Tamaki blushed a bit, looking sorry. “Sorry I crushed you,” he as good as whispered.
“That’s fine,” Haruhi muttered, letting him help her to her feet. “But I’m still going to bed.”
“Why?” Tamaki asked, his voice bordering on a whine. “I thought things were going so well!”
Of course he did, Haruhi mused with a sigh. The boy flat out refused to see the things that were right in front of him if they were unpleasant. He was such an optimist it was almost scary at times. When he signed letters, she was surprised he didn’t sign them “idealistically” instead of “sincerely”. She could see it now, she thought with a wry smile.
Dear Haruhi,
I seem to have lost my mind tonight.
If you see it, please return it to me.
Idealistically yours,
Tamaki Suoh
“Because this is ridiculous,” she replied finally, turning for the door. “You cover your entire apartment with roses and candles and offer someone under the legal age limit alcohol when they have classes in the morning… it’s just too much.”
“I can get rid of all of it!” Tamaki said, sounding desperate, and his warm hand fell gently on her shoulder. “Please don’t go, Haruhi! I’m sorry if I overwhelmed you, but I wasn’t meaning to annoy you, I promise! I just have something very important I want to say to you, and I wanted everything to be special!”
“Next time, if there’s something you want to say to me,” Haruhi began straightforwardly, looking up into his eyes. “Then just say it to me. There’s no need to make a big fuss about it.”
“I know,” Tamaki said, looking a little embarrassed. “I guess sometimes I forget that you’re… you. I mean… every other girl would have enjoyed this kind of gesture, so I wasn’t really thinking. But I know you’re not every other girl, Haruhi.”
“I guess, in a way, it was kind of nice,” Haruhi said carefully. “That you took the time to do all of this for me, even if you went crazy with it and acted like a guy from some romance novel.”
“Does that mean that you’ll stay?” he asked softly, and his eyes glimmered a bit with hope in the flickering candlelight.
“For a while,” Haruhi acquiesced, nodding a bit. Tamaki barely held back a squeal of what sounded like joy and took her hand, leading her over to the sofa. He set her down and then took her glass of champagne in his hand. She watched him pour it down the sink (she flinched a little at the waste; knowing him, it was probably horrendously expensive) and dig around in the refrigerator until he found some soda to replace it with.
“Is Sprite okay?” he asked cheerfully, and Haruhi nodded. Tamaki stepped back to the sofa and handed her the glass, which was now filled with the clear, bubbling liquid. For a moment, Haruhi wished she would have thought to sample the champagne. Tamaki sat beside her and picked up his own glass, sipping at his champagne, and she drank her own soda slowly, feeling a bit ridiculous to be drinking it out of a champagne flute.
“So, you read romance novels, then?” Tamaki asked after a comfortable silence, bringing up her earlier reference, and Haruhi choked just a bit on her soda.
“Maybe once,” she admitted, scowling into her glass, and Tamaki laughed.
“I’m not here to judge you,” he reminded her softly, and he lifted his hand to brush a lock of hair behind her ear and then looked deep-- a little too deep-- into her eyes. Their love was still innocent physically, but there was still somehow something erotic in the way he always looked at her in these moments. “And you look beautiful, by the way.”
Haruhi resisted the urge to flush. It had been six months-- six months since she confessed her love to him at the airport, six months since he had whispered those three words back in the fountain, six months since had become a real, honest-to-god couple-- but his compliments still always set her off balance. She was wearing a yellow ruffled vest he had bought her over her striped tank top and denim shorts, and she didn’t feel particularly beautiful. However, it was a skill of Tamaki’s to see beauty in everything, and she wasn’t about to make him feel bad.
“Uh… thanks,” she muttered, blushing just the faintest shade of pink and hoping the candlelight would hide it. Tamaki had a keen eye, however.
“Oh, Haruhi, you’re so shy when I compliment you! It’s… it’s cute!” he gushed, and Haruhi sighed a bit.
“Stop it!” she muttered as he leaped on her, crushing her against him in a patented hug that was sure to leave no bone intact by the time he was finished. “You’re crushing me, senpai! We talked about this, remember?”
“Sorry,” Tamaki said sheepishly as he drew back. “I forgot.”
“What was it you wanted to talk to me about?” she asked to change the subject, and now it was Tamaki’s turn to go red. He blushed and looked away and Haruhi was actually worried for a moment. “Senpai?”
“Well… Haruhi… I actually have something to ask you about…”
“Go ahead,” Haruhi told him, taking a long sip of her soda. Tamaki gulped down about half of his champagne and then took a deep breath, taking one of her hands gently. He stared into her eyes for a long moment and then reached into his shirt pocket. He turned more to face her on the sofa cushion, his indigo eyes locked carefully with hers, trembling like petals in the wind.
“Haruhi… will you marry me?” he asked softly, pulling out a ring that glittered and gleamed in the candlelight. For a moment Haruhi was frozen stock-still and all she could do was stare from Tamaki to the ring and then back again before she found her voice.
“N--no…” she stammered, and immediately his face fell.
“No?” he asked, looking at her as though he didn’t really believe it was possible. Haruhi could see his chin quivering, his eyes moistening, and his hands staring to shake as he shoved the ring almost viciously back into his shirt pocket. “You won’t marry me?”
“Not right now,” Haruhi said quickly. “I mean we… we’re still in high school, Tamaki-senpai. We’re too young to get married. I’m not saying that I don’t… ever want to marry you. I’m just saying that I’m not ready for that right now.”
“Does age really matter?” he asked softly, taking her hand and gazing deep into her eyes.
“It’s not about age. It’s about the fact that I’m not ready to get married. I wasn’t ready the last time you brought it up and I’m not ready now. Be patient,” she scolded quietly, watching him alternate between hope and misery. “I love you, Tamaki-senpai. I’m sure about that. And someday, I’m sure I’ll want to marry you. But right now, I think things are fine just the way they are,” she smiled slightly at him, placing her hands gently on his chest and simply leaving them there, feeling his heart beating beneath them.
“You’ll want to marry me someday?” he asked softly, as though lulled by her simple touch.
“Yes. I guess it’s probably pretty selfish but right now, I don’t want to get married because… I love the way things are between us. I don’t want them to change just yet. Even if it’s a change for the better… I’m not ready yet.”
“Things are wonderful, aren’t they?” Tamaki asked, his fingers playing with her hair gently as he swept one strong arm around her and pulled her closer to his chest. Almost terrifyingly gentle, his fingers caressed her cheek, tracing the line of her temple, jaw, and then throat. He took her face in his hands and simply gazed at her for a moment. “I love you, Haruhi,” he whispered, his skin dancing hues of gold and orange in the candlelight.
“I love you too,” she said softly as he bent to kiss her, placing small, fluttering kisses on her lips and then kissing her fuller. He ran his thumb along her lips and she kissed it before he captured her mouth with his again. The firelight flickered in his eyes before he closed them. She let him caress the small mounds of her breasts through her shirt and his breath came hot and shallow against her neck.
“I’ll be patient and wait for you,” he whispered. “Until the day you’re ready to marry me. And I promise I‘ll love you always.”
Haruhi smiled and closed her eyes, letting him kiss her all he wanted and letting his hands wander much more than she would normally allow. Tonight was the perfect kind of night to truly let him show her his feelings, and he seemed intent to do just that. As the candles melted low and their light glinted on his bare, flawless skin, Haruhi let herself be content.
He may have been ridiculously idealistic, but she wouldn’t have it any other way… because he was idealistically hers.