(no subject)
No one can change your past or what you've done.
But you can live and learn from it..
Lately I've been thinking a lot about my past. Not too far back about it. Like my days at WnW with Jamie, the suwannee trips with Angela and Jamie in my canoe, even our church trip to Valdosta. I miss how it was the three of us. I miss the three of us! I grew up with those two and now it's kinda like we've grown apart into different worlds.
Jamie now has a family. A gorgeous baby boy and a loving fiance.
Angela has a great job and a boyfriend who cares deeply for her and wants that future.
Me?
I'm still searching.
I seem to always be the sore thumb. The one who stuck out in the crowd and was first noticed and last to ever receive anything. I have no luck with guys or just plan happiness at that matter. My first love loves another girl. My job that I use to love going to everynight I know dread. And what I want to do in life I don't even know. I'm enrolled to start at MMI in late Feb. but weither I really want to go is still up in the air. I know what I want to do and really school isn't apart of that.
I'm young and as people would say I've got my whole life ahead of me. But whats the point of looking so far ahead if your not even sure of whats going on in the present time? No one knows when things will come to an end or even when something great could come to a start. So people say to live life to the fullest. Well how am I supposed to do that if I'm trying to look into my future and watch what I do now and days cause it could affect that? People need to stop thinking and just start living. Start doing what you feel is right and stop regreting. Nothing is worth the pain and sorrow if is was worth the joy and happiness it gave you just before.
All I want is to be happy.
And at the moment I'm just lost. I've been hurt soo much this past year. Nothing has gone right. Honestly not one thing has. The year started off on a bad note and it's most likely going to end that way. I've got to accept that and just hope for the better in '09.
sometimes i wonder why i can't take my own advice.
and it's then that i realize i'm afraid to actually give up and show that i need help..
But you can live and learn from it..
Lately I've been thinking a lot about my past. Not too far back about it. Like my days at WnW with Jamie, the suwannee trips with Angela and Jamie in my canoe, even our church trip to Valdosta. I miss how it was the three of us. I miss the three of us! I grew up with those two and now it's kinda like we've grown apart into different worlds.
Jamie now has a family. A gorgeous baby boy and a loving fiance.
Angela has a great job and a boyfriend who cares deeply for her and wants that future.
Me?
I'm still searching.
I seem to always be the sore thumb. The one who stuck out in the crowd and was first noticed and last to ever receive anything. I have no luck with guys or just plan happiness at that matter. My first love loves another girl. My job that I use to love going to everynight I know dread. And what I want to do in life I don't even know. I'm enrolled to start at MMI in late Feb. but weither I really want to go is still up in the air. I know what I want to do and really school isn't apart of that.
I'm young and as people would say I've got my whole life ahead of me. But whats the point of looking so far ahead if your not even sure of whats going on in the present time? No one knows when things will come to an end or even when something great could come to a start. So people say to live life to the fullest. Well how am I supposed to do that if I'm trying to look into my future and watch what I do now and days cause it could affect that? People need to stop thinking and just start living. Start doing what you feel is right and stop regreting. Nothing is worth the pain and sorrow if is was worth the joy and happiness it gave you just before.
All I want is to be happy.
And at the moment I'm just lost. I've been hurt soo much this past year. Nothing has gone right. Honestly not one thing has. The year started off on a bad note and it's most likely going to end that way. I've got to accept that and just hope for the better in '09.
sometimes i wonder why i can't take my own advice.
and it's then that i realize i'm afraid to actually give up and show that i need help..