Sometimes I Just Can't...
I wake up in the morning wondering if anything will be different. Will I get any surprises along the way? Will I make a new friend? My cheeks haven't been dry in a long, long time. I cry like a baby.
I honestly never felt this alone and different in my whole life.
Sometimes I can't even keep my eyes open. It's getting so hard to hide it more and more. I used to be so good at it. I'm just getting weaker.
I come home and my room doesn't feel like mine. This family doesn't feel like mine. I wish I could show more than anger or frusteration with them. I wish I knew I loved them. But I don't know.
Sometimes I wish I knew my father better, but he died almost 11 years ago. I cried. I still do. I have no reason to. But I don't know why.
I don't understand how some people do it...
I don't know how you deal with me and I'm afraid it's only a matter of time until you leave me too. I have the inability to make anyone stay. I guess I really don't have much to offer afterall.
And I miss you so much even though I shouldn't. I'm tired of hurting. Every word I say, I hold myself back. And every word I said to you, was not from my brain or my heart. I just don't know. I really do hate forever. I just want to see you again.
There's some days where I wouldn't mind not waking up. I always said I just wasn't cut out for living. I'm dead scared of never getting a break.
I don't know what's the point of this. I'm just a killjoy.
Let's face it, no one could love a head case.
Alisha
I honestly never felt this alone and different in my whole life.
Sometimes I can't even keep my eyes open. It's getting so hard to hide it more and more. I used to be so good at it. I'm just getting weaker.
I come home and my room doesn't feel like mine. This family doesn't feel like mine. I wish I could show more than anger or frusteration with them. I wish I knew I loved them. But I don't know.
Sometimes I wish I knew my father better, but he died almost 11 years ago. I cried. I still do. I have no reason to. But I don't know why.
I don't understand how some people do it...
I don't know how you deal with me and I'm afraid it's only a matter of time until you leave me too. I have the inability to make anyone stay. I guess I really don't have much to offer afterall.
And I miss you so much even though I shouldn't. I'm tired of hurting. Every word I say, I hold myself back. And every word I said to you, was not from my brain or my heart. I just don't know. I really do hate forever. I just want to see you again.
There's some days where I wouldn't mind not waking up. I always said I just wasn't cut out for living. I'm dead scared of never getting a break.
I don't know what's the point of this. I'm just a killjoy.
Let's face it, no one could love a head case.
Alisha