My more contemplative side...
My more contemplative side (read: overanalytical side) is getting on my nerves.
I take things which could be great, and I turn them into something else. A sign of being alone. A sign of being unattractive. A sign of being boring. A sign of being (insert negative adjective here).
This entry should say something like; "OMG Black Tie was great!" but when I was settling down to sleep on the floor that night, I felt alone. I know that only one pair sharing a bed was a couple, and that perhaps this placement was even harder on the other pair, or at least one of the two, because they are not a couple whether it is desired by one or not. But still, that doesn't lessen my own feelings. I spent that night going from group to group, friend to friend, and I didn't really feel fulfilled. Let's blame the wine. I think I was having fun the whole time, I just think that I ended things with thinking and that was a bad end to a good night.
Today I was utterly unproductive. Once we made it back to Salem, I ate brunch and then watched House. I talked to Meghann too, which is always nice, though I had almost nothing to say. "Yeah, I went to Black Tie" yawn. It did kind of feel like a prom. But with alcohol. It was the same for me, no date, lots of friends, and somehow unfulfilling.
I also got motivated to go to the Big Kahuna to see Jason, Espi, and Middle perform. They were really good, really energetic, and I'm glad I went. I only really knew Jodie, Jason, and Andrew, although I had met Espi and Middle before too. It was a little awkward, because nobody else went with me. Sad. I caught the end of the show, but I may go back later tonight, or I may go to the Grotto. I feel like I'd be more comfortable at the Grotto, and comfort is something I am kind of seeking right now. I know that it could solve more problems to venture out into the world and take chances - but it is hard to take chances, feeling sort of melancholy.
I think I am going to the Disco.
That is all?
Haha.
I take things which could be great, and I turn them into something else. A sign of being alone. A sign of being unattractive. A sign of being boring. A sign of being (insert negative adjective here).
This entry should say something like; "OMG Black Tie was great!" but when I was settling down to sleep on the floor that night, I felt alone. I know that only one pair sharing a bed was a couple, and that perhaps this placement was even harder on the other pair, or at least one of the two, because they are not a couple whether it is desired by one or not. But still, that doesn't lessen my own feelings. I spent that night going from group to group, friend to friend, and I didn't really feel fulfilled. Let's blame the wine. I think I was having fun the whole time, I just think that I ended things with thinking and that was a bad end to a good night.
Today I was utterly unproductive. Once we made it back to Salem, I ate brunch and then watched House. I talked to Meghann too, which is always nice, though I had almost nothing to say. "Yeah, I went to Black Tie" yawn. It did kind of feel like a prom. But with alcohol. It was the same for me, no date, lots of friends, and somehow unfulfilling.
I also got motivated to go to the Big Kahuna to see Jason, Espi, and Middle perform. They were really good, really energetic, and I'm glad I went. I only really knew Jodie, Jason, and Andrew, although I had met Espi and Middle before too. It was a little awkward, because nobody else went with me. Sad. I caught the end of the show, but I may go back later tonight, or I may go to the Grotto. I feel like I'd be more comfortable at the Grotto, and comfort is something I am kind of seeking right now. I know that it could solve more problems to venture out into the world and take chances - but it is hard to take chances, feeling sort of melancholy.
I think I am going to the Disco.
That is all?
Haha.