(no subject)
my grandpa's dying. He's got maybe a week at the most. He's been throwing up blood and doctors think he's had a bleeding ulcer, again...but he's 88. he doesn't want the surgery they can offer, he doesn't even want the IV's
*sigh*.
almost all of the family is up or flying up soon just to be here. it kinda...sucks. i don't know how my mom'll take it, or how i'll actually feel when he's actually dead...
but i don't know if it's worse to walk into the hospital room and see him like a holocaust victim, he's that thin, lost 15, 20 lbs over last few days and know he's going to be dead.
it's weird. my paternal grandpa died when i was 11, or 12...i don't remember him or his death very well...i'm just not prepared for this.
....
it's just gonna be a bitchy, pain-in-the-ass week in general. i wanna write. i wanna do nothing. i'd like to go home and have several, if not one too many beers.
i want it to be friday, dammit, so i know i've got money, at least.
fuck. i need a goddamned credit card so that when i DO have no money, i can at least get gas and make it to work...
argh. i want to feel connected, again.
*sigh*.
almost all of the family is up or flying up soon just to be here. it kinda...sucks. i don't know how my mom'll take it, or how i'll actually feel when he's actually dead...
but i don't know if it's worse to walk into the hospital room and see him like a holocaust victim, he's that thin, lost 15, 20 lbs over last few days and know he's going to be dead.
it's weird. my paternal grandpa died when i was 11, or 12...i don't remember him or his death very well...i'm just not prepared for this.
....
it's just gonna be a bitchy, pain-in-the-ass week in general. i wanna write. i wanna do nothing. i'd like to go home and have several, if not one too many beers.
i want it to be friday, dammit, so i know i've got money, at least.
fuck. i need a goddamned credit card so that when i DO have no money, i can at least get gas and make it to work...
argh. i want to feel connected, again.