midweek entry
It's hump day ya'll! This week has been pretty uneventful. It snowed lots over here, and I worked Tuesday and Wednesday. Hours have been cut at work, so this week I only have 20 hours. I guess it's better than nothing. It could be worse. Some employees at my work only get 1 shift a week or none at all. Whoever said working for a major corporation was good, is very wrong. Though it is January and not as much action goes on at work after Christmas/holidays/etc.
I bought a bible over the weekend. It's very beautiful! It's an English Standard Version, but the bible is called "Illuminated Bible: Art Journaling Edition". There's a lot of gold writing within, with some inspirational quotes around. I'm hoping to start reading it from the beginning and hopefully finishing by the end of the year. *fingers crossed* I now see why my mom was so religious and had a strong faith in God. I'm beginning to see the benefit in believing in something, and it's having a pretty positive impact within my life. I still have bad thoughts (depression) most days, but it's getting a bit better.
Yesterday I had a breakdown after watching a show (A Million Little Things) my friend Anika recommended to me. The show started off with a death (by suicide), and it was had because I kept thinking about my own depression and thoughts of suicide. Everyday I struggle worrying about if I'm worthy enough for happiness. Worthy enough for love, friendship, etc. I call it the demon inside, it tells me so many negative things and it comes around at least once a month like clockwork.
Anyway, got to go! BYE