i really hate this day.... and the days that follow usually suck just as bad... =(
I really do. All I want to do is sleep all day, get stupid when I am awake, and then go back to sleep. I don't want to go to work but I guess it'll give me a chance to not think about it though when I get home I know I will be. I just miss him so much. Next year it'll be on the exact day that he passed. I'll never forget it either, just as I was on my way to get in the car to go visit him, mom came home, gave Mike and I the news and that was it for me. Not only did I fall literally straight to the ground, unable to move a part of me died too. My heart aches for him every day and more so on this particular one. I just want to be alone, stay in bed and dream of him. But I can't. I have to go to a job that still hasn't paid me, for a closing shift that I know will have a lot of returns and I don't want to do. I wanna wear his cross he gave me for my confirmation that I just can't find any where. All I have are his pictures in my room to look upon when I come home later.
I hate this day. I really do. And I lied, I don't want to really be alone. I want someone to comfort me because I know when he went, he was alone. He called the night before pleading for us to come and help him but my mom thought he was just being his crazy Uncle Mimi self. Unfortunately though, he wasn't, he was dying. He was made to leave this earth alone and I only wish I would had made it to him sooner that day instead of letting others kick their feet waiting to go. Then at least he wouldn't had been alone and I could've had the chance to say good-bye.
=(
ti amo sempre zio mimi
Oct. 6, 1929(?) to August 15, 2000