Comments | suffolkgirl: BSG fic - Picking up the Pieces 3 / 12

suffolkgirl

BSG fic - Picking up the Pieces 3 / 12

Nov 30, 2006 08:08

Chapter Three

“Kara’s back.”

Lee nearly dropped the report he was signing on the floor. He looked up at his father in surprise.

“What?”

“I said Kara’s back in the fleet.”

His father sounded casual, but Lee knew him too well to be fooled. He knew those intent eyes were watching him carefully, and he forced himself to keep his voice equally ( Read more... )

bsg fic - picking up the pieces

Comments 10

etilia76 November 30 2006, 08:33:57 UTC

I love the conversation between Adama and Lee - it is so very them and so very typical father/son. Of course, Lee don't want to speak about what happens - to his father of all people. I feel with him, some topics just aren't meant to be discussed with parents ( ... )

suffolkgirl November 30 2006, 09:00:43 UTC

Thanks for your comments about Dee, that was fairly much what I was trying to get across, so glad it worked. Especially as that was the first Lee/Dee in relationship scene I've ever written.

but just for the chance of a shirtless bar fight with three pretty boys ;)

Damn I missed an opportunity there!! Maybe next story :)

jatnj November 30 2006, 12:13:07 UTC

Who's complaining? Of course Kara and Lee will meet up eventually.

As much as I hate Dee, I'm glad Lee had her after Kara broke his heart.

This was a great chapter. The scene between Bill and Lee was very tense. I could feel Lee seething at his father's stubborness and Bill's frustration at Lee's.

As always, I'm looking forward to more.

suffolkgirl November 30 2006, 13:18:23 UTC

Glad you liked the Bill and Lee scene. All Bill wants is for Lee to tell him what's wrong so he can help! Although he is helping in his own way by sending Kara to Pegasus, I think he's hoping pushing them together will sort things out.

jatnj November 30 2006, 22:07:11 UTC

I like when Bill plays cupid. :D

picking up the pieces 3 anonymous November 30 2006, 18:55:45 UTC

I enjoyed this chapter very much.

The father/son conversation was spot on. I could feel the tension in Lee coming off my screen as Bill tried to get him to say what had happened with Kara.

The line where Helo asked Lee if he wanted to go beat up Anders cracked me up!

Dee does give good advice, but I chuckled at her talking about how Bill "works" (ie sending Kara over), esp in light of her comments in Exodus.

I absolutely cannot wait to see the Lee/Kara confrontation!!!

Great job!!!!

mick

Re: picking up the pieces 3 suffolkgirl November 30 2006, 19:37:01 UTC

Glad you enjoyed it. I'm glad you liked the Bill/Lee scene as you write a lot about that relationship yourself. I haven't written much between them so I'm glad it worked for you.

Yeah, Helo's definitely the light relief in this chapter!

I'm trying to remember what Dee said in Exodus now...I drifted off during some of her long speeches! I was basing the scene here slightly on the one in Occupation because they were both Lee and Dee discussing his dad.

(The comment has been removed)

suffolkgirl November 30 2006, 20:24:24 UTC

Glad you like Dee. As I said, this is the first scene I've written with them in a relationship, so I thought about it a lot before writing. I think people tend to be attracted to qualities in others they wish they had, and I could see Lee being attracted to Dee's serenity for that reason.

*warning* I might start thinking that Lee is better off with her than with Kara!

I'd better work hard then to convince you otherwise :)

he believes his own propaganda. Here, apparently, he's a little wiser...

Well, he is over this particular issue. I'm afraid the self-delusion starts to kick in again later.

I wonder - did you work hard on making it flow this easily, or did you just sit one day and wrote it like that?Trying to remember because I wrote this about 3 weeks ago now. I start by planning scenes out in my head - the dialogue anyway - usually when I'm walking or washing up or something! - then I sit down and write them out, and then when I've finished the story I go back and add or cut bits if necessary, change the adjectives to ( ... )

nytel December 16 2006, 22:29:19 UTC

I loved all the characterizations in this. Adama was great, and I think you got the father-son vibe down really well. Also, the part about Lee not being able to explain it to his dad, because he couldn't even explain it to himself... perfect.

And Helo! I love Helo. Always have, always will. :)

In short this chapter was just awesome.