(no subject)
So... what have I been up to? There's alot going on right now. And honestly... im scared. I am afraid of what could happen. And I am totally on my own this time. I cant even pretend that ..someone.. is at least thinking about me.... because I know its not happening. I dont know where things went wrong, but I think I lost a friend this week and it kills me. I guess its really no ones fault but there just this big empty space in my heart and I have no idea how to fill it. I mean... i could drink until i forget the pain, but thats going to wear off. I can put other people there.... but its not the same. I just wish I could go back in time and do things differently so this didnt happen. I'm not sure whats going on with anything anymore. More and more things are falling apart but i try to just put on my smile and pretend im not dying inside. Its been really hard around here the past few months. And everyday it gets harder. I want someone I can just run to and be held and just cry and them listen. I dont want to be judged. I just want to feel loved. People say I love too much. Maybe I do. I guess I love to love the ones that love me the least. I dont know where im going with this either. ahhh... i just want everything to stop.
I went to my sisters thing at school that I helped her make a dance to. It was really fun. 3 hours long... but fun. I wish I could be on stage again. Singing, dancing, playing piano..... I need that again.
I went to my sisters thing at school that I helped her make a dance to. It was really fun. 3 hours long... but fun. I wish I could be on stage again. Singing, dancing, playing piano..... I need that again.