Daily Post 42
I last posted in January.
And since then coronavirus has knocked out every opportunity that I we have to be social, and have been spending a lot more time at home.
It’s strange that the last time that I wrote on here, I was talking about my Nana dying. Well, a few weeks ago, her husband, my grandad, died. He died at home, had a heart attack. He was found by my uncle James. The doctor believes he dropped down and hit his head. It’s been horrible. With the coronavirus outbreak, my Grandad was in the ‘at risk’ category, so we hadn’t visited. My mum, who went up every week to visit, and to help clean things he couldn’t reach, but hadn’t done so since this outbreak started. My uncle James would drop off food every other day, and they would speak on the phone. There is this feeling of guilt, that we should have ignored the warnings and visited anyway. It’s horrible. The funeral happened and only 5 people went.
This week I have also had a flare-up of my tendinitis whilst at work. Because, I am still working, i have worked throughout this coronavirus lockdown. I haven’t had a problem with my hands for a long time, but they were so sore. I kept dropping everything. And because my mental health has been shit, I get upset because I feel like I am letting people down. It’s like I am not doing my job properly.
I have spent a lot of time offline, and been reading a lot. I haven’t got the attention span to watch movies or anything. It’s pretty frustrating. I have my maths course with the open university starting again soon, and I’m pretty nervous. I made a pigs ear of it last time. I just hope I can focus this time.