Fell Behind A Bit
2017 was a bit of a disaster, creative wise. I only posted 11 entries on here last year. (Oops!) And, whilst I have every intention to pull myself into gear in 2018, I'll be honest and say that the year has started off a little bit of a total cuntbag shitfest.
Why?
Well, just before Christmas, my 11 year old (second??)cousin, Owen, was out playing with his friends, when he felt really sick. His dad, my first cousin, took him to the doctors, and some blood tests were done, then sent them home. A few days later, Owen was complaining of chest pains, and went back to the doctors, this time with his mum. The doctor phone for an ambulance, saying it looked like Owen was experiencing a heart attack. He was taken to the Queen Margaret in Dunfermline, where they got him stabilised before transferring him to the Sick Kids, in Edinburgh. They weren't able to bring him round, as his heart rate started dropping when they tried, so they transferred him again, this time to a more specialised unit in Glasgow.
Glasgow is where he stayed. The doctors tried their hardest, and Owen kept on fighting. But on Hogmanay, he had a second heart attack, followed by a stroke. My dad got a call last night, saying that Dylan, my first cousin, and his wife, Angie, were advised about switching off the life support. Owen's organs were failing and he had substantial brain damage, from the stroke. Today at 5pm, the life support was switched off, and Owen died.
I am writing this here, because writing has always helped when I feel lost, and I feel really lost right now. I can't put into any sense where an 11 year old boy dies. It is a thing you read about, not something that actually happens to someone you know. He never even got to go to High School, they were planning his first holiday abroad for the summer, his Christmas presents are still under the tree. It is so unbelievably awful.
I grew up with my cousins, when I was younger. We all got older, and lived our own lives, and maybe got more distant than maybe we should, but that happens. Dylan and Angie have 3 other kids, Owen was the oldest, and I can't even imagine the pain they are going through. It is one of those things where, I would like to show support, but don't want to suffocate them.
The world keeps turning I suppose, and I have to go to work tomorrow. Although, I would really like a pause button, just to give everyone involved the chance to breathe.