too much;
There's just too much going on right now...
I want to spew it all out on the page, but I really can't.
To sum up the last few months:
1) My job situation sucks balls. I am working for a micromanaging person who is 15 years my junior who seems to think that somehow I can't do anything without her holding my hand (I don't know how I've survived the last 25 years of working without her...I don't....swoon! /sarcasm) And she doesn't know *her* new job. And I'm training her replacement, whom I report through...and makes more money than I do. Awesome. And I absolutely *loathe* this job.
I got screened out of a job I wanted (and had done more than half of over the last few years) because I didn't have a degree, and when I grieved that decision our registrar told me that without a degree I lacked "the necessary critical thinking skills and communication skills to do the job".
Tell me *I* don't feel smacked in the face? I'm looking. The sooner I"m out, the better.
2) Paul took a hit at an event in August that tore his major bicep muscle. It took a month to get a friggin' ultrasound. He's been referred to a surgeon. He's depressed, and anxious, about the long term implications.
3) In addition to dealing with the lovely hormonal imbalances of my thyroid doing stupid things...they've also found a mass on my thyroid. I go in for a biopsy next week. Radiation scans were two weeks ago. I've been telling people bit by bit, because I don't want to be that guy who drops the news like a bomb on everyone....I don't think that's fair.
The endocrinologist doesn't think the mass is actually anything to worry about, there are lots of people with growths on their thyroid.....except 8 people in my office have been diagnosed with thyroid cancer in the last 10 years.
So we're both anxious and worried about each other, and ourselves....and I'm so stressed out from work I have no coping mechanisms. So things at home are pretty crappy right now.
I have friends going through worse shit right now. Even though I ache for their sorrow and the loss, my brain is retreating to selfishness, because I think it's just got too much to handle right now.