Wanker Woes
I'm tired of hearing about the same old crap in the news. You know, the shootings at Ft. Hood, that balloon boy thing (can we just sterilize the whole family?), and embellished leggings on the list of holiday must-haves. [shudders]
In an effort to give you some variety, here's some news about penis fractures and what causes them. (The news-worthy stuff they choose to share with us at work is awesome.)
If you don't feel like reading the whole thing, allow me to share a portion of the article that I found enlightening: "A study cited by doctors in the United Kingdom noted an increasing number of male toddlers admitted with penile crush injuries. They attribute this to a growing trend for heavy wooden and ornamental toilet seats."
[twiddles thumbs]
It took me a few minutes to wrap my brain around that one, too. I think I had to read that paragraph at least three times to make sure I understood it correctly. Ornamental toilet seats? What the hell are they made of, heavy metals? Are they jewel-encrusted? And who in their right minds buys an ornamental toilet seat with a little kid in the house? I don't remember anything about being potty trained, but maybe fathers need to tell their sons, "Make sure the toilet seat is in the upright position and stable before you whip it out. And then put it down when you're done so that, in the future, your girlfriend won't fall in."
Though I suppose falling in is better than getting your junk smashed.