I'll Believe In Anything [a Sirius and Remus fanmix] -Act 2-
Full album art, tracklistings, and download links under the cut.
A few months back I found a mix cd that I had made over seven years ago. It was a mix I had put together during the height of my stay in the Sirius/Remus fandom. It got me feeling all nostalgic and I decided to revamp the mix and post it up here. Of course, it the process of the revamp the mix began to take up a life of its own. Very few songs from the original actually made it onto the final mix. It became something brand new.
And then this past week my friend henriettayuki wrote accompanying mini-fic for ever single song like the rockstar she is. She totally blew my mind with her levels of awesome-ness. Seriously, my friends spoil me rotten. (I'm looking at you too, mad_teagirl, for you baked us brownies while myself and henriettayuki were geeking out in our old fandom.)
from sendspace
from my server
I'll Believe In Anything
a story in three acts
Act Two
1. Her Space Holiday - I'll Believe Anything
Give me your eyes
I need sunshine
Your blood, your bones
Your voice, and your ghost
Remus turned to Sirius and grinned.
"Shut up." Sirius shoved him.
"I'm cooking!" Remus shoved him back.
Remus gasped. He was suddenly falling and tumbling over their ragged couch with Sirius half lying on him. The both laughed with sheepish grins. Sirius kissed his forehead and Remus just sighed and smiled.
2. Great Lake Swimmers - Your Rocky Spine
I was lost in the lakes
And the shapes that your body makes
Sirius kissed sweat drenched skin as Remus arched up into him. Soft moans escaped between heavy breathless gasps muffled behind Remus' hand. Sirius pulled Remus' hand away from his mouth and kissed each fingers languidly. "Let me hear you." Remus blushed. Sirius grinned as he leaned in for a kiss, delighting in his name being whispered so lustfully from Remus' lips.
3. The Divine Comedy - A Drinking Song
Back at the house, a bottle is found
And opened in honour of those who have drowned
We're drinking to life, we're drinking to death
We're drinking 'til none of our livers are left
"James! James!" Sirius slipped and spilt his drink. A pair of hands straightened him. He smiled at Remus, who's shirt was growing wet with beer. "Hey," Sirius giggled. Remus smiled; their cheeks both red from drinking.
"Hey." Sirius' hand dropped down Remus' side, his attention now focusing on Remus' pants.
"Sirius!" Peter yelled from across the room with James' weight bearing down on his small stout frame. James' eyes lit up seeing Sirius as if it had been decades.
"Sirius! Sirius!" James yelled and pushed Peter who fell on his butt. "Sirius!" James rushed toward them and slipped on Sirius' spilt beer. "Woah!" James grabbed Sirius' shirt as he fell, pulling Sirius down with him. Remus held onto the bar, letting Sirius fall to the floor with his best friend. Both men groaned as Remus chuckled under his breath and Peter approached pointing and laughing.
4. John Lennon - Stand By Me
When the night has come
And the land is dark
And the moon is the only light we see
No I won't be afraid
No I won't be afraid
Just as long as you stand
Stand by me
“You smell," Remus whispered as he half carried, half dragged Sirius through the park.
"So do you." Sirius buried his nose into Remus' neck. "Very nice..." Sirius bit his neck.
"Ow!" Remus dropped Sirius' arm to grab his neck then Sirius again but not before Sirius pulled them to the ground. They sat on the cement pathway giggling.
"That was fun..."
Remus grinned. "It was." Remus kissed Sirius' nose then picked them both up. "Let's get home."
"Yes! Because we're going to do dirty things! In the butt!" Remus blushed as Sirius laughed loudly. "In the butt!"
"Please shut up."
Sirius chuckled. "Ok."
5. Modest Mouse - Float On
All right
Don't worry
Even if things end up a bit too heavy
We’ll all float on
Sirius' arm hung over Remus' shoulder as Remus looked over the photos of the night. "A baby. Wow. Can you believe it?" Remus remained silent looking over the pictures again. "What you thinking, Moony?"
"That article this morning...about Fabian and Gideon going missing."
Sirius was thoughtful then grinned. "You worry too much." He kissed Remus' cheek then stopped Remus' hand on one of the photos. "God, Lily is getting fat already."
"She's pregnant. Hence the baby shower."
"Yeah... I think James is just fattening her up."
Remus chuckled. "That would be cruel. Even for James."
Sirius laughed. "Yeah...maybe."
Remus laughed loudly.
6. Grizzly Bear - Ready, Able
I’m gonna take a stab at this
Surely we’ll be alright
Make a decision with a kiss
Maybe I have frostbite
Hope I’m ready, able
To make my own good home
Remus closed his eyes. They felt so heavy. He opened them again slowly when he felt cool fingers on his forehead.
"I think your fever is coming down."
"Hm..."
Sirius kissed his forehead. "You'll be fine."
Remus smiled weakly.
7. Nick Cave & Warren Ellis - All Things Beautiful
[INSTRUMENTAL]
James hadn't stopped grinning all evening. "Isn't he beautiful?" James gushed again. Remus smiled but just nodded again. Peter followed his example.
"He's kinda ugly," Sirius stated. Remus elbowed him. "What!? He looks just like the smug bastard."
James' smile beamed. "He does, doesn't he?"
Sirius grinned back and his hand brushed Remus'. "Congrats, James."
None of them could take their eyes off of the small child or wipe the grins off their faces. It was a sign. Things were going to start looking up again. They had to... For Harry's sake. They had to.
8. Radiohead - High and Dry
Two jumps in a week
I bet you think that's pretty clever don't you boy
Flying on your motorcycle
Watching all the ground beneath you drop
Sirius returned smelling like petrol. "Hey," Remus greeted. Sirius smiled briefly before dropping onto the couch. "I made din-"
"I already ate."
Remus stood silently then sat down beside him. Sirius moved his arm to rest it over Remus' shoulder but didn't look at him. "Were you doing Order stuff?"
"Yeah."
Remus rested his head in the crook of Sirius' neck. "Want to tell me about it?" Sirius sighed heavily but said nothing. "Well when you want to, I'm here," Remus whispered.
Sirius' hand on his shoulder squeezed briefly then Sirius stood. "I'm going to bed. I have to head out early again tomorrow."
Remus watched him. "Ok."
Sirius closed the bedroom door behind him and Remus sighed in resignation.
9. The Black Ghosts - Full Moon
In the Full moon's light I listen to the stream
And in between the silence, hear you calling me
Sirius sat outside smoking and staring at the full moon. Remus was out there. The wolf was out there alone with Remus. He was supposed to be there, supposed to be home by now. Three weeks longer than expected and three weeks for that fight to remain raw and fester. All of it, everything, just waiting for his return.
10. Blind Pilot - One Red Thread
And from the minute that the line got drawn
I couldn't see straight to you for nothing
Remus threw the plates down, breaking them in the sink. Sirius jumped.
"Fuck, Remus!"
Remus stared at him. "You can do all this sneaking around bullshit; I won't ask a goddamn thing. But don't you fucking think for a moment that you can push me away and expect me to do nothing about it." Remus paused. "You mean too much to me and I can't let you do that to us."
11. City and Colour - In The Water I Am Beautiful
So strange how everything went wrong so fast
And I hope that this confusion does not last
Because these words might be too little too late
And I am afraid that I have already lost you
Sirius held Remus, their limbs entangled in the sheets and around each other. "What you thinking, Moony?"
Remus smiled at the kiss on his forehead. "I've missed you."
Sirius pulled him closer. "I've missed you too." They held onto each other but neither spoke of the ugly tear. Each just thumbed the cut, memorizing its damage and hoping this would stop the ripping before its spread.
12. Loudon Wainwright III - Natural Disaster
Here comes that thunder
Here comes the rain
I sure hope that lightening don’t strike me again
Cyclones and typhoons, and tornadoes too
Baby they should name a hurricane after you
"Fuck! Shit! Piece of crap!" A loud crash followed. Remus peered outside. Sirius kicked his motorcycle again.
"Hey."
Sirius looked over his shoulder. "Hey...Sorry."
Remus smiled. "What's going on?"
"Piece of shit isn't working again."
Remus dropped his arms over Sirius' shoulders. "Why don't you take a break then?" Sirius grinned as he held Remus' arms to his chest. Remus smiled.
"Maybe I should just sell the piece of junk."
Remus kissed his cheek. "Don't tease."
13. Grizzly Bear - Fix It
Come again all over me
I swear I'll change just wait and see
And if I don't please make amends
With everything we had again
Just fix it for me
Sirius watched Remus wash up for bed. His heart was overwhelmed by the promise of comfort if he could just open his mouth and tell Remus everything. It felt like a crack and a canyon between them. One small jump and he was in Remus' arms; one small jump and he was falling to his death. Remus dried his face and walked into the bedroom. He paused. "I don't like that look."
Sirius grinned. "You love this look. It promises you an exciting night."
"And a sore morning. Don't even try it."
Sirius shrugged. "You win some, you lose some."
Remus laughed. "I hate you sometimes."
Sirius tried to not let his smile falter. But I love you more than I can ever tell you.
14. The National - Cherry Tree
Loose lips sink ships
Loose lips sink ships
Loose lips sink ships
Sirius watched Remus move from one task to another. Remus' lips were moving but the words coming out didn't reach him. Tonight he was meeting Peter. Remus is the traitor. Tonight they were planned to make the switch. Remus is the traitor. Tonight he was saving Lily and James. Tonight he was destroying his love. Remus is the traitor. Lily, James and Harry. He was saving them by destroying this. Destroying this lie. Remus is the traitor. He was saving them from Remus.
"Sirius?"
"Hm?"
"You ok?"
Sirius smiled. "Yeah, love."
Remus smiled back and Sirius felt rather than knew his heart was breaking. He was saving everyone from Remus. No... saving them from his own treacherous heart. He was saving everyone from his own weaknesses. He was the traitor. He was the one who still hoped for everyone to be safe while still craving and clinging to everything that traitorous mouth asked of him.
15. Fat Segal - Whitecap Widow
[INSTRUMENTAL]
Sirius couldn't breathe. This wasn't supposed to happen. It wasn't supposed to end like this. He gave up everything. Everything. It wasn't supposed to be like this! Not after everything he did! Not after everything he sacrificed! Hagrid took little Harry and Sirius silently watched the empty sky. It had been Peter. It had been Peter the whole time. It was never Remus. It had never been Remus. It had always been Peter. It had never been-
Sirius looked down to see the man he once called his friend. He didn't see the passersbys. Nor the rare clear sky that taunted his sorrow. This was for James. This was for Lily. This was for destroying everything. This was for Remus. This was for his wounded pride and their shattered future. This was for the dirty, lying rat.
Sirius drew his wand.
16. Loney, Dear - I Lose It All
Cause I can hear
And I have caused
I can feel what's been lost
It turned so dark
On the way down
Remus stared at the paper blankly. No one delivered the news. He found out from the fucking paper. Potters, dead. Pettigrew, dead. Killed by. Traitor. Betrayed by. Traitor. Dead. Betrayed. Dead. Traitor. Betrayed by. Killed. Sirius Black. Betrayed. Remus felt nothing as the words sunk in deep.
DOWNLOAD THE ALBUM ZIP
from sendspace
from my server
If you would like a link to any of the individual tracks, just ask!
[view the mix on tumblr]
[view the mix on 8tracks]
Act 1 + Act 3
And while you're here, please check out some of the other fandom-y things I've worked on:
more fanmixes + more things harry potter
This Remus and Sirius fanmix was created for you with love by suchaprince. The accompanying fic was written by henriettayuki (who is most certainly my hero for having done so!).