Cockblock adventures from the pegasus galaxy
| Cockblock adventures from the pegasus galaxy | pg-13 | super junior | kyuhyun/donghae | 1773w |
Donghae never saw it coming; Stargate Atlantis AU.
The problem with Donghae was that he never saw it coming.
At first, Kyuhyun thought it was a ruse, another flyboy façade that Donghae draped over himself like a warm Athosian cloak on sea-chilled evenings. But when he came back from the third off-world mission with a brand new wife in tow, whom Jungsu had to diplomatically persuade into returning to her native planet, Kyuhyun had started to believe that, well, maybe Donghae was just that dense.
The klaxons blared, signaling off-world gate activation. Looking at the time, it was most likely Donghae’s team returning from a routine trading mission. Deciding to hold off his coffee break until he had seen Donghae back safe and sound, Kyuhyun took a sharp left into the gate room
“Confirming…it’s Major Lee’s IDC.” Henry the Canadian announced.
Jungsu nodded. “Alright. Lower the shields.”
Kyuhyun doubted he would ever get sick of looking at the event horizon, radiant and rippling like a breeze upon the sea. However, he had gotten sick of seeing Major Lee Donghae coming back with yet another chieftain’s lovesick daughter, who fluttered about him like a moth to flame, although her eyes were now taking in the wonders of Lantean architecture.
With another three soft thumps, Sungmin, Hyukjae, and Sooyoung came through, each determinately looking anywhere but at Donghae and his newest arm attachment. To his credit, Donghae looked a bit sheepish while actively detangling himself from her embrace.
“I really tried, you know I’m trying really, really hard now.” He pleaded, and promptly withered under Jungsu’s unamused glare. With a deep breath, he gave a wavering smile and tried again. “I got some of the almost-coffee that you like?”
On a good day, this statement and a bit more groveling would have been enough to placate Jungsu, but today was not one of those days. Kyuhyun knew from monitoring their intranet forums that Jungsu had met Heechul earlier to talk about “appropriate workplace language and behavior,” as well as “the detrimental effects of verbal abuse on subordinates, especially when they control the city’s hot water supply.”
Jungsu came out of that meeting looking ten years older. Heechul came out of it with a fiercely defiant glow in his eyes. Kyuhyun, at the moment, didn’t want to be in Donghae’s shoes right now.
“Lieutenant Choi, please escort our guest to my office. I will be there shortly to meet with her.” Siwon walked up to the girl and proffered his arm with a flourish. Kyuhyun resisted the urge to roll his eyes.
“And Major Lee, please proceed to the medical wing for a…screening.” Jungsu finished, and walked away amidst Donghae’s protests of “I didn’t even touch her. She came onto me!”
Most occupants of the room cleared their throats or had little coughing fits. Shindong gave a particularly loud hack that sounded like Kirk.
Donghae hadn’t even noticed Kyuhyun’s presence in his misery, until Kyuhyun bumped shoulders with him when he walked past. “Come on, I heard they made those almost-egg almost-butter tarts this morning. They should still have some if we go now.” He gently led Donghae to a cafeteria table and grabbed a cup of tea and pastry for both of them.
“What’s wrong with me?” Donghae wailed into his arm, “Why doesn’t anyone believe me? I haven’t even been making eye contact with them, because I figured that might put them off, but no. No. They just thought I was shy and needed to get used to her presence and pushed her through the gate with me. And, well, she didn’t mind that much, so it wasn’t hard.”
Kyuhyun tried not to snort into his tea, but it was very difficult. He was beginning to understand Donghae’s appeal though, like his fly-away hair and soft eyes; easy lopsided smiles and the graceful lilt to his movements. And maybe Kyuhyun had studied said features more closely than it warranted between friends, but he was a scientist at heart. He was justified in making exhaustive observations of those around him.
“It’s a well known fact that the universe loves you,” Kyuhyun said, and waited for Donghae to take a sip of his tea. “And would like to be impregnated by your magical savior cock.”
There was tea all over him by the end of it, but Kyuhyun enjoyed Donghae’s half-indignant-half-choked-wholly-embarrassed sputters. Kyuhyun particularly liked the way Donghae begrudgingly dried his neck with a napkin, and tried not to shiver at the small, inadvertent brushes of his fingertips.
-
One day, by some sort of miracle, the anthropologists, whose research neither Heechul nor Kyuhyun cared for, jizzed themselves upon discovering a set of Ancient ruins on P3X-624.
“It is very large.” The head of anthropology, a tall, gangly man with a thick Chinese accent told them, “Very old. We could learn so much from them. Their culture, customs, social castes, and maybe even the location of a hidden ZPM.”
And apparently, that was the magic word. Heechul’s head shot up in interest and promptly demanded these ruins to be well searched by all the off-world teams they could spare and that, no, he didn’t care if Jongwoon still needed to crutches to walk, because his scientists needed to be defended in this noble cause, in case the Wraith decided to drop in for a quick chat and a spot of tea.
Of course, Heechul had been banned from off-world missions months ago as a precautionary measure. So naturally, Kyuhyun went in his place to supervise. But it wasn’t so much supervising as dying of heatstroke. Apparently, “very large” only extended to the area the ruins covered, and not so much the height of structures. This explained why half of the expedition members were currently glaring at Han Geng, and the other half being too heat-glazed to muster up such emotions.
The upside to the heat rashes and unpleasantness, Kyuhyun decided, was the locals. They had deemed it a religious mission to send their prettiest daughters and sons to deliver fresh water and juice to the strangers from The Great Holy Puddle, and really, Kyuhyun was not one to complain about treatment like that.
“Welcome to our planet.” Someone said, and Kyuhyun lifted his head to see what was, quite possibly, the prettiest girl out of all the backwater unwashed planets combined. In her hand was an earthenware jug, filled to the brim with water so clear it reflected the sky in wavy ripples. Kyuhyun took it from her with a grateful smile and drank deeply. She smiled back and, in a move of surprising boldness, covered his hands with hers around the jug.
“Uh.” Kyuhyun swallowed, unsure of how to proceed in face of another brilliant smile.
“There is a celebratory feast tonight.” She said, “My people have extended invitations for your people to join us. We believe you are the ones the Ancestors have sent to protect us from the Wraith, and that is very much a cause for celebration.”
Kyuhyun cleared his throat. “Actually, we’re-”
“And I would like it if you could come as…as my…” The girl blushed prettily and tightened her hand over Kyuhyun’s, “as my guest.”
Kyuhyun remembered way back when he used to like girls. Liked their soft curves and full lips and long, slick hair. Liked the way their breasts fit the cup of his hand. Liked how they smelled and laughed and their voices at 10A.M., drowsy with sleep and -
Ok, the truth was, it was one girl. One girl in college that left him after the semester was over and she no longer needed his notes to pass that class. It was heartbreaking, for the lack of a better word, but Kyuhyun didn’t blame her. He was difficult to fall in love with and much more difficult to stay in love with. Unfortunately, that difficulty was never present in how easily Kyuhyun had managed to fall in love.
He bit his lip and pushed thoughts of Donghae’s 7A.M.-coffee-bearing wink from his mind, and grinned back. “I’d like that.” He told the girl. “I’ll see you there if that's alright?”
“Actually,” Donghae’s voice rang through the clearing, and Kyuhyun saw him approach with a polite smile on his face. “I don’t think we can spare a night here. I apologize sincerely, but our people would like us back before sundown.”
The girl’s face fell from what seemed like genuine disappointment. “Oh. But could you contact your people and ask to - ”
“I could, but I doubt the answer would be much different.” Donghae shrugged and, to her, he probably looked helpless and just as disappointed, but Kyuhyun noticed a sharp slant to Donghae’s jaw that looked almost painful.
After another few seconds of imploring looks, the girl finally sighed and took the almost empty jug from Kyuhyun’s hands. “It was nice to meet you.” She said, lips pouted at not getting her wish, and left to join the group of stragglers back to her village.
There was a short silence, during which Kyuhyun stared very hard at Donghae. Donghae, on the other hand, stared very hard at some mountains in the distance, as if willing one of them to suddenly erupt or, even better, to turn into a Wraith hive ship, so he’d at least have an excuse to leave. But Kyuhyun blinked, then said slowly, “Did you just - did you just cockblock me?”
“No.” Donghae scuffed his boots on the ground. “I was just, y’know, telling her what Jungsu told us. No unnecessary contact with the locals, remember?”
Kyuhyun frowned. “But you love parties.”
“I doubt they’re going to play my kind of music.”
“But there was going to be alcohol! And food! And possibly getting high off of ceremonial alien grass!”
Donghae just looked at him with the sort of military glare that Kyuhyun hadn’t known him to possess. It was alarming to see Donghae so serious like this, but when he blinked, the glower was gone, and Kyuhyun had his best friend back.
“Come on,” Donghae nudged his shoulder. Kyuhyun nudged back and tried not to flinch. “Let’s go, I hear they’re starting to head back to the gate.”
Kyuhyun re-adjusted his backpack straps and, with a final attempt at normalcy, muttered, “I can’t believe you actually cockblocked me.”
“I was only looking out for you. Alien STIs are horrible.”
“I see you are experienced in such matters. You know, sooner or later, I’ll get all the details from Nurse Zhou about your sordid love affairs and relay them to every girl you inadvertently woo off-world.”
Donghae scowled at him and made as if he was going to say something. But three pauses later, he simply rolled his eyes and threw an arm over Kyuhyun’s shoulders instead. Together, they walked toward gate, backs illuminated by the sinking suns of P3X-624.
Donghae never saw it coming; Stargate Atlantis AU.
The problem with Donghae was that he never saw it coming.
At first, Kyuhyun thought it was a ruse, another flyboy façade that Donghae draped over himself like a warm Athosian cloak on sea-chilled evenings. But when he came back from the third off-world mission with a brand new wife in tow, whom Jungsu had to diplomatically persuade into returning to her native planet, Kyuhyun had started to believe that, well, maybe Donghae was just that dense.
The klaxons blared, signaling off-world gate activation. Looking at the time, it was most likely Donghae’s team returning from a routine trading mission. Deciding to hold off his coffee break until he had seen Donghae back safe and sound, Kyuhyun took a sharp left into the gate room
“Confirming…it’s Major Lee’s IDC.” Henry the Canadian announced.
Jungsu nodded. “Alright. Lower the shields.”
Kyuhyun doubted he would ever get sick of looking at the event horizon, radiant and rippling like a breeze upon the sea. However, he had gotten sick of seeing Major Lee Donghae coming back with yet another chieftain’s lovesick daughter, who fluttered about him like a moth to flame, although her eyes were now taking in the wonders of Lantean architecture.
With another three soft thumps, Sungmin, Hyukjae, and Sooyoung came through, each determinately looking anywhere but at Donghae and his newest arm attachment. To his credit, Donghae looked a bit sheepish while actively detangling himself from her embrace.
“I really tried, you know I’m trying really, really hard now.” He pleaded, and promptly withered under Jungsu’s unamused glare. With a deep breath, he gave a wavering smile and tried again. “I got some of the almost-coffee that you like?”
On a good day, this statement and a bit more groveling would have been enough to placate Jungsu, but today was not one of those days. Kyuhyun knew from monitoring their intranet forums that Jungsu had met Heechul earlier to talk about “appropriate workplace language and behavior,” as well as “the detrimental effects of verbal abuse on subordinates, especially when they control the city’s hot water supply.”
Jungsu came out of that meeting looking ten years older. Heechul came out of it with a fiercely defiant glow in his eyes. Kyuhyun, at the moment, didn’t want to be in Donghae’s shoes right now.
“Lieutenant Choi, please escort our guest to my office. I will be there shortly to meet with her.” Siwon walked up to the girl and proffered his arm with a flourish. Kyuhyun resisted the urge to roll his eyes.
“And Major Lee, please proceed to the medical wing for a…screening.” Jungsu finished, and walked away amidst Donghae’s protests of “I didn’t even touch her. She came onto me!”
Most occupants of the room cleared their throats or had little coughing fits. Shindong gave a particularly loud hack that sounded like Kirk.
Donghae hadn’t even noticed Kyuhyun’s presence in his misery, until Kyuhyun bumped shoulders with him when he walked past. “Come on, I heard they made those almost-egg almost-butter tarts this morning. They should still have some if we go now.” He gently led Donghae to a cafeteria table and grabbed a cup of tea and pastry for both of them.
“What’s wrong with me?” Donghae wailed into his arm, “Why doesn’t anyone believe me? I haven’t even been making eye contact with them, because I figured that might put them off, but no. No. They just thought I was shy and needed to get used to her presence and pushed her through the gate with me. And, well, she didn’t mind that much, so it wasn’t hard.”
Kyuhyun tried not to snort into his tea, but it was very difficult. He was beginning to understand Donghae’s appeal though, like his fly-away hair and soft eyes; easy lopsided smiles and the graceful lilt to his movements. And maybe Kyuhyun had studied said features more closely than it warranted between friends, but he was a scientist at heart. He was justified in making exhaustive observations of those around him.
“It’s a well known fact that the universe loves you,” Kyuhyun said, and waited for Donghae to take a sip of his tea. “And would like to be impregnated by your magical savior cock.”
There was tea all over him by the end of it, but Kyuhyun enjoyed Donghae’s half-indignant-half-choked-wholly-embarrassed sputters. Kyuhyun particularly liked the way Donghae begrudgingly dried his neck with a napkin, and tried not to shiver at the small, inadvertent brushes of his fingertips.
-
One day, by some sort of miracle, the anthropologists, whose research neither Heechul nor Kyuhyun cared for, jizzed themselves upon discovering a set of Ancient ruins on P3X-624.
“It is very large.” The head of anthropology, a tall, gangly man with a thick Chinese accent told them, “Very old. We could learn so much from them. Their culture, customs, social castes, and maybe even the location of a hidden ZPM.”
And apparently, that was the magic word. Heechul’s head shot up in interest and promptly demanded these ruins to be well searched by all the off-world teams they could spare and that, no, he didn’t care if Jongwoon still needed to crutches to walk, because his scientists needed to be defended in this noble cause, in case the Wraith decided to drop in for a quick chat and a spot of tea.
Of course, Heechul had been banned from off-world missions months ago as a precautionary measure. So naturally, Kyuhyun went in his place to supervise. But it wasn’t so much supervising as dying of heatstroke. Apparently, “very large” only extended to the area the ruins covered, and not so much the height of structures. This explained why half of the expedition members were currently glaring at Han Geng, and the other half being too heat-glazed to muster up such emotions.
The upside to the heat rashes and unpleasantness, Kyuhyun decided, was the locals. They had deemed it a religious mission to send their prettiest daughters and sons to deliver fresh water and juice to the strangers from The Great Holy Puddle, and really, Kyuhyun was not one to complain about treatment like that.
“Welcome to our planet.” Someone said, and Kyuhyun lifted his head to see what was, quite possibly, the prettiest girl out of all the backwater unwashed planets combined. In her hand was an earthenware jug, filled to the brim with water so clear it reflected the sky in wavy ripples. Kyuhyun took it from her with a grateful smile and drank deeply. She smiled back and, in a move of surprising boldness, covered his hands with hers around the jug.
“Uh.” Kyuhyun swallowed, unsure of how to proceed in face of another brilliant smile.
“There is a celebratory feast tonight.” She said, “My people have extended invitations for your people to join us. We believe you are the ones the Ancestors have sent to protect us from the Wraith, and that is very much a cause for celebration.”
Kyuhyun cleared his throat. “Actually, we’re-”
“And I would like it if you could come as…as my…” The girl blushed prettily and tightened her hand over Kyuhyun’s, “as my guest.”
Kyuhyun remembered way back when he used to like girls. Liked their soft curves and full lips and long, slick hair. Liked the way their breasts fit the cup of his hand. Liked how they smelled and laughed and their voices at 10A.M., drowsy with sleep and -
Ok, the truth was, it was one girl. One girl in college that left him after the semester was over and she no longer needed his notes to pass that class. It was heartbreaking, for the lack of a better word, but Kyuhyun didn’t blame her. He was difficult to fall in love with and much more difficult to stay in love with. Unfortunately, that difficulty was never present in how easily Kyuhyun had managed to fall in love.
He bit his lip and pushed thoughts of Donghae’s 7A.M.-coffee-bearing wink from his mind, and grinned back. “I’d like that.” He told the girl. “I’ll see you there if that's alright?”
“Actually,” Donghae’s voice rang through the clearing, and Kyuhyun saw him approach with a polite smile on his face. “I don’t think we can spare a night here. I apologize sincerely, but our people would like us back before sundown.”
The girl’s face fell from what seemed like genuine disappointment. “Oh. But could you contact your people and ask to - ”
“I could, but I doubt the answer would be much different.” Donghae shrugged and, to her, he probably looked helpless and just as disappointed, but Kyuhyun noticed a sharp slant to Donghae’s jaw that looked almost painful.
After another few seconds of imploring looks, the girl finally sighed and took the almost empty jug from Kyuhyun’s hands. “It was nice to meet you.” She said, lips pouted at not getting her wish, and left to join the group of stragglers back to her village.
There was a short silence, during which Kyuhyun stared very hard at Donghae. Donghae, on the other hand, stared very hard at some mountains in the distance, as if willing one of them to suddenly erupt or, even better, to turn into a Wraith hive ship, so he’d at least have an excuse to leave. But Kyuhyun blinked, then said slowly, “Did you just - did you just cockblock me?”
“No.” Donghae scuffed his boots on the ground. “I was just, y’know, telling her what Jungsu told us. No unnecessary contact with the locals, remember?”
Kyuhyun frowned. “But you love parties.”
“I doubt they’re going to play my kind of music.”
“But there was going to be alcohol! And food! And possibly getting high off of ceremonial alien grass!”
Donghae just looked at him with the sort of military glare that Kyuhyun hadn’t known him to possess. It was alarming to see Donghae so serious like this, but when he blinked, the glower was gone, and Kyuhyun had his best friend back.
“Come on,” Donghae nudged his shoulder. Kyuhyun nudged back and tried not to flinch. “Let’s go, I hear they’re starting to head back to the gate.”
Kyuhyun re-adjusted his backpack straps and, with a final attempt at normalcy, muttered, “I can’t believe you actually cockblocked me.”
“I was only looking out for you. Alien STIs are horrible.”
“I see you are experienced in such matters. You know, sooner or later, I’ll get all the details from Nurse Zhou about your sordid love affairs and relay them to every girl you inadvertently woo off-world.”
Donghae scowled at him and made as if he was going to say something. But three pauses later, he simply rolled his eyes and threw an arm over Kyuhyun’s shoulders instead. Together, they walked toward gate, backs illuminated by the sinking suns of P3X-624.