all I want to do

[subtleresidue]

all I want to do is

email strangers
picture myself on the top of a green hill, laying in the sun, overlooking the water
be home, fulfilling the image
talk to nice drunk boys
lay down in the grass and breathe
think
sleep

but what I am doing is

procrastinating
sipping water from a sports bottle with a straw
sneezing
feeling dry
being tired
having cluttered thoughts overwhelm me

sometimes I deprive myself of sleep.