How do you solve a problem like Maria?
Funny you should ask that, my dear nuns. You see, when the cloistered life hits celluloid, you know you're gonna get either a tale of true love OR Drama with a big D. And by "D", I mean "S." For Satan.
Heh. I'm all goofy because I just watched what I assumed would be a bit of a dull flick. How wrong I was! The film is "Black Narcissus" - it was made in 1947 ... and it has some gorgeous cinematography.
Even though that's mostly model and painted backdrop ... still: pretty!
But my attention wouldn't have been held by prettiness alone (although it certainly helped.) No: by far what caught my mind was the ANTI "Sound of Music" answer to the following hypothetical
So you're a nun, and you don't think you're cut out for it. You are prey to fits of moodiness, and your sisters in Christ keep tutting about your misbehavior. What to do, what to do? Well, if you're Sister Maria from "The Sound of Music", you go mack on a hot widower, and skip through fields and flowers with his (many!) children, and make them playclothes out of curtains.
If you're Sister Ruth from "Black Narcissus," you try and mack on a local diplomatic attache given to riding in short shorts and visiting the nunnery without a shirt. And when he gives you the cold shoulder ... you go BUGFUCK CRAZY!
Oh, and then you become the BRIDE OF SATAN!
Although I could be reading too much into that last. :) Did I mention this movie was made in 1947? Wanna see more pics?
Here's Sister Ruth. She tries her best to pray, but the Almighty, and her own hormonal urges, are having none of it.
(NB: throughout this film, red and blue are juxstaposed in shot after gorgeous shot. The beauty only highlights the visceral quality of Ruth's descent into madness.)
So, Ruth (in the middle) is denied the chance to make the beast with two backs with this hirsute wonder:
She tries to confess, but Sister Clodagh is shocked! SHOCKED! by Sister Ruth's insinuations that they both lust after the same man.
Although, admittedly, Sister Ruth is looking a tad cracked already.
Then she overhears Sister Clodagh and the beefcake talking, and ...
Uh-oh. You know bad shit is about to go down when you are lit with the Flickering Fires of Hell cam.
So Ruth decides to leave the order. First thing to do is fix her hair and put on lipstick.
Why are you putting on lipstick in the middle of the Himalayas? All the better to Symbolize your Downfall! (Now complete with hand compact / Eve's apple combo.)
Re-e-e-e-ed lipstick. In vivid technicolor.
Nice. So then Sister Ruth gets turned down by Hottie, and faints in rage (with a fade-to-red, THEN fade to black.) When she comes to, we at first think she's going to admit defeat and go stumble away to her doom in the jungle. Well, she stumbles away. But it is only to turn into a crazy-scary incarnation of Evil.
Here is the prey:
And here is Sister Ruth
Stalking her prey from the bushes!!!
Did I mention this film was made in 1947? Because after only two unnerving scuttling-around and lithely loping down stairs shots - that could have come right out of a modern horror film, you see Ruth open the door for the showdown:
DUDE. IF ONLY she knew kung fu.
Seriously, though ... going from a slightly neurotic nun
to the BRIDE of SATAN
in about 90 minutes?
Epic.
My applause to directors Powell and Pressburger.
(PS: Here's an interesting essay on their work in "Black Narcissus" - www.powell-pressburger.org/Reviews/47_BN/MMB.html )
(PPS: I passed my Exams of Doom. Huzzah!)
Heh. I'm all goofy because I just watched what I assumed would be a bit of a dull flick. How wrong I was! The film is "Black Narcissus" - it was made in 1947 ... and it has some gorgeous cinematography.
Even though that's mostly model and painted backdrop ... still: pretty!
But my attention wouldn't have been held by prettiness alone (although it certainly helped.) No: by far what caught my mind was the ANTI "Sound of Music" answer to the following hypothetical
So you're a nun, and you don't think you're cut out for it. You are prey to fits of moodiness, and your sisters in Christ keep tutting about your misbehavior. What to do, what to do? Well, if you're Sister Maria from "The Sound of Music", you go mack on a hot widower, and skip through fields and flowers with his (many!) children, and make them playclothes out of curtains.
If you're Sister Ruth from "Black Narcissus," you try and mack on a local diplomatic attache given to riding in short shorts and visiting the nunnery without a shirt. And when he gives you the cold shoulder ... you go BUGFUCK CRAZY!
Oh, and then you become the BRIDE OF SATAN!
Although I could be reading too much into that last. :) Did I mention this movie was made in 1947? Wanna see more pics?
Here's Sister Ruth. She tries her best to pray, but the Almighty, and her own hormonal urges, are having none of it.
(NB: throughout this film, red and blue are juxstaposed in shot after gorgeous shot. The beauty only highlights the visceral quality of Ruth's descent into madness.)
So, Ruth (in the middle) is denied the chance to make the beast with two backs with this hirsute wonder:
She tries to confess, but Sister Clodagh is shocked! SHOCKED! by Sister Ruth's insinuations that they both lust after the same man.
Although, admittedly, Sister Ruth is looking a tad cracked already.
Then she overhears Sister Clodagh and the beefcake talking, and ...
Uh-oh. You know bad shit is about to go down when you are lit with the Flickering Fires of Hell cam.
So Ruth decides to leave the order. First thing to do is fix her hair and put on lipstick.
Why are you putting on lipstick in the middle of the Himalayas? All the better to Symbolize your Downfall! (Now complete with hand compact / Eve's apple combo.)
Re-e-e-e-ed lipstick. In vivid technicolor.
Nice. So then Sister Ruth gets turned down by Hottie, and faints in rage (with a fade-to-red, THEN fade to black.) When she comes to, we at first think she's going to admit defeat and go stumble away to her doom in the jungle. Well, she stumbles away. But it is only to turn into a crazy-scary incarnation of Evil.
Here is the prey:
And here is Sister Ruth
Stalking her prey from the bushes!!!
Did I mention this film was made in 1947? Because after only two unnerving scuttling-around and lithely loping down stairs shots - that could have come right out of a modern horror film, you see Ruth open the door for the showdown:
DUDE. IF ONLY she knew kung fu.
Seriously, though ... going from a slightly neurotic nun
to the BRIDE of SATAN
in about 90 minutes?
Epic.
My applause to directors Powell and Pressburger.
(PS: Here's an interesting essay on their work in "Black Narcissus" - www.powell-pressburger.org/Reviews/47_BN/MMB.html )
(PPS: I passed my Exams of Doom. Huzzah!)