Pepper Potts: the Compton waitress edition
PSA: If you're looking at this thinking, gee, this person sure looks like she hates women, she even calls herself misogynist for swapping in a male actor for G.Pal! then maybe you should re-examine your ironic faculties before you start flaming me. I mean, come on, think about it: most misogynists wouldn't self-identify as such. In fact, misogynists have been known to identify as anything but. See also: Camille Paglia. Also, most misogynists would think that the way the character Pepper Potts was treated when played by a woman [bound and hobbled in high heels; jealous and catty and woman-hating herself; squeamish and whiny in life and death situations; functionally illiterate and soprano-voiced in the face of technology and masculine agency] was totally acceptable and barely worth commenting on. However, the character nigh-on ruined the movie for me. See also: the someecard quote below. So I went ahead and rewrote the character as male. You can see how notions of agency change with the pronouns and the power dynamic shifts and the bulk of the action ends up skewed when there's an extra dick in the picture. Call my substitution of a talentless man-child over the person responsible for GOOP misogynist, but at least acknowledge that I am aware of the politics of that choice before you start making assumptions. That said, if you want to have a legitimate discussion about whether slash fiction is inherently anti-woman despite being written entirely by women, then please do comment, because it's a topic I never tire of examining.
--
Last weekend, owench, delighter and I went to see Iron Man.
Our highly-compressed reaction went as follows:
delighter: Robert Downey Jr., getting off heroin was the best thing you ever did for the world.
Someecards.com: Iron Man showed me all it takes to be a superhero is brains, billions of dollars, and galling misogyny.
delighter: You know what gets rid of misogyny? Getting rid of women. I ship Tony Stark/Pepper Potts when Pepper is played by Shia LaBeouf.
Saturday Night Live: Basically, Shia LaBeouf as a sidekick with anal lubricant is the most obvious and hilarious joke we've ever made.
subterrain: Let me write a five part epic on that thesis.
So now delighter is slaving away on the other end of the country, and I have two days off to collect my fangirl thoughts. Naturally, I give you picspam.
Pepper the Waitress
Pepper was a busboy when Tony was so impressed with his cupid-bow lips and soulful eyes that he hired him. Poor Pepper's hair is long and greased back because he can't afford a haircut. He's pissed, obviously, because he doesn't like rolling silverware. He has a long way to go.
Pepper dresses up like a secretary for the very first time.
Look at him, in the new suit Tony bought him. Of course, he still prefers the black on black. The little thug from South Central will never be fully reformed.
Pepper three years in: still a totally rockin' secretary, and improving every day
Taking pride in his professionalism, Pepper one day aspires to also be Tony's chauffeur. Seriously. He loves that Audi R8 more than he loves his mother.
Pepper attends meetings and handles administrative details like a pro
Even if he doesn't have a high school education, sometimes he'll hang out with the engineers. He likes math. What.
The police call Pepper because Tony's on one of his benders :(
Pepper is very unimpressed and simultaneously concerned. They're both arrested. Tony for being drunk and probably naked, Pepper for trying way too hard to dissuade the police from taking Tony in. They spend their first night together in the holding tank.
Pepper waiting for Tony to come home from Afghanistan.
Note the face wounds from drunken brawling of despair! Also shown: Pepper's own secretary, Linda.
Pepper is super worried about Tony and Iron Man
or Tony being Iron Man. What if they DIE? How will he know? How will he be able to help him?
Man up: Pepper totes knows he can help out Iron Man
And continue being the best. Secretary. Ever.
Pepper and some trash help out Iron Man
At Iron Man's insistance, Pepper helps some vag, but really he's doing it for Tony.
Pepper is totally not into that kink.
Tony's dead jealous, but Pepper is actually pretty repulsed by this (mere) millionaire oil tycoon. Especially with that toxic goo kink.
Pepper is a hot little slut, unfortch
And at one A-list gala his three-piece suit is just so titillating that Tony can't keep his hands off him. EVEN IN PUBLIC. Hoo boy, lines were crossed, the press was notified. That's why poor Pepper looks so concerned (and flustered/out of breath).
Pepper is concerned about his lack of professionalism.
He thinks maybe he's a bad secretary after all. Perhaps he should quit, y/n?
Pepper's sorry he was so melodramatic, he knows he could never leave Tony!
He has Tony's social security number tattooed on his wrist, after all.
Pepper and Tony go on vacation.
Pepper naturally also has one of Iron Man's favourite gun/blaster/missiles tattooed on his ribs. Right now, Tony is totally making a really bad joke about Thai massages. Pepper is also not into that. God, Tony.
Pepper in bed.
Strangely fully dressed, wtf.
Now I'm just debating the allowability of including Keanu Reeves's Constantine as a SHIELD agent and waiting on Brooke's detailed plotlines for Iron Man III.
Probably Installment 1/5 for this sucker will be up tonight.
--
Last weekend, owench, delighter and I went to see Iron Man.
Our highly-compressed reaction went as follows:
delighter: Robert Downey Jr., getting off heroin was the best thing you ever did for the world.
Someecards.com: Iron Man showed me all it takes to be a superhero is brains, billions of dollars, and galling misogyny.
delighter: You know what gets rid of misogyny? Getting rid of women. I ship Tony Stark/Pepper Potts when Pepper is played by Shia LaBeouf.
Saturday Night Live: Basically, Shia LaBeouf as a sidekick with anal lubricant is the most obvious and hilarious joke we've ever made.
subterrain: Let me write a five part epic on that thesis.
So now delighter is slaving away on the other end of the country, and I have two days off to collect my fangirl thoughts. Naturally, I give you picspam.
Pepper the Waitress
Pepper was a busboy when Tony was so impressed with his cupid-bow lips and soulful eyes that he hired him. Poor Pepper's hair is long and greased back because he can't afford a haircut. He's pissed, obviously, because he doesn't like rolling silverware. He has a long way to go.
Pepper dresses up like a secretary for the very first time.
Look at him, in the new suit Tony bought him. Of course, he still prefers the black on black. The little thug from South Central will never be fully reformed.
Pepper three years in: still a totally rockin' secretary, and improving every day
Taking pride in his professionalism, Pepper one day aspires to also be Tony's chauffeur. Seriously. He loves that Audi R8 more than he loves his mother.
Pepper attends meetings and handles administrative details like a pro
Even if he doesn't have a high school education, sometimes he'll hang out with the engineers. He likes math. What.
The police call Pepper because Tony's on one of his benders :(
Pepper is very unimpressed and simultaneously concerned. They're both arrested. Tony for being drunk and probably naked, Pepper for trying way too hard to dissuade the police from taking Tony in. They spend their first night together in the holding tank.
Pepper waiting for Tony to come home from Afghanistan.
Note the face wounds from drunken brawling of despair! Also shown: Pepper's own secretary, Linda.
Pepper is super worried about Tony and Iron Man
or Tony being Iron Man. What if they DIE? How will he know? How will he be able to help him?
Man up: Pepper totes knows he can help out Iron Man
And continue being the best. Secretary. Ever.
Pepper and some trash help out Iron Man
At Iron Man's insistance, Pepper helps some vag, but really he's doing it for Tony.
Pepper is totally not into that kink.
Tony's dead jealous, but Pepper is actually pretty repulsed by this (mere) millionaire oil tycoon. Especially with that toxic goo kink.
Pepper is a hot little slut, unfortch
And at one A-list gala his three-piece suit is just so titillating that Tony can't keep his hands off him. EVEN IN PUBLIC. Hoo boy, lines were crossed, the press was notified. That's why poor Pepper looks so concerned (and flustered/out of breath).
Pepper is concerned about his lack of professionalism.
He thinks maybe he's a bad secretary after all. Perhaps he should quit, y/n?
Pepper's sorry he was so melodramatic, he knows he could never leave Tony!
He has Tony's social security number tattooed on his wrist, after all.
Pepper and Tony go on vacation.
Pepper naturally also has one of Iron Man's favourite gun/blaster/missiles tattooed on his ribs. Right now, Tony is totally making a really bad joke about Thai massages. Pepper is also not into that. God, Tony.
Pepper in bed.
Strangely fully dressed, wtf.
Now I'm just debating the allowability of including Keanu Reeves's Constantine as a SHIELD agent and waiting on Brooke's detailed plotlines for Iron Man III.
Probably Installment 1/5 for this sucker will be up tonight.