pop quiz

[subswitch]

quick, somebody tell me the difference between dominant and domineering.

Comments

[sadisticmiss]

For some, it's who you choose to serve and who you live with...for others, it's naturally in our DNA...(and for me, I'm both)

[captiv8edkitten]

The first thing that came to mind...

Dominant could refer to an ability to spark in others a need to win approval or to inspire one to please.

Someone who is domineering may get a similar end result, but it may be attained by force or by fear.

[subswitch]

no wonder i find you so inspirational, do you, uh, like me/my writing? i, uh, hope you approve.

[captiv8edkitten]

*wriggling toes*
This made me think of the adorable uncertainty that some submissives display when they havent been with me long enough to be certain of what consistantly pleases me. Those who I trust enough to play with without my boots on eventually notice something that made me laugh the first time it was pointed out...

If im in a particularly playful mood during a scene, I wriggle my toes a little when I really like something or when an especially deviant idea enters my mind. That little "tell" doesnt enter the picture at all if im in the mood for a more emotionally/mentally intense interaction.

You know I enjoy your writing. Considering that is how I know you, I must like you too!

[subswitch]

i am flattered and reasured that you trust me enough to wriggle your toes when you reply. that's a very good thing to a man like me

[hottaffy]

hey!!! How are you? Been awhile since i read much from you...thought of you when i had to do a sucking toes task from this group Mastertfrommars had me join...*hehehhehehe*

Okay what are doing going to decide if you want to be a dominate or domineering???

[subswitch]

Hey, yeah.tell me about the task. glad you're thinking about me. What's up with you?

[grail76]

I think dominant is a personal tendency. When you go to a meeting and you're the one who keeps it on track instead of wandering around or not coming to a decision, you're dominant.

domineering suggests you do it when it's not welcome. "he had a domineering mother who never let him make a decision."

[subswitch]

hey jl, thanks for responding.
check out my answer to captivated kitten regarding characterization getting in the way of empathic accuracy and let me know what you think.
james

[grail76]

I think there's something to what she says. She's taken "dominant" and made it into the ability to inspire, which to me would mean they were good at it. I think you can be dominant and not very good at it, perhaps unable to inspire but able to plan and create how a group should act. Kind of depends on the submissive in a bdsm context. Some want to be seduced. Some want to be controlled. the "oh, treat me like an object ... " kind of thing.

[subswitch]

we should probably be friends.
whaddya think