Comments | substitute: late night toast thoughts due to SSRI withdrawal without any mahler symphonies at all

substitute

late night toast thoughts due to SSRI withdrawal without any mahler symphonies at all

Aug 31, 2006 04:39

Shouldn't toast be instantaneous? There's no slow simmery magic or magic roasting chemistry going on. The raw material is fully cooked. It's just dry heat applied to sliced bread ( Read more... )

toast, insomnia, food

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judgefudge August 31 2006, 13:43:44 UTC

The outer layer of toast is a starch that, despite appearances, has a lot of water in it. Flash cooking will tend to carbonize it. Slower cooking tends to caramelize it. This is the difference between the brownness of toast and the blackness of burnt toast.

substitute August 31 2006, 13:48:57 UTC

FIX THE PROBLEMS!

springheel_jack August 31 2006, 15:31:19 UTC

A few minutes of 'net research convinces me that there's a lot of work to be done here. The 'browning reaction' - the general class of chemical changes that take place at the surface of food when it is heated - are very poorly understood. RBU has an 'institute for coffee studies,' so I think there is room for one on the study of browning and caramelization.

judgefudge August 31 2006, 15:38:23 UTC

Plus, out of spite, realize this: changing the behavior of toasters means a level of knowledge of chemistry far beyond what we have now, plus possible changes in natural law. Frankly if we have that ability, I'd change substitute's brain to make him less cranky about something as insignificant as toast.

springheel_jack August 31 2006, 15:42:02 UTC

I think forcing changes in the thoughts and feelings of a human being in preference to changing the chemistry of bread would count as "using your powers for evil rather than good."

screed August 31 2006, 16:11:16 UTC

As an outside observer, I like his brain. I also consider waiting for toast theraputic.

judgefudge August 31 2006, 17:04:11 UTC

Toast is like life: its most nuanced flavors take time and gentle heat.

What Conrad is suggesting is the Sid Vicious of bread: fast, and in the end lacking subtlety and flavor; in many ways, the toast is equally bland as its untoasted counterparts.

mcpino August 31 2006, 17:08:13 UTC

I did it myyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy waaaaaaaaaaaaaay!

screed August 31 2006, 17:10:03 UTC

He's in Southern California, man. There are Red Hot Chili Peppers have songs about "fast toast" and how it killed all their original guitarists.

[And I can spell therapeutic when I have my contacts in.]

substitute August 31 2006, 22:08:03 UTC

It's a joke, son. It's a joke.

judgefudge September 1 2006, 03:08:42 UTC

Sure, after I win.

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