(no subject)
I am Derek Needham. I have very little real friends. I am addicted to cigarettes. I am psycholoically addicted to weed. It is the only thing that makes me feel worth anything just because i cant think well when i am on it. I have no girlfriend, but there are girls i like.....but i cant say the same for them liking me. I like listening to sad music to put me in a in more of a depressed mood, because your attidtude rises back up. I do not get along with my dad, but i do get along with my mom. My brother is far away and i never see him. Lately i am on edge and i see everything fucked up. I know i should continue on, but i have been in this feeling of "depression" that hasnt seem to go away for weeks. I go to Damien high school, and i try to get involved with people but am usually ignored. Its hard to see life as happy when everything around me isnt happy. I have more problems then i do solutions. I have my license but no car. I work at pacific where i havent been paid yet but when i do i have a feeling i will spend it all on weed. How do i solve my problems if nobody is here for me...not even my family. Its sad too because i bet people will read this, and feel bad for me and talk to me for 1 night and then next night nothing....but this feeling will still be here.....i have no date to prom so i think i am not going to go..no biggie....