this could be the whole fucking deal.
i need to get back to creating. i need to get back to that type of focus. i've run so far away its almost imposible to imagine. i know... how odd it must seem to the ones who know that i've existed only for that since i can remember. but the sad truth is that i got a fucking chill when i stood in front of that mirror the last time. it killed so much of me. and that has allowed me to move on but, i swear, nothing in my life has been harder. facing yrself is some tough ass shit. but, by god, if you can get passed that mother fuckin shit it makes you a warrior. a fucking god worthy of respect and worship. and the really important shit is that you dont judge ever again. you realize we all exist and that all of it has meaning and importance. that everyone has something to offer, no matter how clouded. goddamn its great to be here. + i will, therefore, do something everyday once again. feeling nothing. feeling as if i'm not here. i'm going to get somewhere better.
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goddamn i think i could love the shit out of you. i think i could follow in yr footsteps not because i need to feel recognized but because i truely understand and see you and you are some fucking amazing shit. you are worth reapeating. i want to kiss the hell out of you but slowly and peacfully. like we have months to get to know the way we like it. what we both have to offer. feel the flow. feel the magnatizme. god. i could so fall for you. but that would ruin everything. i know. i get it now. ireally do. if we dont make out before i leave i will be totally dissapointed. fer sure.
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"i dont want to live my life again..." its true. how could anyone? i love when i meet people that can keep up. its not like i'm an asshole. i just want to be able to flow freely. to exist like i really can. to feel like i can say what the fuck is on my mind. i want to know what i have to offer and really agknowledge that. to truely know what i'm into. not some t.v. representation. not some watered down acceptance of reality or truth. i need to know what i really am. i am in the companty of others forever and in need to know i'm needed. i know i need that. i've never had it all right? i need to know love and if that means i need to know she loves me then what the fuck? the days are too short and the nights are too long. lyrics mean everything, dancing is a whole 'nother thing. it's totally different. i want to let loose but i also need to know others feel what i feel. without that you start to feel like an island. like some sort of monster who only comes out when its overly safe. i need security and i've found that in the one (or two) thing(s) i'm abt to give up. swim out as far as you can.
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lets get fucked up. lets talk abt the whole of it as if its all hate or love. lets really disect all the shit. the get into the web of it all. my neighbors setting off fireworks. my fear of spelling everything wrong. my fear of exsitance. the real deal. the you and me. the want to suck dick and the need to find everything that a woman is to my progression. i need you.
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i am really getting to a place of happiness and everytime that happens i get lost. so lost. what to do? when all realism drifts into a void i cant conquer. i am the greatest loss.
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what do you want from me????????????????
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goddamn i think i could love the shit out of you. i think i could follow in yr footsteps not because i need to feel recognized but because i truely understand and see you and you are some fucking amazing shit. you are worth reapeating. i want to kiss the hell out of you but slowly and peacfully. like we have months to get to know the way we like it. what we both have to offer. feel the flow. feel the magnatizme. god. i could so fall for you. but that would ruin everything. i know. i get it now. ireally do. if we dont make out before i leave i will be totally dissapointed. fer sure.
-
"i dont want to live my life again..." its true. how could anyone? i love when i meet people that can keep up. its not like i'm an asshole. i just want to be able to flow freely. to exist like i really can. to feel like i can say what the fuck is on my mind. i want to know what i have to offer and really agknowledge that. to truely know what i'm into. not some t.v. representation. not some watered down acceptance of reality or truth. i need to know what i really am. i am in the companty of others forever and in need to know i'm needed. i know i need that. i've never had it all right? i need to know love and if that means i need to know she loves me then what the fuck? the days are too short and the nights are too long. lyrics mean everything, dancing is a whole 'nother thing. it's totally different. i want to let loose but i also need to know others feel what i feel. without that you start to feel like an island. like some sort of monster who only comes out when its overly safe. i need security and i've found that in the one (or two) thing(s) i'm abt to give up. swim out as far as you can.
-
lets get fucked up. lets talk abt the whole of it as if its all hate or love. lets really disect all the shit. the get into the web of it all. my neighbors setting off fireworks. my fear of spelling everything wrong. my fear of exsitance. the real deal. the you and me. the want to suck dick and the need to find everything that a woman is to my progression. i need you.
-
i am really getting to a place of happiness and everytime that happens i get lost. so lost. what to do? when all realism drifts into a void i cant conquer. i am the greatest loss.
=
what do you want from me????????????????