I Love My Mother
I miss my mother. It's really hard for me to admit this. I was really hard on my mother when I was growing up. When I was a rebellious teen, I was very hard on her. Extremely so. There was even such a point where I almost ruined her relationship with my step-father. I was very evil. I was suicidal. I was destructive. I was just really hard on her. It's weird when I look back on it now. It's hard to believe that I was ever that way to her. It was never justified. She definitely did not deserve all the shit that I put her through. Not in the least. I used to scream at her and tell her I hated her. I was just a miserable person. All she did was love me and take care of me. She would do anything for me. She was honestly the coolest mom I ever had. I can't believe that I would do shit like that to her. And to think of all the things she still does for me, even after the way that I treated her. I was a cruel and wicked child. I don't deserve her love or anything that she does for me. I don't. I know this. I wish that there was a way that I could tell her how much I love her. I mean, I tell her that I love her all the time. But, I want her to know how much I am sorry. How much I didn't mean to hurt her the way that I did all those years ago. I want her to know how much I appreciate her being in my life and how I would do anything for her. I want her to know that. The day that I lose my mom, I am going to break. If something were to ever happen to my mother, my whole life will shatter. I won't be able to go on. I know this in my heart. There will be nothing left inside of me. I will die that day. And there won't be a way for me to go on....